The Treasured World of Quinn and Rachel
by Jubella
Summary: When you meet someone going through hard times, a pure and steady friendship is all you need to keep afloat. Souls are inside bodies and God created those souls; if they match, it's God's work.
1. Lucy and Rachel

_I guess I should tell you as a warning that Quinn's family, or at least her dad, is OOC._

.

The world was a messy place, Lucy realized. Things happened without a reason; or because of God's will, she had been told. God watched over people, gave them good things if they're good, gave them bad things if they're bad. But she'd also been told that God is merciful and forgiving.

So what had this girl's Daddy do, to make God so mad? So mad that He made him sick?

She would have asked her Daddy, except she felt it was one of those questions that would make him mad.

This girl seemed innocent; surely she couldn't have done anything to make God so mad that He'd make her feel so sad. She was asleep when she got there, but Lucy saw her face was red and puffy. She'd been crying, she could tell. Lucy got ugly red spots on her face when she cried, and her nose got all burgundy and swollen. But this girl still looked pretty.

From her place on a mattress on her bedroom floor, Lucy could see a stuffed monkey clutched against the girl's chest, and she instinctively reached for her lamb inside the covers.

She hoped the girl was nice, because Lucy only knew mean girls.

* * *

The girl, Rachel, was very quiet for a week. Lucy's Mom always spoke quietly at her, like she did when Lucy or her sister, Frannie, were sick. But Rachel wasn't sick, and everyone treated her differently because she was sad. Lucy tried to surreptitiously watch her, maybe see what she liked and they could talk about that. But the problem was, she didn't have any friends, and so she just couldn't find the courage to speak to Rachel. And Rachel was really pretty, why would she want Lucy's friendship in the first place?

The first days were scary. Rachel knew Russell, her Papa's co-worker, from the few times she'd been to their office. He seemed nice, and his wife Judy treated her good, too. But they weren't her Daddy and Papa, and she missed them. She knew Daddy was sick and had to be in the hospital, and she couldn't stay there, but that did nothing to make her feel better.

This house was very different from her own. A lot of things were to not be touched, the couches weren't that comfy, and they ate meat. Sometimes Rachel felt like crying at the dinner table and not because of her Daddy. She missed all the movies and books and records she had at home, she was only allowed to bring her favorites and soon she realized they all were.

Most of all, Rachel observed Lucy. She only had a few friends at school, only the kids that mattered. The other ones could be mean or silly, and she didn't care about them.

But where did Lucy fit? They had only exchanged a few words. Rachel knew she should be polite and make proper conversation, but she wasn't sure about what they could talk about.

The first time they really talked was the night Rachel came back from her first visit to her Daddy at the hospital.

Lucy had been to church and then bible study, but when she got home Rachel wasn't there yet. They weren't exactly friends, but she knew where the brunette was today and she couldn't help but to be a little bit worried about her. She couldn't stop thinking about it all day.

Rachel arrived home after dinner. Her Mom went for a hug, but Rachel uncharacteristically hid behind her Papa's leg. He looked really tired, Lucy noticed from her place atop of the stairs. _He_ looked like the sick one. They had a quiet talk and then Rachel hugged her father on the doorstep for a very long time, legs hanging and body almost hidden by his arms. All Lucy could make out was her brown hair beneath her father's chin and her long legs, appearing from under his embrace.

Once he let her go, Rachel ran up the stairs, past Lucy until she reached the bedroom door. She seemed to deliberate for a few seconds, but ultimately went inside.

Lucy didn't know what to do.

Should she go inside and talk? Except she really didn't know how to do that.

Should she leave her alone? Rachel seemed sad, and maybe she needed a hug. Lucy could do that.

"Lucy, come here for a second." Her mother called from the foyer.

Sighing, she went down the stairs as gracefully as she could, because her mother was watching.

"Rachel is a little sad today, okay?" Judy said softly. Lucy had to look up so see her face. "So don't bother her. Just… let her be, yes Honey?"

Lucy wanted to say something.

_But won't she need a hug? Shouldn't we give her cookies? Maybe she _wants_ to talk about it. Let's just ask her. Let's at least_ ask.

But instead she just nodded.

Sometimes, when she was sad, she just wanted to talk about it. Maybe have someone hold her. Sometimes she daren't approach her mother and she just hoped she could see how sad she was and ask her if anything was wrong. But her mother almost never did, and Lucy didn't know how to reach out to her.

Her only solution was to write. She wrote how she felt, what she'd like, how she would have faced those girls at school who pulled her hair tie and dumped it in the toilet so she had only half her hair up. Sometimes she wrote stories, about girls who were stronger and faced the bullies and did all those things she just couldn't dare to do.

Lucy nodded to her mom and went gracefully upstairs, but walked hurriedly to her room once she was in the hallway. When she entered her room she couldn't see Rachel anywhere, until she heard sniffling coming from the closed closet doors. Biting her lip and taking a deep breath, she took courage from somewhere within her, that felt suspiciously like it came from where her cross touched the skin of her chest.

Slowly, she sat down next to the closed doors.

"R-rachel?" She asked tentatively. "It's… Lucy. Um… are you okay?"

She heard sniffling, but Rachel didn't answer. Trying desperately not to breathe too hard from the nervousness and slight panic of putting herself out there, Lucy looked around the room for something that might help.

Rachel's monkey was peeking out of the covers, and she crawled to her bed to retrieve it and went back to her place next to the closet.

"I have… something… for you." She said quietly. "Maybe you just need… um… I have Mr. Teddy for when I get sad." She frowned. She would never say that at school, because everyone would make fun of her. But Rachel was sad, and Lucy… she was finally taking courage. "What's your monkey's name?"

Rachel still didn't say anything from the other side of the door, she just sniffled and sighed. And then…

"Oz."

Lucy almost gasped at that single word.

"Well… he's here with me, and maybe… you just need a-a hug."

It took a few seconds, but the door slowly opened and Rachel scooted over a little outside of the closet. She grabbed Oz from Lucy's hands and snuggled him to her chest, hiding her face in him.

Lucy watched quietly, not really sure of what was next and getting a little nervous.

"Thank you." Rachel murmured, finally looking up.

Her face was red and tear-strained, her eyes were puffy and her nose was running, just a little.

Lucy got up from the floor and headed to her desk, taking a tissue from the box and handing it to Rachel, who blew her nose noisily. Lucy had the sudden urge to giggle, but it mostly came from the excitement of taking a little courage and speaking up. But most of all for making Rachel feel better, if only a little.

"I'd like it if we'd be friends." Rachel said suddenly, voice serious with a confidence that surprised Lucy.

_Friends?_

"You… you want to be friends?" Rachel nodded. "_With me?_"

"You've been kind." Rachel answered softly. "Why wouldn't I want to be your friend?"

_Because no one really likes me. Because everyone thinks I'm weird and I'm starting to believe them. Because I'm ugly and you're pretty. Because I'm just… Lucy._

"I don't know." She mumbled instead, feeling her face going red.

"I think I deserve that hug you promised me." Rachel said. She could tell that Lucy was just shy, and her Daddy always said that making friends was harder for shy people, and that she should give them a little push.

Her Daddy said a lot of wise things.

Somehow the tears were back in her eyes.

Lucy noticed and stepped forward, biting her lip. Rachel was just a little bit taller, and so she hugged her waist. She smelled like the vanilla perfume her mother put in her clothes, and Lucy smiled.

"I'd like to be your friend."

* * *

Lucy didn't really know what they were supposed to do now that she and Rachel were friends. She had friends before, but somehow she couldn't remember what they did, what they played at. She mostly didn't play now. Running was not proper and she could stain her clothes in the back yard, and her mother would be really mad.

But luckily, after a few days, Rachel seemed to gain confidence. And she really liked to talk. Lucy was glad, because she wasn't much of a talker.

There was this thing called Broadway that seemed to be what Rachel loved the most. She said it was her dream, to sing and dance and act on a stage on Broadway, New York. She told Lucy the entire story of her visit there when they were back home from their respective schools on Friday.

She'd seen Wicked there with her dads the year before, and when she found out that Lucy didn't know the story, she proceeded to tell it to her.

It was past their bedtime when Rachel finished. Somehow, she'd spoken all afternoon. She'd spoken non-stop at the dinner table, and Lucy's attention was divided between the story, Rachel's facial expressions and looking sacredly at her parents. She was afraid one of they would get mad, but none of them did. Her mother even asked questions and Frannie kept giggling behind her glass.

Lucy was reminded of their Christmas dinners, where everyone just seemed _happier_.

* * *

Rachel was in the closet again the next Sunday night.

It was harder for Lucy to hear her sniffling because Rachel was her friend now. She was her only friend, and Lucy realized she never ever wanted her to be sad. Rachel was such a happy person, from morning to night. Sure, she'd only seen a week of it, and there were a few times when Rachel just wasn't there in the house, but she was bubbly ninety percent of the time, and Lucy hated the other part.

"I'm here." She said as soon as she sat on the floor next to the closet door.

They were silent for a while, but Lucy couldn't hear any crying.

"Could you get Oz?" Rachel asked quietly.

"He's here with me."

The door opened slowly once again, and Rachel snuggled the monkey to her chest and hid her face in it.

"My Daddy's hair is falling off."

"Why?" Lucy whispered, confused. Rachel just shrugged one shoulder. "When I'm sad…"

"What?"

"Um… I write."

"I sing." Rachel smiled a little.

"Do you want to? Now?"

"Do you know Billie Holiday?" Rachel asked instead. Lucy shook her head. "My Papa sings a song to me when I have nightmares, he's really terrible at singing, but I like it anyway."

"Do you want to sing that now?"

The sudden shine in Rachel's eyes made Lucy worry she was about to start crying again, but then she smiled, and Lucy knew she'd asked the right thing.

It was a song about smiling and being happy, and it somehow made Lucy's heart beat everywhere in her chest because Rachel's voice was simply amazing.

There, sitting in the floor of her bedroom with their backs against the wall and Oz between them, Lucy knew that Rachel was probably right. She'd be on Broadway when they grew up, because she could only imagine what she sounded when she sang out loud and not just softly, like she was doing now.

She contemplated if it was a good thing to ask Rachel for another song, but she somehow seemed suddenly exhausted, so they went to brush their teeth instead.

* * *

"We should play something." Rachel announced one day after school.

They'd had cookies, special ones for Rachel that her Papa brought every week, and were sitting at the living room couch, the most comfortable one, that wasn't really comfortable at all. Lucy had just finished her homework and was hoping for maybe read her next _Chronicles of Narnia_ book that her sister had given her as a present, just because.

Playing with Rachel seemed… exciting.

"What should we play?"

"I don't know…" Rachel's face scrunched up in thought and Lucy smiled. "Princesses!"

"O-kay…"

"But not the kind of princesses that poison each other with apples over boys, _real_ princesses, like Lady D."

Lucy had no idea how to play at that, so she just sat there, quietly observing Rachel with her hands on her lap and her lips pressed together, furrowing her brow.

Rachel smiled widely when she saw the look on her face.

"There has to be a big issue in our kingdom that we have to solve as we are responsible for the safety of our people."

"But I thought there could only be one princess." Lucy frowned.

"No, silly; that's the queen. There can be a lot of princesses in a castle."

"So who is the queen?"

"Your Mom." Rachel stated excitedly.

"I'm not sure she'll want to play with us…"

"But we have to think about the problem first! What could be wrong that we have to fix?"

"The White Witch wants it to be winter forever." Lucy whispered unsure.

"The White Witch?" Rachel frowned.

"She's… um… she's got all the-the bad creatures on her side… and…"

"Does she have powers?"

"She can turn people into stone with her magic wand." Lucy rushed out, feeling immediately pleased with herself when Rachel's eyes widened. "She's really tall and-and beautiful, and really, really strong."

"Okay, that is scary and amazing. Dramatic, in other words; which is why I absolutely love it."

Lucy beamed.

"We need costumes."

Her tone of voice accepted no buts, and so Lucy nodded and they ran as slowly as they could up the stairs.

All her dresses were a little big for Rachel, but she didn't seem to mind. They put on as many necklaces as they could per Rachel's insistence that they needed to be elegant, and Lucy daren't tell her that her mother once said that elegant meant choosing one jewel and wearing it right. When they left the room, Rachel running excitedly down the hall, she bumped right into Frannie and almost fell on her ass.

When she looked up, and amazing gasp left her lips.

Frannie had a weird up-do in her hair and a long dress that looked kind of silly, the kind the women wore on the movies her mother watched.

"The White Witch!" Rachel gasped again.

Frannie lifted an amused eyebrow at her, with a little quirk of her lip.

"Excuse me, Dopey?"

"We're playing." Lucy said quietly.

"Well _I'm_ not playing with you." She said sternly, but the adorable look on both their ridiculous faces full of crappy make up melted her heart just a little. She sighed. "You're playing _Narnia_?"

"No, just princesses." Lucy answered again.

"The White Witch wants to take over our kingdom! She's kidnapped the queen and threatened to turn her into stone if we don't surrender and give her the throne, and she's got… um –"

"Trolls?" Lucy supplied hesitantly.

"She's got Trolls around our land to keep help from coming!"

Frannie suddenly seemed to really like their game, because she had a huge smile on her face.

"Okay, who's your queen?"

"Your mother!" Rachel squealed, getting more and more excited by the second.

"Where is she?"

"In the kitchen."

"Okay, wait a second, right here." Frannie walked to her bedroom and turned around at the door. "Don't move or I'll turn you into stone." She threatened before going inside.

Rachel gasped and slowly reached out to take Lucy's hand, and they waited like statues until Frannie was out in the hallway once more, this time with a crown on her head and barefoot instead of with the shoes she was wearing before.

"Okay, go explore or whatever and I'll be in the kitchen threatening your kingdom" She went down the stairs with that walk that Lucy admired and disappeared.

"We have to hide and plan out a strategy!" Rachel beamed, tugging at Lucy's hand and bolting down the stairs.

They ended up hidden in the wardrobe under the stairs, giggling like crazy.

"What do we do now?" Lucy whispered.

"How do we defeat the White Witch?"

"Um… I don't know. We can't _hit_ her."

"No, of course not. She needs to have a weak spot."

"I don't know about that." Lucy shrugged.

Somehow she was both incredibly excited and fearful about playing this. She was good at imagining stories in her head, reading them or creating them, but she wasn't so sure she could play along as well as Rachel did. It was exciting, though, and Rachel didn't seem to mind that she wasn't really good at acting it out.

"We have to confront her." Rachel decided.

"How?"

"We stand up to her. We're _princesses_, and _no one_ is allowed to be mean to us."

Suddenly this was a lot scarier than before.

"But what do we do if someone's mean to us?" Lucy whispered.

"I told you, we stand up to them! Papa and Daddy told me that I should _never_ let people tell me how I am or what I can or can't do, because I can be anyone I want."

"That sounds… so nice." Lucy whispered.

"And it's true." Rachel nodded confidently. "So are you ready to stand up to the White Witch?"

"Will you hold my hand?"

"Of course."

"Then yes."

* * *

Frannie was at the kitchen table, doing homework, and Judy was already making dinner, cutting vegetables and boiling water.

"We're here to fight!" Rachel exclaimed as they entered the kitchen, hand in hand.

Judy turned around to watch them and immediately covered her mouth. The make-up all over their face would be impossible to wash, and Lucy had stained her white dress with red lipstick. They looked… adorable, and it was the first time she saw her daughter, usually shy and hidden behind books or notebooks, play like that.

"What's going on?" She asked curiously.

"Nothing, I've taken over their kingdom and kidnapped you –you're the queen– because I'm the evil White Witch."

"Is that why you haven't taken off your drama class costume?"

"Yeah, and the Prom Queen crown." Frannie pointed to her head.

"So how are you going to defend me?" Judy asked the girls in all her seriousness, watching them as they still held hands in the doorway, whispering to each other.

"We're –we're standing up… to you."

Frannie smiled that smile at Lucy, like she wanted so badly to say something but thought her sister wouldn't understand. Like she loved her even more because of it.

"How?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

"You're mean and the meanies never win." Rachel said defiantly. Lucy was staring at her with rapt attention. "You can try to take away our kingdom as many times as you want, but we'll never give up, because we're strong and talented and we'll win in the end."

Frannie was a lot more than just impressed by the confidence and knowledge of this nine year old girl, and she couldn't help but to see her in a new light.

So she said.

"Okay, I surrender."

Lucy's mouth was hanging open and Rachel was frowning.

"Wait, that's it?"

"You're obviously a lot stronger and a lot wiser than me, so…" She shrugged.

"But she was supposed to sing to you to show you that, and then you'll surrender!"

It was the loudest she'd heard Lucy speak, ever, and that somehow made Frannie like Rachel even more.

"So do it, Grumpy."

_With a Smile and a Song_ wasn't Frannie's idea of a song to defeat a witch, but perhaps it was the ideal song to melt even the White Witch's heart. Little Rachel Berry could sing, and everyone seemed to realize that as soon as she started singing. Her mother gasped behind her and Lucy beamed as big as ever, and even her father appeared from his study with a stunned expression on his face through the ending of the song.

They all applauded and Rachel had the courtesy to blush despite that face splitting grin. Lucy wasn't far behind it, though, and as soon as her father returned to his study a minute later, she grabbed Rachel's hand and they disappeared running up the stairs.

Rachel was a good kid, amazingly talented, and she seemed to be just what her sister needed to loosen up a little, get out of her shell and act like the little kid she was.

* * *

"You're going to be on Broadway!" Lucy exclaimed once they entered her room, climbing to her bed and jumping on it.

"I know!" Rachel beamed. "Did you like it?"

"As soon as you make a CD I'm going to buy it Rach! I'll probably have my own car then and I'll play it everywhere!"

Rachel giggled and joined Lucy on the bed, grabbing her hands and jumping up and down with her.

"I hope you're not jumping on the bed, Lucy Quinn Fabray." Her Daddy's voice was suddenly right behind the door, and they stopped immediately, just in time to hear him walk away.

Lucy was still giggling, covering her mouth.

"Your name's Lucy Quinn?" Rachel asked with her eyebrows raised.

"Yeah." Lucy answered, and then her face fell a little. "Is it a stupid name?"

"No… it's… actually really pretty."

"Do you have a middle name?"

"Rachel Barbra, like _the_ Barbra."

"What Barbra?" Lucy asked, clueless, and her brow furrowed at Rachel's shocked expression.

"My parents need to have a serious talk with your parents." She answered seriously.

* * *

The next Sunday, when she left church, Rachel was standing at the sidewalk with two ice-cream cones and the biggest smile Lucy had _ever_ seen.

"Hi!" Rachel bounced excitedly on her spot, careful not to drop the treats.

Lucy felt an overwhelming rush to run to her in her excitement, but ultimately controlled herself because her family was right behind.

"Thank you!" She grinned widely at Rachel when she offered one of the ice-creams. "Are you here alone?"

"No, silly, I want you to meet my Daddy. They're watching me over from a park bench across the street." She seemed to be trying really hard to contain her energy, eyes wide and legs bouncing. They walked towards her parents, who were speaking with some friends from the church, and Judy turned around to look at them. "Ms. Fabray, my dads are across the street and they'd like to meet Lucy. And-and speak to you, once you're finished."

Judy immediately raised her head in search for them, and she seemed to spot them, because she nodded.

"Okay, be very careful when you cross the street, girls."

Lucy was equal parts excited and afraid. She couldn't wait to actually speak to Rachel's Papa and meet her Daddy for the first time, but she was also afraid, because she'd never met someone sick before, and she just didn't know what to expect.

Rachel's Papa smiled widely and motioned for them to hurry, which was exactly what they needed to start running towards them, just like they wanted.

Lucy didn't really pay attention to Rachel's Daddy until he was right in front of her. Her first thought was that he seemed unusually clothed, because the day wasn't so cold. He was bald, and a little pale, and didn't really seem to be able to crush Rachel in a hug like her Papa was doing right now.

"It's nice to meet you, sir." She said just like she'd been told, stretching her hand towards him, trying to make him lift his as little as she could.

"My name's Leroy, please call me that. And you must be Lucy; Rachel's talked non-stop about you."

"She's talked a lot about you, too." Lucy smiled shyly. "She said… um… that you needed to teach me everything about Barbra once you were back home… sir-Leroy."

He laughed gently, the corner of his eyes crinkling. Lucy had never met someone bald before, but she found she quite liked the way his face seemed to never end and the top shined.

Rachel was snuggled on the bench between them, one of her Daddy's hands on her lap, sandwiched between both of her own, with her Papa's hand on top of the pile. Their skins were all a different tone. Lucy really liked it.

Leroy and Hiram talked to them about silly things they loved until Judy, Russell and Frannie appeared. Frannie took both of them to the playground while the adults talked, but Rachel seemed really distressed at having to leave her dads, even if just for a while.

"We'll be back there in a little while, okay Sneezy?"

They went to sit on one side of the seesaw while Frannie took the other, but Rachel seemed to just look at their parents talking with a pout and shiny eyes.

They changed for the swings in little time, but then after a minute Frannie ended up with a whimpering Rachel on her lap. They rocked slowly back and forth, but it didn't seem to calm her. Lucy got up from her swing and stood in front of them, so that her stretched hands were able to touch Rachel every time they moved forward.

"What if we sing a song?" She suggested timidly, and Rachel nodded glumly.

"What do you want to sing, Doc?" Frannie squeezed her softly and the brunette smiled a little.

"There you see her, sitting there across the way…" Rachel began singing and immediately both Fabray girls smiled and joined her.

They were screaming and giggling more than singing by the time they sung _"…She won't say a word until you kiss the girl…" _And just then their parents decided to join them with amused expressions on their faces.

Rachel immediately ran towards her dads and Hiram picked her up in an instant, swinging her like a doll and settling her in his shoulders.

Frannie grabbed Lucy's hand they walked together towards their parents.

"Leroy will be home for a few weeks before he has to be back at the hospital." Russell told them once they were all together. "So Rachel will be going home today and we'll guest her with all our pleasure again in three weeks."

Lucy nodded, somehow torn between feeling extremely happy that her friend would be going home and sad at the same time because they wouldn't be together.

Rachel was on the floor once again, beaming magnificently and hugging Russell, then Judy and then Frannie.

"I'm going to miss you a little, Happy." She said while messing her hair, and Rachel beamed.

Then suddenly Lucy almost fell with the force of Rachel's hug, who was squeezing her shoulders and back tightly.

"I'll miss you, Lu." She said softly, kissing her cheek.

Finally Lucy decided to just be elated for her friend and her dads, and she watched them go slowly down the park's path while she sat in the swings with Frannie again.


	2. Another World

It was now the third time Rachel was staying in her house for a while. It was still hard, but less complicated to understand, and now Rachel went prepared.

The pile of books, records and movies atop her desk never seemed to get smaller. Lucy wondered just how many of all those things Rachel had at home.

Her father's record player stayed always in his study, but Lucy was allowed to have her grandfather's in her room. It seemed even more special, and so it was enough. Even though Rachel had a variety of music, their favorite remained Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald, especially when she sang with Louis Armstrong. Billie was the first thing Lucy had ever heard Rachel sing, so it was special. Even though, of course, Barbara always had to be played at least once a day, but Lucy didn't mind at all.

They were ten now, but still managed to run around the house and hook Russell and Judy into their games, now with one partner on leave to college. Princesses were getting a little old and astronauts fascinating, and somehow Astronaut Princesses made a lot of sense. Lucy was Captain, Russell and Judy were King and Queen, and Rachel was a Broadway star. Always.

They were currently making their Space Ship.

Judy had given them her old guest sheets and Russell had donated the old outside Christmas lights. These, of course, were the space and the stars. The Space Ship was Lucy's new bed. It was big enough to fit both of them, Mr. Teddy the lamb and Oz the monkey, and a few necessary things like Lucy's notebook and a few books to pass the time. They really weren't planning on leaving any time soon, but first they had to find a way to keep the space from falling over their heads.

"You haven't tied it well!" Rachel whined for the third time.

"This nail is not enough, Rachel!"

"Well it has to be, because your dad forbade me from using the hammer."

"We can just… not tell him." Lucy murmured.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray! Are you trying to be disobedient?" Before Lucy could gape like a fish any longer, Rachel beamed, raising her eyebrows. "Let's do it."

They walked sneakily down the stairs. Judy was watching an old movie in the living room and Russell was at the office at work. The door to the basement creaked if opened slowly, so they turned the knob and pushed hard. Lucy expertly turned the light on and they went down the stairs, straight for the tool box under the table, exactly where Russell had caught them yesterday afternoon.

Lucy could feel her blood pumping, because she was doing something _bad_. It was just like she had felt a few days ago when someone had been mean to her and she'd said something back. Rachel always told her to face the bullies, and if Lucy could just picture holding her hand while she defended herself, she found that courage that she'd gain that first Sunday.

They went up the stairs quietly and into her room. The record player was still going and their Space Ship looked ridiculous with one side hanging down. Pushing the sheet up, they climbed on the bed, Lucy with a nail and Rachel with the hammer.

"Okay, hold it there and I'll nail it." Rachel said determined, a look of deep concentration on her face and her tongue peeking out from the corner of her mouth.

"No way." Lucy breathed out. She didn't know why they were still whispering, Judy was downstairs watching a movie and she wouldn't be able to hear them, but it felt even more thrilling if they whispered.

"I'm not going to hit your hand, promise!"

"Not on purpose, but maybe by accident!"

"Please Lu; I have to hold the hammer with both hands because it's too heavy! I can't hold both."

The pout did her in. Lucy sighed and nodded. Rachel grabbed the hammer hard with both hands and swung it backwards.

"Wait, wait!" Lucy breathed, lowering her hand. "Are you sure you have good aim?"

"Yes." Rachel hissed. "Now go on." She motioned with her head.

Lucy bit her lip but put the nail on the wall again.

"Be careful with your head!"

"Yes!"

"Don't let it slip down your hand!"

"I won't, Lucy, set the nail straighte –ow!"

"Rachel!" Lucy shrieked.

"Oh my God, oh my God." Rachel was cupping her forehead, and Lucy could see blood through her fingers.

"Are you okay? Did you hit your eye?"

"It really hurts, oh my God; I think I cracked my head!"

"Oh, no, no, no. MOM! MOM, HELP US, MOM!"

The sound of feet thumping up the stairs at supernatural speed was followed by Judy's frantic calls just five seconds later.

"Where are you? Girls, what happened?"

"We're in here, Mom!" Lucy was trying desperately to remove the sheet, but somehow couldn't understand which side was up and down, and Rachel was crying next to her on the mattress.

Finally Judy tore the whole thing down and away, just in time to see Lucy helping Rachel sit up, grabbing her head with her blooded hands.

"What happened?" She shrieked, crawling over the bed to get to them and grab Rachel's arms. "Let me see, Honey, what did you do?"

"The space kept falling and I wanted to fix it!" Rachel sobbed.

"It's okay Baby, let's go downstairs and I'll clean that up."

"Don't worry Rach, Mom's a nurse! Mom, is her head broken?" Lucy asked in concerned, gripping one of Rachel's hands as they went down the stairs.

"It's not broken, girls. Come on."

Judy's hands were shaking a little while she cleaned Rachel's wound.

"It's okay now, but you're probably going to have a scar."

"Okay." Rachel nodded, holding tightly onto one of Lucy's chubby arms.

"What were you thinking? And I think Russell gave you a clear warning not to use the hammer yourselves! You're both grounded."

"Okay." Rachel agreed. Lucy nodded.

"No dessert for a week, no television, and Rachel sleeps in the guest room tonight."

Rachel pouted but otherwise accepted.

"And you're not allowed to build that back up until Russell has time to do it for you, understand?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Yes, Ms. Fabray."

"Ms. Fabray?" Judy scoffed. "Don't make me look like an ogre." She smirked, poking Rachel's belly and getting a smile.

* * *

Russell had gotten angry too, purple in the face to contain his temper, and so Lucy waited a full hour after everything went dark and quiet to pad down the hallway to the guest room.

"'severyone sleep?" Rachel slurred when Lucy sneaked under the covers.

"Yes." She whispered. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, only hurts a little."

"But you'll be okay." Lucy assured her with her utmost conviction.

"Did you bring a flashlight?" Rachel murmured.

"The pink one with the piggy."

Rachel giggled quietly.

"Does it look bad?" She asked after a second.

Lucy pointed her flashlight at Rachel's forehead.

"Um… just a little swollen. It'll be fine."

"My face can't be deformed if I want to be on Broadway! I'll only get the part for Quasimodo!"

Lucy couldn't help but snort and soon they had to muffle their giggles.

"You're really pretty, Rachel. It'll be fine. If it's any help, Mom said I'm going to get braces. _Then_ you won't have to worry."

"What are you talking about?" Rachel frowned. "You're _really_ pretty."

"Mmm no, I don't think so."

"But I _know_ so."

"Rachel… I faced the bullies like you told me to, but… um…" Lucy bit her lip, trying really hard not to cry. Rachel always made her happy; she didn't want to cry in front of her.

"But what?" She asked concernedly. "Do you want me to hit them?"

Lucy smiled a little.

"They… call me Lucy Caboosey." She whispered, ashamed.

Everything went silent for a second.

"That's idiotic and unimaginative."

Lucy sighed, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"You're the _prettiest_ girl." Rachel whispered. "I want to tell you a secret."

"Okay." Lucy said quietly, sniffing back tears and pressing her lips together.

"Daddy told me… he didn't believe in angels when I asked him if one could take him away. And I believed him. But… the first day I woke up here, the first thing I saw was you. You were sleeping on a mattress on the floor, and you had Mr. Teddy." Lucy chuckled. "And I saw a picture of an angel once. It was dressed in robes; it had curly hair and was holding a lamb, and it was _so_ pretty. And the first thing I thought that day was that Daddy was wrong…. I looked at you and I believed in angels because you looked so much like one."

"Do you really mean that?"

"I don't say things I don't mean, Lucy Quinn."

Lucy moved awkwardly forward in the bed to hug Rachel, hiding her nose in her hair that smelled like strawberry shampoo.

"You're the best friend I've ever had."

* * *

Lucy was waiting for Rachel to come back from visiting her Daddy when the doorbell rang. She ran out of her room and held onto the banister as her mom opened the door, and Hiram stood there, looking a little out of breath.

"Is Rachel here?"

"What are you talking about? She was with you." Judy answered with an edge to her voice. "Did something happen?"

"She… she ran. We told her about the trip to DC and she got… upset." His eyes widened. "She didn't come here?"

"No!" Judy exclaimed.

Lucy was out of the door and on her bicycle before either of them could catch her.

Going to the swings had become their thing on Sunday. Even when Rachel wasn't staying at her house, almost every Sunday after church she was waiting for Lucy outside. Sometimes they went to see a movie with her dads or to get ice-cream, and sometimes they sat on the swings while their parents talked about grown-up things on a bench far behind, looking over at them from time to time.

She just had a feeling Rachel would be there, and she wasn't wrong.

Rachel jumped off the swing and ran to her as soon as she entered the park in her bike, and Lucy jumped off before Rachel could tackle her to the floor.

"What happened?" Lucy asked against dark brown hair. She was getting taller and Rachel was staying the same, and now she could almost rest her chin atop her friend's head.

Rachel pulled away and wiped at her tear streamed cheeks.

"Daddy and Papa are going away." She answered quietly.

"What? Where?"

"Daddy needs to take studies in Washington because the doctors here can't do them, and they're going away."

"But for how long?"

"A month."

"I'm sorry." Lucy pulled her into a hug again. "But it's not _that_ long." Rachel just shrugged, cheek pressed against Lucy's shoulder. "Let's go to the swings and let them find us. Come on." She tugged her by the hand and carried the bicycle with the other.

They were about to sit when Rachel gasped.

"Oh, Lucy, I forgot!" Lucy frowned. "Show me your teeth!"

The frown transformed into an expression of slight panic.

"No." She refused, pressing her lips together.

"Come on! Why not?"

"Because I look ugly." Lucy mumbled, looking to the ground when Rachel sighed.

"That's not true." She said softly, sitting on a swing and motioning for her to come closer. "Show me your pretty teeth."

Lucy smiled bashfully at Rachel's grin, but still shook her head.

"Did it hurt?"

"No, they just feel weird; like I can't close my mouth the whole way."

"You're going to drool on your pillow." Rachel ginned once more, tongue trapped between her teeth.

It made Lucy even less eager to show her the braces. Rachel's smile was stunning, she would never need them.

"Please, Lucy. Let me see? You're going to have to smile eventually, anyway."

"I'll cover my mouth."

"Lucy." Rachel's tone was serious and she looked up. "What did one shark say to the other while they were eating a clownfish?"

Lucy _almost_ smiled at that.

"_What_?"

"What did one shark say to the other while they were eating a clownfish?"

"Um… I don't know."

"This tastes funny."

Lucy couldn't help the laugher that came all the way from her belly and made her cackle.

"They're not bad at all!" Rachel exclaimed, and just then Lucy realized what had happened.

"You tricked me!" She screamed indignantly, still grinning.

Rachel shrugged and pushed herself forward on the swing.

"You should smile all the time, that's what life is about." She said wistfully. "That's what Daddy says."

"Okay, it's just…" She trailed off, walking around the swings to stand behind Rachel and push her. "They'll make fun of me even more."

"For laughing? Let them live being grumpy, you have to be happy!"

"Because of the braces… and everything else."

"They don't know what they're talking about. Papa says people make fun of you when they don't understand you. Or sometimes they're sad or lonely and they don't know what to do."

"Well it's not _my_ fault. Why do they have to take it out on me?"

"Maybe they don't know any better." Rachel shrugged.

"I guess..."

"I overreacted." Rachel said quietly after a while of being gently pushed forward. "I shouldn't have left."

"Then why did you?"

"I don't know. I got mad, I guess… I just want to go home with them and stay there, and… I know it's not Daddy's fault that he's sick, and maybe now he's sad because he thinks I'm mad at him." She sniffed.

"I don't think he's sad." Lucy said softly, grabbing onto the chains to bring the swing to a halt. "And if he is, he'll forgive you." She wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and rested her chin on her shoulder.

Rachel turned her head a little to press their cheeks together.

"I'm just tired." She said dejectedly. "I love spending time with you, but I just… I want to go home."

Suddenly her cheek was wet and she realized Rachel was crying. Lucy brought one of her hands to dry the tears from Rachel's face blindly from behind, and just then her father's car parked in front of the church and Hiram and him came out.

Rachel ran towards her Papa, who pulled her up from the floor and between his arms. Lucy walked straight to Russell, pushing her bike alongside of her.

"Thank you for finding her, Lucy." He took the bike from her and carried it to the back of the car.

They rode in silence to the Fabray home, but no one grounded them that day and, after dinner, they went quietly upstairs to Lucy's room, inside the Space Ship Russell had built back up properly for them.

"We'll have fun and the month will pass quickly." Lucy mumbled sleepily.

"At least I'll be here for your birthday, right?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome." Rachel smiled, setting her hand atop of Lucy's between them and falling asleep.

* * *

Rachel's dads had been away for three weeks when the phone rang, two days before Lucy's eleventh birthday.

Rachel ran quickly down the stairs towards the phone, it was six o'clock and her fathers always called then, never missing a minute. She waited, panting softly, as she watched Judy talk to them first, like always, with a small smile on her face. When she turned around, Rachel eagerly ran towards her and pulled the cable until she was hidden inside the wardrobe under the stairs.

It took her a little more than usual to come out, and after she hang the phone, instead of going upstairs where Lucy was waiting for her doing homework, she went to the kitchen and watched Judy cook for a little bit. But the tears kept building behind her eyes, and when Judy took a big dead chicken from the freezer, Rachel stood up and went to her place of comfort.

That's where Lucy found her an hour later.

Lucy's first memory of Rachel was that of the sleeping girl in her father's arms, and him telling her and Frannie that Rachel would stay with them for a few days.

But the freshest memory of her was one that would be always clear in her mind for years to come: Rachel, huddled on the big leather couch on the corner of her father's office between bookshelves, with old headphones too big for her head plugged to the record player and her face hidden behind a book, only her shiny brown hair peeking out; her long, skinny, tanned legs bent over the couch, feet never socked, even in the cruelest of winters.

It took Lucy a while to figure out where Rachel was when she seemed to be nowhere inside the house. She'd never thought of her father's study because she almost never went in there, afraid of disturbing him while he worked. But she figured out soon enough that sometimes, Rachel missed her dads, missed her home, and wanted to be alone. So that's where she went, to hide in herself in a corner where no one would see her while Russell poured over law books and excessive paperwork.

When Lucy went in that day, after politely knocking the door and being allowed to go inside, Rachel wasn't reading any book. She was curled up on the couch with the old big headphones, eyes closed and feet moving to the rhythm. It was a Barbra record, and Lucy was impressed with the strength Rachel showed at not singing along, because she never seemed to be able to help it.

Russell found her eyes from his desk and motioned with a finger to his lips for her not to disturb Rachel. She looked at her friend and then at her father again, hesitant, but he smiled lightly and shook his head 'no'.

Sighing, she turned around and walked out, heading to the kitchen to watch her mom and maybe help with the vegetables for Rachel's food. She could cut carrots in the shape of stars… that would surely cheer her up.

Rachel did smile at dinner when she saw them, but Lucy could tell there was something off.

"Is everything okay with your dads?" She asked her when they were up in her room, inside the Space Ship and making shadows with the lantern against the sheet.

"Daddy said they'll be back next week… that the special tests where good and that he can keep going to a hospital here." Rachel answered quietly.

"But that's awesome, isn't it?" Lucy frowned, because Rachel still seemed a little dejected.

"It is; he said maybe he won't have to go to any hospitals in a while after next month."

"Then why are you sad?"

Rachel shrugged one shoulder.

"I dunno, can we… do you want to read me a story? I really want you to."

The dejected tone of her friend's voice made her want to do anything to make it better, and so she nodded. She knew what Rachel needed.

"_Alice in Wonderland_?" Lucy smiled knowingly, and Rachel bounced on her knees while she nodded.

The book was at the foot of the bed, amongst all their favorites. They were too short to reach that far on the huge mattress with their feet while lying down, and so their most precious belongings they would take to space with them lay there.

Lucy crawled to the head of the bed to lie against all the fluffy pillows and Rachel followed, lacing their arms together and resting her head on her shoulder. Lucy was always warm and smelled of vanilla at night, the perfume Judy used for the sheets and the clothes. She had little freckles on her mushy arms that Rachel liked, and the contrasting white of her skin against her own darker skin made a beautiful contrast.

Rachel knew they were very different but very alike at the same time, and that's why they were best friends. She toyed with the cross necklace hanging low on Lucy's neck while she listened to her read. She hoped Lucy didn't notice her silent tears.

* * *

"Happy birthday!"

Lucy opened her eyes in alarm, being startled from her sleep by a scream right on her ear. Rachel's beaming face greeted her, all white teeth and shining eyes with excitement.

"Happy birthday, Lucy Quinn! Come on, wake up! Your mom let me bring you breakfast up here and even let me cook it because she was still asleep! I made you a nutritive, delicious vegan breakfast so it can be the coolest thing you'll eat in your entire year of being eleven!"

"Uh…" Lucy rubbed at her eyes; they stung like it wasn't time to wake up yet. "Thank you, Rachel. What time is it?"

"Six thirty." Rachel answered sheepishly. "I'm sorry! I couldn't contain myself."

Lucy pouted and whined but still sat up against the pillows, keeping still as Rachel settled the breakfast trail on her lap. They both ate quietly for a while, munching on toasts with Rachel's delicious jam that had bits of strawberries in it.

"This is amazing, Rachel. Thanks for making me breakfast." Lucy said finally, once she was fully awake.

"I want your birthday to be special!"

"Mom will be like crazy today." Lucy mumbled.

"Because of your birthday?"

"Because of the _party_. Her sister, my aunt Elaine will be here, and she always drinks a lot and breaks something. And my grandpop, Rhett, he intimidates her and she always wants everything to be perfect for him." Rachel eyes had widened considerably. Lucy shrugged, she was used to it. "Every birthday or Holliday it's the same."

"Didn't you invite anyone from school?" Rachel asked tentatively.

"I don't speak to anyone of them."

"What about that boy Nick you made friends with?"

"_Sort of_ friends, I don't know. Not enough _friends_ to invite him to my party."

Two hours later, nine hours before the party, even Russell was under Judy's thumb and following her every order on how to clean and accommodate the house. Rachel and Lucy had to tidy-up the backyard where they had left several little color balls they had tried to juggle the day before when they heard the door open and close and Judy scream "Frannie!" with delight.

One grinning look at each other and they dropped the balls, running inside the house to the front door where Judy was hugging her eldest daughter tightly.

Frannie had cut her hair short and was really tanned, and she looked suffocated on her mother's embrace. She locked eyes with them through her mother's shoulder and grinned widely.

"Lucy Q., birthday girl!" She screamed with her arms opened wide, and Lucy ran straight towards her, shrieking when her sister picked her up from the ground.

"Fran, put me down, I'm heavy!" She screamed, still with a wide smile on her face.

"Nonsense, you're light as a feather." She joked, and as if to prove her point, she started jumping up and down around the foyer with Lucy in her arms while Rachel cackled, watching them. "You're taller, Lulu." She grinned while she smothered her sister's ruffled hair.

"I passed Rachel." Lucy answered proudly.

"Sleepy!" Frannie grinned, opening her arms for Rachel this time. She ran towards her with a grin and the older girl picked her up as well, Rachel wrapping her legs around her torso and her arms around her neck. "How are you, kiddo?"

"I'm great, how are you? Is college fun or is it hard? I hope you're handling your adult responsibilities."

"Party pooper so fast, huh? It's not even noon, Grumpy." Frannie grinned, putting her on the floor again. "I'm going to leave my bag upstairs and then we can go for ice-cream and to the park and escape mom's _Godzilla_ wrath, okay?"

They both nodded and ran to the back yard to pick up the juggling balls and put them in a box inside the wardrobe under the stairs, coming back to find Frannie waiting for them at the door.

"We'll be back in a little while, Mom!" She screamed on her way out, and they walked hurriedly until they turned a corner. "That was close." Frannie grinned.

Lucy and Rachel seemed unable to stop babbling about nonsensical things the entire time they were away, but Frannie seemed interested and happy, grinning widely every time Lucy raised her voice to be heard over Rachel or covered her mouth to stop her from speaking, giggling all the while.

"Do you think you can keep a secret?" She asked them when they stood up from the swings to go home.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Did you sleep with a teacher?"

"_No_. No! Dammit Sneezy, where did you learn that from?"

Lucy grinned widely and Rachel shrugged.

"Jesus, you're still ten!" Frannie rolled her eyes. "But _this_ is the secret." She grinned, lifting her shirt up and turning around to show them a tattoo of the Sacred Heart on her lower back.

"Well that's not entirely rebellious." Rachel mused.

"Not too badass?" Lucy asked her with a frown.

"I don't think so." Rachel pursed her lips.

"God, you're brats." Frannie mumbled, walking ahead and leaving them behind.

Lucy and Rachel ran after her, giggling like mad.

Judy made them both wear white dresses for the party. They were prohibited on day to day basis because they somehow always found a way to stain them. But deep down, she really didn't mind.

Judy had thought herself a bad mother for some time. Lucy was a good girl and had a kind heart, but she was very closed off since she was a child, and she had never found a way to completely connect with her, to take her out of that shell and into the world, make her run around the house and paint the walls like she was supposed to at four years old instead of coloring and looking at picture books all day.

That all changed when Rachel came. Judy couldn't be any more grateful for the blessing that child was on her daughter, even if it was on hard circumstances for Rachel and her family. Since Rachel and Lucy became friends, Lucy had come alive. She ran around and screamed and laughed, she dressed up and played and just smiled bright. Rachel was a good kid that helped her daughter get out of her shell, and Judy loved her like a daughter of her own.

At seven o'clock, people started arriving. Not ten minutes later all the guests had arrived, punctual and with presents. They all said enthusiastic '_Happy Birthday_'s and politely introduced themselves to Rachel. But after another half an hour, Lucy and Rachel were already bored. The table was full of grown-ups and even Frannie was discussing politics with Aunt Elaine's husband while she drank her third –according to Lucy, fourth from Rachel's opinion– glass of wine.

After an hour, though, they had to reduce themselves to the simplest of entertainments in order of not to fall asleep on the dinner table.

"One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war." They said lowly at the same time, and soon their joined hands were moving everywhere while their elbows tried to take flight. It went for about two minutes until Aunt Elaine set the wine bottle a little too on the edge of the table and their hands accidentally tumbled it over, sending red wine all over their laps.

"Oh, no!" Rachel whined while Lucy covered her face in slight fright and embarrassment.

Another white dress, Judy was going to kill them.

Except Grandpop Rhett's booming laughter ran along the entire dining room and soon everyone joined in, and Lucy slumped in relief while Rachel eyed the old man with a grin.

"Oh girls, that was hilarious. I was getting a little bored, almost fell asleep!" He chortled.

Judy hushed them up the stairs to change, and Rachel went back downstairs in her blue gold star pajamas while Lucy put a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.

Grandpop was sitting alone in the couch, and motioned for them to come closer.

Rachel walked hesitantly towards him and he took both her hands in his.

"I don't think we were properly introduced." He said seriously, voice strong but warm at the same time. He spoke like an old man, Rachel mused, and she was oddly reminded of Santa. "I'm Lucy's grandfather, Russell's dad."

"I'm Rachel Berry, sir, Lucy's best friend. I'm staying in your son's house because my Daddy is sick."

He raised his eyebrows at her, a small smile on his face, and let go of her hands. Rachel moved to sit by Lucy on the couch.

"I'm aware." He smiled. "Is your father better?"

"He is, sir. He and Papa are coming back next week." Rachel bit her lip as soon as those words left her mouth and eyed Mr. Fabray carefully. Sometimes people got upset because she had two dads.

"Well, I'm glad." He patted her hand. "You're very polite, I like that about you. And you know how to have fun as well, so that's a rounded young lady to me." He nodded.

Rachel smiled at him, locking eyes with Lucy and sharing a look.

She found nothing intimidating about Grandpop Rhett, because for the rest of the party he told them stories of the mischief he and his brother did when they were little. Rachel was fascinated by the things people used to do so many years ago, not being able to phantom not having a television or a camera to at least record opening presents on birthdays and things like that.

They were exhausted by the time the guests left and Judy ordered them to go to bed.

Already in their pajamas, they settled under the covers facing each other.

"You know, Grandpop's brother had a sort of husband, like your dads." Lucy smiled.

"Really?" Rachel's eyes widened and she was suddenly a little more awake. "But they're old, how could they have been husbands? My dads aren't husbands in some states."

"What do you mean?" Lucy frowned.

"I mean, in some states people don't like gay people, and so they don't let them marry each other."

"But…" Lucy frowned deeply. "But… why?"

Rachel shrugged.

"Well… Grandpop found out about it when they were, like, already old. When his brother's husband was at the hospital and he was dying."

"That's so sad." Rachel whispered.

"Yeah, Dad told me about it because Grandpop doesn't really talk about that. It makes him sad."

Rachel nodded and they were quiet for a while.

"Lucy… it's past twelve. It's not your birthday anymore."

"Yeah."

"Did you have fun today?" Rachel asked softly.

"I did. It was amazing."

"And did you like the breakfast I made you?"

"Of course, it was delicious."

"Okay…" Rachel whispered and sighed. "I have to tell you something."

"Okay…" Lucy nodded when everything went silent for a while.

"Daddy and Papa come back next week."

"Yeah."

"And… Daddy needs to go to the hospital here one more time, and then he doesn't have to go anymore."

"That's great." Lucy gasped.

"Well… after he does, and… after I finish school this month… we…"

"Are you okay?" Lucy sat up, frowning. "What's wrong?"

Rachel sat up as well, facing her, knees touching.

"We're moving." She mumbled.

Lucy's eyebrow shot up and her eyes widened.

"Just from the neighborhood, right?"

"No…" Rachel sniffed. "We're moving town."

Lucy bit her lip, but otherwise kept quiet.

"To this place called Lima. It's still in Ohio."

"Forever?" Lucy whispered after a minute.

"I guess." Rachel shrugged, sniffling.

"But… why?" Lucy whispered dejectedly.

"Daddy can start working again, and his company is opening another branch in Lima, so they asked him to move. And Papa will work with your Dad from there, so they can have more jobs."

Lucy nodded, lower lip trembling. She flopped down on the bed to rest her head on Rachel's lap and the brunette started stroking her hair.

"I didn't want to tell you before because you'd be sad for your birthday, and I didn't tell you on your birthday because I didn't want to ruin it." Lucy nodded, turning her head to press her face onto Rachel's stomach and shaking with silent tears. Rachel wiped her own with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry. When I said I wanted to go home I didn't mean like going away." She sobbed.

Lucy wrapped her arms around her torso and looked up.

"It's not your fault." She sniffled. "We can… talk on the phone, I'll make Mom buy me a computer and we'll talk there, on the camera."

"Okay…" Rachel sighed, wiping more tears.

"You made me have the best birthday." Lucy smiled softly, although it looked a little sad.

"I have your present." Rachel beamed. She sneaked her hand under the collar of her pajamas and got out a thin silver chain, with a ring hanging from it. "When my Dads realized they loved each other, my Papa gave this ring to my Daddy to promise they'll be together forever." She took it out of her neck and rested it on Lucy's hand. "You're my best friend." She stated. "I want you to have it so you'll remember that we'll always be friends." Lucy grinned. "Even if we're apart for now."

Lucy sat up and put the ring between them at level with their eyes, it swayed and turned and caught the lights of the Space Ship.

"Are you sure?" She whispered at last.

Rachel smiled and nodded.

"Happy birthday, Lu."


	3. Distant Planets

Rachel dug her toes into the carpet, staring at the yellow ceiling as she listened to Ella and Louis, far away. _No, no, they can't take that away from me._ Her door was open, always open so she could hear her fathers downstairs, banging pans together as they made dinner, laughing at the TV, dancing to music. She wanted to feel them there, at home with her.

"Are you still there?" Lucy's voice came from the other side of the phone.

Rachel already missed holding her hand.

"Dads are making dinner." Rachel sighed, turning her head to the side and balancing the phone on top of her ear.

"Have they already called you?"

"No, not yet."

"I'm nervous about tomorrow." Lucy mumbled, and the music on her side of the phone stopped.

"I am, too. At least you'll know the people there."

"It's not like they're my friends." Lucy sighed.

"What about Nick?"

"He talked to me in class, but… I don't know. I'll still be alone."

"You should try to make more friends. There's bound to be new people in middle school, right?"

"Maybe… You know, mom singed me up for ballet."

"She did? That's amazing! I wish we could go together, I could teach you." Rachel beamed, then sighed. "I'll start again here, next weekend. I really wish…"

"Yeah, me too."

"Maybe you'll make friends on ballet?"

"It's a possibility."

"_Rachel, dinner!"_ Hiram screamed from downstairs.

Lucy giggled.

"I heard all the way from here."

"Sure you did." Rachel rolled her eyes, but with a smile on her face. "Hold your head high, Lu."

"I will." Lucy promised. "And you'll make friends, Rachel. There has to be someone smart enough in Lima to appreciate the good."

"I'm sure there is. I just wish it was you."

"_Rachel, honey, put the phone down and come downstairs!" _

"I wish it was you as well."

* * *

Rachel stared up at the Lima West Middle School sign, clutching a strand of her back pack. She could do this. _Just go inside_. She told herself. Thoughts of Lucy on her first day flooded her mind.

_Is she just as nervous? Did she already go inside? Is she in class now? Has someone made fun of her already?_

She clenched her jaw and pulled her back pack straighter. She held her head high.

The hallways were pristine and shining. What she could see of them, anyway. There were kids walking around, already talking to each other, laughing and hugging, sharing summer stories and pointing at new haircuts. She was an outsider here, but that was fine. She didn't care about all these people, there were meant to be only a few people that stood up against this crowd. She knew she was one of them.

Her locker smelled like animal tested products and shined blue steel immaculate. None of this would last; everything would be dirty by the end of the day.

Rachel sighed, she already had her class sheet and she saved it on her binder. She didn't want anything personal at her locker, or anywhere, really. She didn't belong here. She belonged sitting on a desk with Lucy, miles from where she stood. They were finally going to go to the same school, and be that kind of girls that were inseparable. They would be _Lucy and Rachel_ wherever they went.

Except she was here, alone and already bored.

There were two girls on the desk behind her. The teacher had already given them something to do and busied himself throwing a ball up and down, not paying the slightest attention to everyone speaking to each other. The two girls were babbling and giggling and Rachel couldn't concentrate. They weren't annoying, they made her jealous. She turned sideways a little in her seat and peeked at them. The blonde one caught her eye and beamed.

"I like your unicorn sweater." She stated happily.

Rachel sat up straighter at being caught and smiled politely.

"It's a white horse." She corrected.

The blonde girl narrowed her big blue eyes and tilted her head.

"No, it's a unicorn."

"It's a unicorn." The girl next to her declared.

Rachel took a look at her menacing eyes and her dirty jean jacket and shrugged.

"Maybe it is." She stated confidently. "Do you like unicorns?" She smiled at the blonde girl.

"Duh." The girl smiled. "I'm, like, a unicorn, you know?"

Rachel grinned.

This girl could be a unicorn. She reminded her of rainbows. The other girl was eyeing her skeptically, pretending to pick at her black polished nails.

"What do unicorns eat?" Rachel asked curiously.

"Rainbows!" The blonde grinned. "Don't they, San?" She looked at the other girl excitedly. She shrugged.

Rachel definitely liked this girl.

"I'm Rachel Berry." She grinned, stretching her hand.

The blonde girl eyed it with an amused smile, but took it.

"We're Brittany and Santana." Brittany beamed.

Rachel felt a little pang in her chest.

_Brittany and Santana._

"So if you're the unicorn, what is she?" Rachel smiled.

* * *

Rachel had her own lunch, and Brittany insisted that she'd eat with them. Rachel agreed because, well, she liked these girls. She had a feeling they were smarter than the rest, that there was something more about them.

She followed them to what she thought was going to be the cafeteria, but Brittany just pulled money from Santana's pocket and got all sorts of candy from a vending machine. Rachel didn't know they were even allowed inside school. Then they walked outside the doors, crossed the field, and got under the bleachers. It was dirty and muddy there, and Santana pulled out her jean jacket to sit on, Rachel thought, until she propped down on a piece of grass between the mud and Brittany sat down gingerly on her jacket.

Rachel smiled.

"I can scoot over for you." Brittany beamed, and moved aside to make room for her.

Santana pursed her lips.

"Are you sure that's a proper lunch?" Rachel asked hesitantly.

"And what the hell is that you're eating?" Santana eyed it suspiciously.

"It's vegan food, my dads, they –"

"Dads?" Brittany chimed in.

"I have two fathers. No mother." Rachel announced with her head high. "It's that a problem?"

"That must be super fun." Brittany raised her eyebrows, grinning. "Dads are really fun, right?"

"They're fun." Rachel smiled timidly.

"But how did they _make_ you?" Santana frowned. "I mean –"

"They used a surrogate." When they both frowned, Rachel took a deep breath and elaborated. "They searched a woman based on looks and IQ and she… leased them her belly to have me."

"Your family is so cool." Brittany mumbled while chewing some chips. "My parents are veterinarians, they cure animals and stuff. I have three kittens, a dog, and a duck in my house right now."

"That's great, I don't have any pets. What about your family?" Rachel looked at Santana.

Brittany kind of deflated and Santana shrugged.

"I don't have any pets either." She mumbled. Getting up quickly, she rummaged through one of her pockets on the side of the jacket Brittany was sitting on and got out a pack of cigarettes.

Rachel watched, wide-eyed, as she lit one on their faces and moved to lean against the side of the bleachers, resting a sole of her boot against the structure. She seemed so… cool. Even if smoking was unhealthy and disgusting, Rachel could admit it appealed to the artistic side of her. Santana reminded her of Mathilda, from one of Frannie's favorite movies.

Brittany turned to her, smiling, and asked her about all the other classes she had, and they talked like they knew each other from years instead of hours.

Rachel was lucky to find two great girls on her first day, and she wondered how Lucy was doing.

* * *

"And so then Santana told this girl to… _fuck off_." Rachel whispered the insult. "And everyone was gaping at us, like Santana was some hero, and today I _swear_ she turned the corner when she saw us approach."

"That sounds… awesome." Lucy widened her eyes as she said it, as it somehow would make it more believable. She was happy for Rachel; that she had friends that stood up against bullies just like Rachel herself did… but maybe she wanted a friend like that on her side of the phone. Things weren't so great on her school.

"So how is Nick?" Rachel sounded happy and interested, and so Lucy closed her eyes.

"He's okay. I… we had lunch together today." She lied.

Lucy sneaked her hand inside the front of her dress and snuck out Rachel's ring, fiddling with it and squeezing it inside her palm. Someone had broken into her locker today and spilled soda on her books.

"But are things better over there?" Rachel asked concerned. "You sound… sad."

"Things are… the same." She sighed. "I really wish…"

"Me too." Rachel retorted. "Santana and Brittany are great, but… I miss you. Remember that time your mom made you wear that new white dress and we decided it was a good day for you to show me how to copy that painting in your dad's office so we opened his window and tried to drew it with paint on the back yard, and your white dress ended up blue and orange?"

Lucy's body was practically shaking with laughter when Rachel ended that long sentence.

"Mom never gives up on buying me white dresses."

"You look pretty in them, but they always get stained." Rachel smiled.

"Mmm." Lucy hummed. "Grandpop came over for Daddy's birthday last week and asked me of you. He said the party would have been much funnier with you. " Rachel laughed quietly. "I agreed." Lucy added softly.

"Lu…" She sighed. "When do you get your computer so I can see you?"

"For Christmas."

"That's like, real soon! Right?"

"It is." Lucy beamed. "I'll send you a present on the mail."

"But… I'm Jewish!"

"But I'm Christian." Lucy retorted, getting a grumble from the other side of the phone. "You know what else I'm getting for Christmas?"

"A pony?" Rachel joked.

"Glasses." Lucy mumbled.

"Do you need them?"

"Apparently."

"Are you worried about school?" Rachel asked a moment later.

"I'm dreading it? I already know how I'll look."

"Lucy, you're gorgeous."

"Yeah, well… apparently not to everyone else." She said bitterly. "Maybe to you."

"You are for me." Rachel stated defiantly. "And I don't say things I don't mean, Lucy Quinn."

Lucy sighed.

"I guess… that's everything that matters." She clutched Rachel's ring to her palm tighter.

"Wanna hear some Barbra with me?"

"Okay." Lucy whispered.

* * *

"Rachel! Did you do it? Did you see her?" Brittany dropped her bike on the ground, running towards Rachel with a beaming smile on her face.

Rachel grinned from the school steps and got up, receiving Brittany's crushing bear hug and watching over her shoulder as Santana chained both of their bicycles.

"I saw her." She grinned when the blonde let her go.

"And how did she look?"

"Pretty much the same, but with glasses."

"Who did you see?" Santana asked, joining them and entering the school. Rachel watched her slip her cigarettes box inside her left combat boot.

"Lucy! Remember? Rachel's friend from her old town! She got a computer for Christmas and now they can watch each other on the camera!"

"That's cool." Santana gave Rachel a small smile.

Rachel grinned.

"She looked so happy, I almost cried. I really, really miss her."

"Were you like me and San?" Brittany wondered, absentmindedly slipping her hand onto Santana's coat pocket.

"We _are_."

"You should show us some pictures, then."

"We don't have so much pictures… she doesn't like them. We have videos, but they're all in her house."

"Did you go there a lot?" Santana narrowed her eyes at her.

"Sometimes." Rachel shrugged, lying.

"Rachel, you should totally get a bike and ride with us to school." Brittany stated, hooking her arm trough Rachel's and beaming.

* * *

"Who is that?" Lucy asked as she tried to peek behind Rachel, obviously unable to from the other side of the camera.

"Um… that's Santana." Rachel whispered.

She couldn't _not_ take Lucy's Skype call... It was summer, and Lucy was vacationing in _Spain_, they couldn't talk on the phone every day. Even though today wasn't the greatest moment, she wanted to talk to her friend.

"Are you having a sleepover?"

Rachel smiled sadly at the dejected look her friend was trying to hide.

"It was her birthday today… but she had trouble at her house, so she came here."

"She ran away?" Lucy whispered, wide-eyed.

"Not _away_, just… today. Brittany is at her grandma's house in Tennessee."

"Oh. But is she okay?"

Rachel shrugged one shoulder.

"She fell asleep a while ago." Lucy pursed her lips and Rachel felt the need to change the topic to a lighter one. "So how is Spain?"

"We're on this little town where people speak even funnier than in Barcelona. I think Dad can't wait to get out of here, but Mom loves it." Lucy chuckled. "I think it's one of the greatest places in the world."

"Even greater than New York?" Rachel raised her eyebrows.

"I would never say that to you." Lucy rolled her eyes. "But I sent you pictures, look at your e-mail."

Lucy watched as Rachel fumbled around, hearing the clicks of her mouse and watching the faces she didn't notice she was making, until a wide smile spread on her face and her eyes ignited.

"That is amazing." Rachel breathed. "You take really good pictures, Lucy."

"Maybe when you're a star we can come here on vacations and you can see it for yourself." Lucy mumbled.

"Oh, definitely." Rachel grinned. "And we'll go to Paris at night to watch the Eiffel tower with all the lights, and we can have breakfast with violins playing in the background surrounded with people in berets!"

"I think you watch too many movies." Lucy grinned. "We can go to London and take pictures with the Big Ben, and ride on the Ferris Wheel."

"You'll never be tall enough to go to that game." Santana mumbled from her bed, covering her face with a pillow and turning towards the wall.

"I resent that!" Rachel bellowed over her shoulder.

"What was that?" Lucy frowned.

"Santana was being bitchy." Rachel spat. She covered her mouth when Lucy raised her eyebrow at her. "Sorry, it's sort of contagious, it seems."

"Rach… how is your Daddy?" Lucy breathed out. Her father had told her Leroy hadn't been feeling so well these past few weeks and was contemplating going to the hospital if it didn't get better.

"He has some headaches, but he says it's nothing. Why? Did someone tell you something?"

Lucy watched as Rachel sat straighter in her chair and her shoulders tensed. Biting her lip, she grasped at the ring hanging from her neck and twirled it between her fingers.

"I'm just asking…" She shrugged.

Rachel sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"You're wearing it." She smiled softly.

"I only take it out to take a shower." Lucy smiled in kind, pointing the ring towards the camera so Rachel could see it. "I wish I would have given you something."

"It's not necessary." Rachel beamed, resting her elbow on her desk and her chin in her palm. "You know… you look older."

"I do?" Lucy looked down, as if trying to find something new. "I think I still look the same."

Rachel shook her head.

"Maybe it's the ballet."

"I… went down a size." Lucy blushed as Rachel beamed.

"That's not what I meant." She chuckled. "It's in your face… your eyes…"

"I'm wearing glasses."

"Not sunglasses. I can still see them."

"Okay." Lucy looked down in shyness.

"Sorry." Rachel mumbled, noticing she'd made her friend uncomfortable.

"You still look the same to me." Lucy looked at the camera closer after a minute. "In a good way." She added as an after-thought.

"I'm getting a bike before school starts." Rachel changed the topic, relaxing on her desk chair and pulling her knees against her chest.

"Mom signed me up for gymnastics when we get back home."

"But do you want to?"

Before Lucy could respond, the camera bounced a little and Rachel heard a squeak before another face invaded her monitor.

"Bashful!" Frannie screamed at the monitor. "Look at how much you haven't changed!"

"Hi, Frannie." Rachel grinned, giggling when she heard Santana grunt from behind her.

"How are you?" The older Fabray asked as she pulled Lucy onto her lap on the bed and tilted the computer screen so Rachel could see their faces.

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Awesome, this place is _amazing_. People speak in Catalan and I don't understand what the fuck they're saying but it sounds incredible."

"Fran!" Lucy squeaked again at the expletive.

"You're thirteen, kid. Start swearing." Fran squeezed Lucy's waist and she rolled her eyes.

"I miss you guys." Rachel grinned, watching them bicker and squirm against each other.

"We miss you too, Grumpy. We'll get you presents."

"Frannie has a boyfriend!" Lucy giggled when her sister tried to pull her ponytail.

"You do? It's not a teacher, isn't it?"

"God, what's with you and teachers, Dopey?" Frannie pulled a face. "His name is Chris, and he's a loser who works at UPS."

"Why are you dating him if he's a loser?" Lucy frowned, trying to turn around to look at her sister's face.

"Because he's cute and I love him and he's not _really_ a loser."

"Okay." Lucy smiled, relaxing on her sister's lap.

Frannie raised her eyebrows and smiled at Rachel, who was staring at them silently through the camera.

Rachel grinned at her, feeling accomplice of something between them, although she wasn't sure what.

* * *

"Where are your dads?" Brittany looked around the living room, lifting her head a little from Santana's lap.

"Yeah…" Santana drawled. "We haven't seen them since, like, forever."

Rachel didn't lift her gaze from her coffee table, where she was doing homework.

"They're busy with work." She mumbled around her pencil.

"That homework must be really hard; you've been staring at it for like an hour." Brittany frowned. "Rachel, are you okay?"

"I'll be right back." She answered quickly, not looking at them as she stood up and walked quickly up the stairs.

The phone rang three times before someone picked up.

"_Hello?_"

"Hi, Judy. This is Rachel. Is Lucy home?"

"_Rachel, honey, how are you? Are you okay?_"

"Yes, fine. Is Lucy home, please?"

There was some rustling on the other side.

Rachel heard Lucy's voice and her heart picked up speed.

"I got it! Hang up!" The noise from the other end stopped. "Rachel?"

"Lucy…" Rachel sniffled.

"Hey… what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I…" She hiccupped. "Can we stop pretending now?"

"We can." Lucy whispered, hearing Rachel cry on the other end.

"Daddy's sick again." She mumbled.

"I know, Rach."

"Papa's been at the clinic for the last two weeks. He… comes and showers and buys food, but I… I just can't… I can't go with him… I…" She couldn't swallow her sobs anymore and she cried openly, wishing Lucy was there to hold her.

"Where is Oz, Rach?"

"He's… in the bed."

"Okay, go get him." Lucy whispered.

Rachel tried to dry the tears from her cheeks but they just kept on falling, so she gave up once she had Oz on her hands.

"I've got him." She sobbed.

"Okay, get under the covers for me."

"Done." Rachel whispered once she was engulfed in darkness.

She heard ruffling on the other side and then the distinctive sound of a vinyl starting.

_When you're smiling, when you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you… _

The crying started shaking her body when she heard it, and she clutched her pillow to her chest, squeezing Oz in between.

"Do-do you want me to stop it?" Lucy asked in alarm.

Rachel hadn't heard her stutter in years.

"No!" She cried. "I just wish…"

"I _know_, Rachel. Me too, I swear. _So_ badly."

"It won't be real until I see him." Rachel whispered after a while. They'd been quiet, Rachel listening Lucy's breathing, Lucy hearing as Rachel's sobs died down.

"But… you know it's real now. Rachel… you're strong. You can face anything."

"Do you really think so?"

"I know so."

"Can you pretend you're hugging me?"

Lucy chuckled and Rachel smiled.

"I already am."

Rachel woke up, hours later, with the phone still on and a body on either side of her. The covers weren't up to her head anymore and she could see Brittany and Santana holding onto her, their hands clasped on top of her. The phone marked five hours, and it was still going.

"Lucy?" She whispered. The only thing she could hear was deep breathing on the other side. "Sweet dreams, Lu."

* * *

"Why haven't you been ditching us?" Santana wondered out loud, tying ribbons to Brittany's ponytail with a cigarette dangling from her lips.

"Ditching you?" Rachel looked up, twisting different color shoelaces on Brittany's white trainers.

"To speak with your girlfriend all afternoon." Santana smirked, laughing when Brittany reached behind blindly to swat her arm.

"Lucy's my friend!" Rachel squeaked, red in the face.

"Rach, you're finishing eighth grade and you still haven't made out with someone." Brittany pursed her lips, then sighed. "This uniform is itchy, I hate it."

"One thing has nothing to do with the other." Rachel mumbled, standing up. "I've been busy with ballet and voice lessons and visiting my dad –"

"Hey, you don't get to play the sick parent card on everything, Smurfette."

"You're barely taller than me." Rachel mumbled.

"Whatever. You're gay for Fabray, aren't you?"

"No!" Rachel stomped her foot. "Just because you too –"

"Can it!" Santana bellowed.

"Are you going to start fighting again?" Brittany whined. "Maybe Rach is one of those girls who don't like to kiss around, right Rach?"

"Right."

"And kissing you is pretty gay, San."

"Whatever." Santana mumbled.

"So, do I look good?" Brittany took her pompoms and lifted them in the air, kicking her leg up.

"Like a unicorn." Rachel beamed, at the same time Santana mumbled "_Hot_".

"I don't speak to Lucy on the afternoon anymore. I have ballet and voice lessons and she's got ballet and gymnastics. I call her at night." Rachel finally answered once they started walking towards the field.

"And do you fall asleep on the phone?" Santana blinked coquettishly.

"I hate you." Rachel frowned, trying in vain to keep from blushing.

"Look, San." Brittany said brightly.

When Santana turned her head, Brittany pecked her lips soundly, making her blush. The blonde looked at Rachel and grinned with her tongue caught between her teeth and her eyes twinkling.

The last game before the summer had started and Santana and Rachel sat on the bleachers, watching Brittany cheer one last time for her middle school.

"I'm trying on the Cheerios when we start school." Santana mumbled, never taking her eyes of the field.

"What is that?" Rachel frowned.

"The cheerleaders…" She sighed. "High School is different, you know? No one's going to respect me because I look tough and stand up to people, and sometimes show up with a black eye and tell them I got into a fight."

"Santana…"

"It's okay, Smurf. We'll be on the Cheerios and no one will talk shit about us."

"I won't be on the Cheerios."

"I know, but I got your back. Yours and Brittany's, okay?" She looked pointedly at Rachel. "You're the only ones that matter to me."

"I know." Rachel smiled. She knew better than to hug her friend, because she was pretending to be tough right now and needed her to play along. Rachel could do that. "You two are the only ones that matter to me, too" She stated, and just then her phone buzzed.

"And Lucy." Santana added, already looking ahead.

"Yeah, and Lucy." Rachel smiled.

_School's already over. Be at home next Monday and wait by the phone. I have a surprise for you. _

Her eyebrows rose at Lucy's message and she quickly typed a reply.

_Any clues? _

_Nope. Wait and see! :) _

_Meanie._

_Love you xxxx_

_Love you, Lu :) xx _


	4. The Captain Returns

It was Monday and Rachel was waiting patiently (not) by the phone. She couldn't imagine what kind of surprise would have to wait if it was told by the phone. Perhaps Lucy didn't want to tell her until whatever it was, was confirmed? She guessed she should have asked for a more specific time to wait because it was two in the afternoon and her legs kinda hurt from bouncing. She tried to wiggle her toes instead but it didn't release as much stress as moving her legs. She was never a patient person, especially when it came to Lucy, because everything that came from her was always good.

When the doorbell rang, Rachel jumped and was one second away from picking up the phone when she realized that, _no_, wrong sound.

Getting up from the couch, she stretched her back and eyed the baseball bat leaned next to the door. Her fathers were away to DC for ten days and she was home alone. Standing on her toes and steadying herself with a palm on the door, she peeked through the peephole to see a blur of blonde hair and the outline of a girl.

Beaming, Rachel unchained the door and turned the key, opening the door and waiting for Brittany to beam right back.

It wasn't Brittany at all.

Standing at her doorstep, so much taller and thinner and grown, in a white dress, with blonde hair and perfect white teeth, no braces, biting her lower lip, staring expectantly at her with her hands behind her back… no, it couldn't be…

"Hi Rachel." Lucy's breathy, timid voice spoke.

_Lucy_.

_Her_ Lucy.

In a blur between the utmost desire in her mind and the second it took for the rest of her body to catch up, Rachel flung herself into Lucy's body and both collapsed to the porch's floor, squealing and giggling and squeezing.

Rachel hid her face onto her friend's neck, wrapping both her arms and legs around her body and inhaling the distinctive smell of Lucy's skin. It was a soft perfume that still smelled a little like baby skin and honey.

She felt Lucy squeezing right back, just as strongly, and lifting her back to get both of them to sit up.

"When did you get that strong?" Rachel beamed, centimeters away from Lucy's face and already counting the golden freckles in her eyes. Lucy grinned and Rachel's smile widened impossibly. "Your braces…" She gasped a chuckle, bringing her hand up to cup her friend's cheek. "You look so different."

"You still look the same." Lucy leaned her head to rest her cheek fully against Rachel's hand.

The brunette hid her face in Lucy's neck again, squeezing her tight.

"When did you get here? What are you doing here?"

"Maybe we should go inside."

Rachel nodded, getting up after a few seconds and pulling her friend along. She closed the door with the key and chain again and turned around, somehow expecting it all to be a hallucination. But Lucy was there, standing with her back straight and looking around the foyer.

"I should give you a tour." Rachel beamed. She took Lucy's hand and walked her around the ground floor and downstairs to the basement.

"What is this?" Lucy asked with amazement, eyes wide and bright.

"An Oscar room! We watch the Oscars here every year, obviously, but then we have a stage and a projector and sound system." As she finished speaking she had her friend in her arms again.

"I missed you." Lucy whispered, grinning against the top of her head. They stood there hugging for a little while. "You haven't grown a bit." She chuckled, squeezing tight.

"Let's make smoothies and we can talk." Rachel said at last, taking Lucy's hand and bolting up the stairs.

Lucy looked around Rachel's room, taking in the bright yellow walls and the record player, imagining her friend laying on the carpet and listening to music with her over the phone like they did for many years. She eyed the guitar resting on a corner and looked at Rachel, who was opening the window and moving the tray with both smoothies to the rooftop.

"Do you know how to play?"

"What?" Rachel turned around, looking at Lucy and then to where she was pointing. She blushed. "A little." She bit her lip. "I didn't want to tell you until I could play something for you without making a fool out of myself."

Lucy grinned. She was so changed, Rachel observed, but she still looked like an angel, after all these years.

"I'd still like to hear you play."

"Maybe later." _Or never_, Rachel thought. "Come on." She easily stepped out onto the roof and extended her hand to Lucy, who took it and gingerly stepped outside. "So, gymnastics, huh?" Rachel joked.

"And ballet." Lucy smiled, blushing.

"So… when did you get here?" Rachel asked, unable to contain herself any longer.

"Yesterday…"

"Yesterday?" Rachel repeated incredulously. "And what took you so long to come here?"

"Rachel…" Lucy drawled in that breathy voice of hers that asked for patience. The brunette went silent instantly. "I'm not visiting."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… Daddy's moved his business. Your Papa didn't tell you because… um, well, he wanted it to be a surprise. He didn't want to tell you and then having it not come true and disappoint you."

"Moved business?" Rachel frowned, somehow knowing it was a very easy concept to grasp but still not daring herself to, just yet.

"Jonah, their third partner? He stayed back home, but Daddy moved over here to help your Papa."

"You moved… over here?" Lucy nodded, biting her lip expectantly. "For how long?"

Lucy shrugged.

"Forever?" She asked with a grin and a glint in her eye.

Rachel's smile blossomed slowly across her face and her eyes began to water slowly. She bit her lip to keep it from trembling as her nostrils flared.

"You… you mean… you're here? With… with me? Forever?"

"Yes, I'm here with you forever." Lucy gasped in a breathy laugh.

Rachel flung herself at her again, burying her face in her chest and crying openly. Lucy didn't even wince when the smoothies collapsed on the roof and stained her white dress. She wrapped her arms around her friend, hiding her face in her dark hair and they both cried and laughed at the same time for a while.

Once Rachel calmed down enough and pulled back, she saw Lucy's dress and bit her lip, breaking into hysteric laughter after only a few seconds.

"Another white dress." She snorted. "Judy's going to be glad to have me back."

"I'm already obliged to bring you back home today."

"Okay." Rachel smiled. "Well… are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"I know I've been a little distant these past months, Luce, and you've been busy. It's just… you're really changed, and… I've missed it." She shrugged sadly. "I just want to know what happened."

"Is it… good changed?" Lucy bit her lip shyly, anxiousness clearly shown in her eyes.

"It's good; I mean… you look great. But you looked great _before_. I mean… I've always thought you were… you know."

Lucy bit her lip again, but this time it was around a smile.

"Okay…" She breathed. "I really like ballet and… when Mom inscribed me in gymnastics I discovered I really liked it as well. And… when I started to get thinner, Mom said we should start eating healthier and… then I started using Proactiv." She shrugged.

"And the hair?"

"The hair was actually Frannie's idea. We were playing around and she dyed some strands purple before she –oh yeah, she's getting married."

"What?" Rachel shrieked, getting up to her feet. "Wait a minute; you can throw all that information at me at once!"

"Sorry." Lucy laughed. "I missed your antics up close." She said softly.

Rachel tried to glare, but her lips wouldn't stop stretching into a smile.

"But are you happy?" She questioned quietly. "This is not –do you… feel comfortable? You know, with yourself?"

"I do." Lucy nodded, meeting Rachel's eyes. "You know how hard it was for me to feel comfortable before. And now I feel really good; exercising makes me feel good, I guess. I just really like it."

Rachel grinned contentedly, propping herself down in front of Lucy and taking her hands.

"I'm happy for you, then. I… you should have always felt comfortable with yourself, and I'm sorry you couldn't before. But I'm glad you are, now. I'll always find you just gorgeous… you're my best friend."

Lucy ducked her head, squeezing the hands in hers.

"So… Frannie's getting married?"

"With Chris." Lucy nodded.

"The loser UPS guy?" Rachel raised her eyebrows incredulously.

"He's not really a loser. He's actually kind of cool, and has his own franchise now."

"When are they getting married?"

"Relax, they're just engaged for now. It's going to be one of those long engagements."

"Why?" Rachel's face scrunched up almost in disgust. "That's not romantic at all!"

"They're building their house first." Lucy shrugged.

"I'm sorry about your dress." Rachel bit her lip.

"I'm not wearing it to the wedding." Lucy arched her eyebrow.

Rachel scoffed, shoving her lightly and then pulling her close, hugging her arm and resting her head on her shoulder.

"I can't believe you're actually here." She mumbled after a few minutes of content silence.

"Me neither." Lucy smiled softly, resting her nose on dark hair and inhaling. Rachel smelled like body lotion and sunshine.

"You'll meet Brittany and Santana." Rachel squealed. "We're starting High School together!"

It seemed like Rachel was just realizing what Lucy moving to Lima implied. She kept rambling for over an hour about all the things they'll get to do and everything she had to show her, and Lucy just grinned and nodded along, already feeling at home in Lima, after barely a day.

Rachel closed every window and locked every door in the house before going outside. Lucy's bike was leaned against the front porch railing and she carried it down the steps easily, waiting for Rachel to grab hers from the hollow space under the porch stairs.

"It's only seven blocks!" Rachel squealed once they got to Lucy's house. "Oh my, did you buy the biggest in Lima?" She gasped.

"Pretty much." Lucy chuckled. "We have two guest rooms here now that there's no room that's officially Frannie's, so there's a lot of space. The only room that looks the same is Dad's office; the rest is just kind of a mess still."

"Of course, you moved yesterday." Rachel answered distractedly, trying to see in the space between the curtains for people inside the house.

"Ready?" Lucy smiled.

Rachel bit her lip.

"I don't know why I'm suddenly nervous." She murmured, looking up to find Lucy's hazel eyes staring tenderly at her. "Will you hold my hand?"

"Of course."

Nobody heard the door opening or closing, and they giggled quietly as they tiptoed around the house, eager to see who would be the first to encounter Rachel and how they'll react.

Nobody was in the kitchen, or in the living room packed up with boxes. They were making a turn for the hallway when the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs was heard and they froze. As if on cue, Judy stopped dead in the middle of the stairs before letting out her most unlady-like squeal.

"Rachel!"

Said brunette grinned and blushed as Judy descended quickly to envelope her in a hug.

"Honey, it's been so long! You're really not that taller, you know?" She frowned. "And you're so skinny! We'll have to put a little meat into those bones!" She exclaimed while pinching what little she could of Rachel's bicep. "Now really." She clicked her tongue.

"I swear I eat, Judy; all healthy. Daddy and Papa call me if they're not home to ask me what I had for lunch and dinner and I never lie, I promise." She smiled charmingly.

"Already harassing her?" Russell's deep but amused voice sounded from the end of the hallway, coming out of his office. "Rachel." He smiled and opened his arms.

Rachel ducked her head and moved shyly between them, smiling once his familiar cologne reached her senses. Russell Fabray wasn't a hugger, just for birthdays and Christmas, but this appeared to be a special occasion.

"Lucy Quinn, what happened to your dress?" Judy scolded.

Everything felt strangely familiar really quickly, and after drinking ice-tea with Judy and talking, Rachel and Lucy went up to Lucy's room to unpack some more.

"I'm afraid I'll wake up at any second now." Rachel grinned, pulling Mr. Teddy from a box and holding him at arm's length happily.

"Ever the dramatic one, Ms. Berry."

"When did you get witty all of a sudden?" Rachel grinned, holding her tongue between her teeth.

Lucy smiled and shrugged, fingers absently playing with the ring hanging from her neck. She noticed Rachel watching and ran towards her, tackling her to the bed and hugging her close.

"We'll finally be Lucy and Rachel." Rachel grinned, holding herself on her arms on either side of Lucy's head.

Lucy looked up at her and bit her lip, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Can I be Quinn instead?" She whispered, eyes suddenly shinning.

"Why?" Rachel frowned.

The blonde shrugged.

"I just want to start over, Rachel. Be happy."

Rachel looked at her intently. No hesitation, certainly no stutter. The only thing that hadn't changed a bit since the moment they met where the stunning hazel eyes.

Lucy or Quinn?

Quinn or Lucy?

"Can I still call you whatever I want?"

"Can you call me Quinn at school?" The famous eyebrow made its appearance.

Rachel bit her lip.

_Quinn Fabray. _

It certainly had a force behind it.

Quinn and Rachel. Rachel and Quinn.

"Okay." Rachel nodded, dropping herself on top of her again.

Quinn beamed.

* * *

Rachel entered the room with her usual, brighter than ever, beaming smile. The cover of the DVD made Quinn match her smile tenfold.

"We haven't watched this in a while." Rachel said happily as she set everything up. "All we need is your Mom's popcorn and Frannie complaining about the differences with the book for it to be just like old times."

"Yeah, she still does that." Quinn smiled as the first scene of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe started.

Pre-made popcorn was not their favorite option, but it was what they had. Also vegan gummy bears and sodas. It almost felt like time hadn't passed in the last week they'd enjoyed together since she was here. She hadn't had memories of Rachel's old house to compare because, oddly enough, she didn't know Rachel's old house. Their time had always been spent outside when Rachel was with her dads, and in her old home when Rachel's Daddy was sick. They still hadn't gone back from DC, but Rachel politely declined her invitations of staying over at her home. Quinn figured it was too much like old times, when they were kids, scared and ignorant of what might happen, when they couldn't quite comprehend why Hiram's hair was falling until he was bald.

Rachel's hallway was littered with photographs, and one of the biggest ones was of her and her Papa on either side of Hiram's bed, all sporting their characteristically Berry wide smile, all perfect straight white teeth, surrounded by hospital's Christmas decorations, even though they were Jewish.

The movie was almost ending when the doorbell rang, and Quinn's head snapped up from Rachel's shoulder in shock. She had almost fallen asleep, lulled by the familiar scent of popcorn and Rachel with Narnia as a background. She almost expected to feel braces when she opened her mouth.

"What –"

"It's Brittany and Santana!" Rachel squealed.

Quinn grabbed her wrist just as she was about to run towards the door. Rachel smiled at her panicked expression.

"I told them everything about you." She said encouragingly, except it did almost the opposite thing. "Don't worry, Luce, they already like you." She turned her hand to squeeze Quinn's. "I'll introduce you as Quinn, Brittany will love you and don't pay any attention to Santana, she's a softy at her core. Okay?"

Quinn bit her lip.

"Come on." Rachel pulled her up the couch and didn't let go of her hand until she opened the door and Brittany pulled her up from the ground and twirled her around.

"Hi, Rachel!" She giggled like crazy until she put her down.

Rachel was panting and laughing, and she moved to hug Santana quickly before going back to Quinn's side.

"Guys, this is Quinn! She's moved here and will start High School with us!"

Brittany squealed and moved to hug Quinn with one arm, grinning as if they'd known each other forever.

"I'm so happy for you guys!"

"Quinn as in Lucy?" Santana asked with a frown.

"She prefers Quinn, Santana." Rachel said pointedly.

"We're Brittany and Santana." Brittany stated proudly, pushing Santana's shoulder without subtlety to make her greet Quinn.

Santana glared emptily at Brittany before raising her hand in a lazy wave.

"Hey Quinn." She grumbled.

Quinn bit her lip. These were strangers, but they also were Rachel's friends. She knew some things about them and it wouldn't be so hard to give them a chance. Brittany seemed nice, and Santana seemed to like what Brittany liked, at least according to Rachel. And Rachel was there. It couldn't possibly be bad.

Brittany helped Rachel make cocoa, moving around the kitchen with ease while Santana opened cupboards and the fridge to see what was in them. Quinn thought she heard her murmur something about vegan food in Spanish, which didn't sound like something happy, but she couldn't really understand.

"Shut up, you ate ten of my cookies last week." Rachel spat without turning to look at her.

"Whatever." Santana murmured, and raised herself on her arms to sit on the island.

She didn't really seem like the kind of person Rachel would like as a friend, but Quinn wasn't ready to judge. She looked away, blushing, when Santana caught her staring.

Once they went back to the living room, Brittany chose a Disney movie to put on the DVD. The volume was loud but no one was really paying attention; Santana was painting Brittany's nails and telling her over and over to keep still.

Rachel smiled hesitantly at her.

"Are you having fun?"

"Sure." Quinn breathed. She didn't like meeting new people, and she hoped she didn't come across as hostile.

"I have three new baby kittens, Rach." Brittany quipped while shaking her hand too vigorously to dry the paint. "We should go see them! Do you like kittens, Quinn?"

"Sure."

"Is that all you say?" Santana drawled.

"Sure." Quinn smiled at her. Santana rolled her eyes.

They were riding their bikes to Brittany's house when a boy in a skateboard whistled at them and the other three girls rolled their eyes.

"Aren't you eight years too old for a skateboard, Puckerman?" Santana snickered.

"You dig it, Baby!" He screamed behind them and Quinn cringed.

Who _was_ that douche?

"Who's the new babe?" He drawled right next to her and Quinn couldn't help but grimace.

"None of your business." She answered coldly, and saw Rachel raising her eyebrows, clearly surprised and maybe even amused, at her.

"I like you." He panted from the effort of trying to catch up with the four of them, who wordlessly and telepathically agreed to speed up to lose him. "Tell me your name, future mother of my children."

"God, you got no game, dude." Santana shook her head, getting next to him and pushing him off his board to the ground.

Brittany laughed and Rachel gasped, and Quinn was somewhere between laughing and going to check on him.

"Sorry you had to meet Noah like that." Rachel grinned.

"Who is him?"

"Noah Puckerman. Don't worry; you'll get acquainted with him soon enough, judging by what just happened."

"What do you mean, acquainted?"

"He'll stalk you until you kiss him." Brittany stated matter-of-factly.

"Uh…"

"He followed me around for two weeks last year." Rachel grumbled.

"What about you two?"

"Nah, we kissed him so he didn't follow us."

"Easier." Santana shrugged.

Quinn frowned. She definitely wouldn't do that. That wasn't how things worked for her, but then again, no one had ever offered to kiss her; not when she was Lucy and only had one friend. She wasn't sure Brittany and Santana counted as her friends yet, but they would get there, maybe. Her new appearance was such a contrast to what she'd been all her life that it was still surreal, and she had no way to judge if people now spoke to her because she wasn't so ugly anymore. Rachel was her only certainty.

She still wasn't sure she was used to see what she saw when she looked in the mirror, now. A combination of weight loss, puberty and blonde hair dye made some serious changes to her looks, but she was still the same on the inside. She still felt too odd to make friends or to have boys following her around to kiss her, and she wasn't sure she wanted that, anyway; at least not yet.

Brittany's parents were veterinarians, she was aware of that, but she still didn't expect the way the blonde's house looked. It was an ordinary house on the outside, but the smell of sterile oddly mixed with the smell of animal food reached her as soon as she walked in. The three kittens were in a bunch of pillows and blankets underneath a dresser with its bottom drawer missing so they could fit, and Brittany and Rachel reached out confidently for a kitten each, the blonde cradling it against her chest and the brunette snuggling it to her face. Santana dropped herself down next to the dresser and watched Brittany with an intense look in her eye that made Quinn furrow her eyebrows.

"Isn't it the cutest?" Rachel awed, cradling the baby cat with both hands and stretching them towards Quinn.

Quinn beamed and snuggled next to Rachel to watch the kitten sleep.

* * *

The summer went by in a blur of vegan chocolate drinks and baby animals and bikes, with the return of the Berry men and the good news that they didn't have to leave town for a long while, if ever again.

It was five weeks before school and Quinn was once again staying over at Rachel's, listening to records and reading to each other. It was on the middle of a _The Clipper of the Clouds _chapter when the front door was knocked, followed by another nock and then three consecutive ones. Rachel's face suddenly washed with concern and she bit her lower lip.

"Please act like everything's normal." She whispered, cupping Quinn's cheek and then kissing the other one.

She walked to the door and opened it without checking who was on the other side, despite being past midnight. There was a bike Quinn recognized as Santana's before Santana herself came into view, and Quinn had to bite her lip to keep herself from gasping. Santana's eye was swelling and red, and her white shirt was stained with dirt and blood. People shouldn't wear white clothes, was Quinn's first thought, they always got dirty.

The brunette walked quietly inside, followed by Rachel, and when she came face to face with Quinn, she glared at her, as if she had been the one to hit her, as if daring her to say something.

"Hey Santana." Quinn greeted, the corner of her mouth lifting in a nervous attempt at a nonchalant smile.

"Lucy Q." Santana sneered, but Quinn didn't bite.

She turned to Rachel and saw her slipping her cell phone back into the pocket of her shorts.

They were in the middle of Rachel cleaning Santana's eye, first aid kit laying open in the kitchen island, when the door was knocked once, twice, and then three more times. Brittany didn't wait another second before opening the door and walking straight towards them, the most serious look Quinn had ever seen on her face so far, perhaps the first one ever.

Rachel quietly moved over to the fridge and took out four bottles of Sunny D and moved to the counter, grabbing Quinn by the hand and taking her with her. She handed her a bowl and a bag of chips, a silent instruction. Quinn filled the bowl and turned around, just in time to see Brittany cupping Santana's cheek and kissing her softly on the lips. The bowl almost slipped from her hands. She left it on the island and pulled herself up to sit on the counter, silently watching Rachel arrange snacks like nothing was happening, and trying hard not to look at the other two people in the room. Still, she caught Brittany taking out her hoodie from the corner of her eye and, when she turned around after taking Rachel's trail of sandwiches, Santana's white shirt was discarded on the floor and she had the hoodie on.

By the time the snacks were all devoured and the third Disney movie was on, Santana's eye was blue and she was sleeping quietly with her head on Brittany's lap, much like Rachel was on Quinn's own.

This was a part of their lives Rachel hadn't told her about, maybe because it wasn't her story to tell. Quinn liked to think she understood everything better now, but that would be a lie.

Lima was turning into a place full of the unexpected, as quickly as it felt like home.


	5. The Universe's New Kingdom

"I'm joining the cheerleaders."

Rachel's neck snapped when she turned her head so quickly to look at Quinn. That was… unexpected. Well, maybe not so much, really. Quinn liked sports, and McKinley didn't have an athletic team or girl basketball or anything like that because the entire budget went to the Cheerios. Apparently their coach was a pretty big deal around there, or so Rachel had heard.

"Should I not let you spent time alone with Brittany and Santana again?" She joked.

"They're joining too?"

"Yes, Quinn. Did you not sign up for it yet?" Now Rachel was a little worried. Maybe Quinn had just made this decision and was not aware of the implications of being a Cheerio.

"But… school hasn't started yet." Quinn furrowed her eyebrows.

Oh, no.

"Quinn…" Rachel turned in the couch to face her friend and took her hands. "The Cheerios are royalty at McKinley. It's hard to get in, and the coach is allegedly _insane_. Practice starts one month before school starts and, honey, I'm not sure you can sign up for it now because it starts this Monday."

Quinn's face fell for just a second, and then it was changed by a look of determination Rachel had only seen in her face when Frannie told her she was too young to do something, or too small.

"I have to talk to Brittany and Santana." She stated, getting up from the couch.

"Uh, there's no way." Santana rolled her eyes half an hour later, the four of them at Brittany's back yard.

"What do you mean?" Quinn gritted out, now a little annoyed.

"I mean, there's no way Sylvester is letting you sign up now, at the last minute. When Britts and I went the first day, there was a line all the way to the cafeteria, including the sophomore, junior and senior cheerleaders who had made it to the squad the year before. No one goes on Friday, that's like wanting the Pope's autograph when he's about to board the plane to go back to the Vatican."

"That's offensive, Santana." Quinn spat. "And why would the sign say sign ups were all week if she wasn't expecting girls to show up past Monday?"

She and Rachel had biked by the school on their way to Brittany's and seen the sign on the front doors.

"I don't know." Santana shrugged. "Maybe so she could laugh in those girls faces."

"Well, I don't care." Quinn stood up from the swing, making the chains rattle. "I'm going there now, before the school closes."

Rachel watched, mouth agape, as Quinn marched stiffly to her bike and disappeared all in ten seconds.

Was it really about being athletic? She had never seen Quinn so annoyed and determined before, that wasn't how shy Lucy used to behave. And it wasn't such a big deal, she could do ballet or anything she wanted outside of school; cheerleading wasn't the only option. Rachel knew the arts program at McKinley was nonexistent, and that's why she had signed up for things all outside of school. So why was Quinn so determined in becoming a Cheerio?

Rachel sat down on the swing Quinn vacated and pushed herself backwards, frowning while still staring at the side of the house where Quinn had disappeared. There was something else behind it.

* * *

Quinn's heart started beating wildly once she entered the school. It was her first time inside a high school, and it was to meet with a supposedly insane and incredibly exigent coach. A woman who may possibly held her entire high school future in her hands.

Quinn wanted to be athletic. She wanted to do gymnastics, but there wasn't anything like that at McKinley. But most of all, she wanted to change. She refused to be the friendless, bullied kid again. It would be different, this time, the exact opposite from elementary and middle school. She had Rachel, this time, and Brittany and Santana, but she wanted something else as well. Popularity. Maybe it was vain of her, but it wasn't about having everyone at her feet. Really, it was about not having to be at _anyone's_ feet. Her outside image had changed, but she was already a loser at her old school, and her changes had been progressive, so no one had _really_ noticed, or they just didn't care. No one but Nick, the kid who had been her friend until he found out what a loser she was and didn't speak to her again; the boy who, once she was thin and didn't have braces or pimples, decided he wanted to be friends with her again and get kisses out of it, too. Quinn refused to share her first kiss with someone like that; hell, she refused to even share a desk with him to dissect a frog. She ended up doing it alone, but she didn't care. High school would be different. And with that thought in mind, she knocked on the cheerleading coach's door.

"What?" Someone spat forcefully from the other side.

Quinn hesitated for a moment before opening the door. It wasn't exactly an invitation to come in, but she didn't think the coach would appreciate her shouting.

The office was full of trophies, was the first thing she noticed. A blonde woman was sitting behind a desk, with her feet propped up on it and writing furiously on a notebook, wearing a red Adidas tracksuit.

"Hello, my name is Lu –Quinn Fabray." She said hesitantly after almost sixty seconds of watching the woman and not getting any sort of acknowledgement. Another sixty seconds passed before she spoke again. "I'm here to sign up on the Cheerio's summer training."

An eyebrow arched on the coach's face, and she looked up.

"No." She said, and went back to scribbling furiously.

"B-but… the sign said the whole week was open for –"

"No."

"But –Coach…"

"I am not your coach; you're late, get out of my office."

But Quinn stood there, trying not to tremble and blinking back tears, looking confusedly at the woman.

"You're still here?" Coach Sylvester asked a few minutes later, lifting her gaze and locking her eyes on Quinn. "If you wanted to be a part of my team, you would have come the first day like all the others. I'm not interested in your lateness or your hesitance or laziness or whatever it was that brought you here, what?" She looked at her wristwatch. "One hour before signups ended?"

"I –I didn't know I had to sign up _a month_ before –"

"That's not an excuse. You wanted to be a Cheerio? You should have known. Now get out of my office before your bad dye job damages my cornea."

This time, Quinn didn't hesitate and turned around, leaving the woman's office.

It turned out Rachel and Santana weren't exaggerating when they spoke about coach Sylvester. But that didn't mean Quinn was going to give up.

"So what happened?" Brittany asked as soon as she saw Quinn on her doorstep.

"I signed up." Quinn lied.

"Really? That is so awesome, Quinn!" She bounced and clapped as Quinn entered her house.

"Where are Rachel and Santana?"

"They already left, we didn't think you'd come back."

"Oh." Quinn deflated. "So… should the three of us go together on Monday?"

"Uh…" Brittany furrowed her eyebrows while they walked to the living room and sat on the couch, an enormous fat cat jumping onto Quinn's lap. "We have to be at school at six a.m., it's kind of early to meet before elsewhere, right?"

Quinn tried not to let her shock show on her face.

"Yeah, you're right." She nodded.

Brittany plopped down on the couch, a big sigh deflating her chest.

"Our muscles are going to be _so_ sore, I mean… eight hours of practice? Coach is scary."

_Oh boy_, Quinn panicked. She really didn't know what she had gotten herself into.

"At least I'll be with San. Things are less scary and more bearable with her, you know?"

Quinn nodded, not really paying attention and already getting used to _Brittany and Santana_. Eight hours of practice? What were they going to do, run four hours non-stop?

She prayed the outcome at school would be worth it, and that her plan would work.

* * *

On Monday, at five forty-five, she was standing with ten other cheerleaders outside on the school's field. Coach wasn't there and nor where the rest of the girls, but Quinn wanted to be early. No one really spoke to her, all the girls seemed to be either half-awake or supporting themselves on the side of the bleachers and napping until it was time. The sky was pink and the air was cold, but Quinn felt nothing more than her determination and the fear twisting in her guts.

By the time Sylvester arrived at six o'clock, Santana and Brittany were huddled together for warmth, and everyone seemed to have arrived. All the girls automatically stiffened and seemed wide-awake as soon as the coach entered the field in some small vehicle like a golf cart.

"Start running!" She yelled.

Everyone sprinted towards the running track. The older girls jogged slow and steady and the younger-looking girls were speeding, already completing half a lap in a minute. But Quinn knew better, she wouldn't last three minutes if she ran that fast, and it was probably why it took Sylvester a few minutes to spot her. While she was half-sneering and shaking her head at the running girls, she wasn't paying so much attention at the older ones jogging, and Quinn had a feeling that it was because she knew those girls already and knew they would stay on the squad.

After a girl stopped running for a second to catch her breath and the coach sent her home, to the horror of the younger girls, Coach looked briefly to the group of girls Quinn was running with and her eyes stopped dead at her face.

"You!" She yelled though her bullhorn, sending her a murderous glare.

Trying not to panic, but failing miserably, Quinn ran towards the middle of the field where Sylvester was sitting on her cart.

"What are you doing here?"

Quinn felt her heart hammering in her chest at the tone of her voice.

"Trying out for the cheerleading squad." She answered with fake bravado.

"I thought I told you you _couldn't_."

"I'm here to prove you I can."

"No one disobeys Sue Sylvester's orders. Just ask Ronnie, the old principal. Oh, that's right; you _can't_, because he's in prison in Siberia _because_ he disobeyed me."

Yeah, okay, certifiably insane.

After a minute of Quinn staring mutedly and slightly panicked at Sue, the coach put the bullhorn right at level with her mouth.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Face." She bellowed.

Wide-eyed and nodding like crazy, Quinn turned around and ran. She ran towards the girls she was running with and joined them again.

"That's not what I meant!" Coach Sylvester yelled through her bullhorn again.

Who did she think she was, Ty Pennington? Of course Quinn knew that wasn't what she meant, but she was not going to give up so easily. She'd come to every practice, even if the coach kicked her out physically. That was her plan. She was sticking to it.

An hour later, when Sue yelled at them to start stretching, she yelled at Quinn to keep running. And so Quinn did. Only when the girls were speeding towards the goal post and back did she tell her to stretch, and Quinn felt so much pain all over she couldn't really tell where it did and didn't hurt.

By the time they hit the showers at one, she couldn't stay standing. Quinn sat on the shower floor with her back against the wall and water hitting her hair and didn't think of getting up until half an hour later when Brittany was on the other side, asking if she'd passed out. She thought she would if she had to move an inch, but with great effort, she got up. Even the thought of having to go through it all over again the next day made her want to cry. Her brain was asking her if the early death this would cause her was worth it, and if she was honest to herself, at the moment? It wasn't. But she knew she'd regret it eventually.

Her Dad had driven her to school in the morning, and she didn't know how she was getting home. Seeing Rachel in the passenger seat of Leroy's car was what got her sobbing in the end. The brunette ran to her and wrapped her in her arms.

"What happened, Lucy? What did she do to you?" Rachel asked in a high pitched voice.

"I –I'm…" Quinn hiccupped. "I'm sore, so tired."

"Oh, honey. Come on, let's walk to the car."

Clutching at Rachel's waist for support, Quinn walked to the Berry's car and lay down in the back seat. She saw spots in her vision the whole drive and her legs where stiff when she got out of the car. She thought about asking Rachel for a piggyback up the stairs, but that would probably end in disaster. Once in the brunette's bedroom, Rachel ran back downstairs and got her a water bottle and pills for her aching muscles. Then she closed the binds, turned out the lights, put Snow White on the DVD and they spent the rest of the day laying down, hiding from the sun and the heat and any other noise that wasn't Disney movies and their breathing and occasional laughter. At some point, lying between Rachel's legs with her head against her chest and Rachel's hands combing though her hair while she sang some Disney tune, Quinn fell asleep.

And that routine was, for the rest of the summer, the only thing that kept her alive.

Or, well, at least that's how it felt like.

* * *

Quinn, Brittany and Santana wore the Cheerios uniform for the first day of school. It was the rules that they couldn't wear anything else so they wouldn't mingle with the stinkiness and failure of the rest, according to Sue.

Judy picked Rachel up and drove them to school, and they met Brittany and Santana right in the parking lot.

"Alright, let's do this." Santana nodded.

"It's just going inside, San." Brittany shook her head like they were being silly.

"Just listen to me, okay? Keep your head high, don't look at anyone in the eye, and if they try to speak to you, flip them the bird, okay? Or call me and I'll kick their ass."

"_Flip them the bird_?" Rachel asked amusedly at the same time Brittany shook her head again.

"You're being silly." She smiled at them. "It's okay, guys. Let's go inside."

Rachel felt Quinn nearer and nearer to her as they walked. Their arms were brushing against each other, and their hands bumped as they went up the steps. She was so, so nervous, but Quinn looked _pale_.

"Will you hold my hand?" Rachel whispered as close to her ear as she could reach. She was nervous, but Quinn seemed like she needed it.

The blonde nodded stiffly, and as their fingers linked, Rachel remembered how she had gotten bullied all this time.

"Hold your head high, Luce." She whispered just as they walked through the doors.

It was a school just like any other, except people were much bigger than in Middle school. The halls were already crowded and filled with cheerleaders and guys in varsity jackets. It was intimidating. They got their school map and lockers and the combinations and Rachel nearly squealed when hers was just three lockers away from Quinn's. They were heading for homeroom when one of the jocks got into a kid's way, some red-haired boy with an afro. It stopped the four of them in their tracks because everyone else had stopped to look as well. The jock had a Super Big Gulp in his hand.

"You're a freshman, right?" He asked loudly in the kid's face, and he nodded. "Yeah, you smell like one." The jock smirked. "Welcome to McKinley, loser." He jeered, and then dumped the Big Gulp on the kid's head.

Rachel gasped and felt Santana and Quinn stiffen on either side of her. _What had just happened?_

Apparently, it was a sort of thing in McKinley to bathe losers in soda. They saw it happen to three more kids on the first day, five on the second, and seven on the third. If you were deemed a loser, it was most likely that someone, expectedly a jock, would _slushie_ you, as they called it. No one knew who had started the trend, or when, or why the teachers didn't do anything about it unless it happened right in their faces. The only consolation was that no one slushied a cheerleader, otherwise they undoubtedly would have to face the wrath of one Sue Sylvester. That apparently meant also no detention and no need for hall passes. It was like being royalty. But apart from the new social hierarchy, McKinley High was just like any other school. Underpaid and unqualified teachers, crappy cafeteria food, slightly perverted janitors and a crazy councilor with more problems than any actual student.

What Rachel found most unacceptable of all was the lack of an arts program. There was a Glee Club, but the teacher in charge, Sandy Ryerson, seemed to be slightly biased towards the male population of school, and Rachel gave up half though the first class she attended. Thankfully she had ballet and singing lessons and a brand new elliptical machine to compensate for the poor excuse that the school called gym.

Quinn, Brittany and Santana had Cheerios practice every day, and so Quinn had to forget about gymnastics and ballet, and they still found time to hang out with Rachel outside of school. They were freshman cheerleaders, and although everyone knew to stay out of their way, they weren't very much noticed. The first month was a blessing. A gift of peace and quiet.

Rachel was walking alone towards the bathroom between second and third period on Monday, exactly a month after school had started. No one had ever paid her any mind, and she was content with that. She knew High school was just a rite of passage, and the real moment to be noticed would be later, in New York, where she would need all her presence for school plays and auditions; right now all she wanted was to have a little more time to be a kid, to have her friends. The rest of the school didn't matter, the cheerleaders and the jocks, she wanted nothing to do with them. Well, except for three Cheerios in particular. She felt the ice make contact with her face just when that thought crossed her mind. She wanted nothing to do with the jocks and cheerleaders, and then they threw a soda on her face.

The liquid stung her eyes and found its way into her mouth when she gasped. There was a chorus of laughter and whoever did it screamed at her to watch her step. There were a few seconds of utter astonishment, of disbelief. She wasn't a loser, she'd never been. She had done _nothing_ to that kid. The shame and helplessness crashed into her like a tidal wave, and Rachel felt tears threatening to spill.

"What the fuck?" Santana screamed right next to her, and Rachel tried to open her eyes, but the soda was dripping down her face and they were already burning. "There's nothing to look at, freaks! Move along!" Santana kept screaming while tugging at Rachel's hand.

Rachel followed numbly, they went into a colder room with bright lights that she realized was the bathroom, and when she wiped her eyes and realized no one was there, a sob suddenly left her throat.

"_Hijo de puta, le arrancaría las entrañas y se las haría comer_…" Santana was mumbling in Spanish while she apparently sent a text with her phone, not realizing that Rachel was crying with her face in her hands, not doing anything to clean herself. "I'm gonna set his locker on fire, _le voy a cortar las pelotas_…"

The bathroom door busted open, banging against the wall from the force of the push, and Quinn walked inside with a wild look of disbelief. She didn't ask who did it or what happened, she looked at Rachel and kicked the bathroom door so forcefully it rattled. Then she moved forward to hug Rachel, but the brunette stepped back.

"Y-your uniform…" She shook her head, sniffling.

"Fuck it, I don't care." Quinn said forcefully.

It worked, because Rachel launched herself to her arms and hid her face on her neck.

"I'll go get her some clothes." Santana grumbled.

"I have some sweatpants and a hoodie in my Cheerios locker." Quinn said over Rachel's head. "You know my combination."

"Yeah, the smurf's birthday."

The door closed behind Santana and Rachel looked up, still in Quinn's arms.

"Why is it my birthday?" She asked with a hint of a smile.

"Mine was too obvious." Quinn shrugged, trying to smile as she brushed sticky hair away from Rachel's face. She pressed her lips to her forehead. "I'm so sorry." She mumbled against it.

"You didn't do it." Rachel frowned.

"Still." Quinn stepped away, moving towards the sink and opening the tab. "Come on."

Sighing, Rachel lowered her head under the water, letting Quinn wash her hair as best as she could. It would look horrible, but at least not in whatever color the slushie was. She could have forgotten this was a bad thing, with the feeling of Quinn's hands moving gently through her hair, if it wasn't for the pain in her back at being bending over like that. She felt a shiver running up her spine when the cold water ran down the sides of her neck.

"Sorry." Quinn mumbled. Her hands felt a little shaky, although she wasn't cold at all. The anger she felt when Santana texted her and when she saw Rachel covered in slushie had gone, now, and she felt an inexplicable urge to run her hands over Rachel's neck. And so she did, and when she bent over to close the tab, she sneaked her arms around Rachel's sides and nuzzled her cheek on the back of her neck. Her heart was thumping inside her whole chest; she straightened with Rachel still in her arms, now resting fully against her with her head against her collarbone.

Santana found them like that. She hesitated for a second with her hand on the door, but Quinn opened her eyes and stretched one hand to grab the towel Santana was holding. She missed the odd look on her friend's face while she dried Rachel's hair.

"I brought you some clothes."

Nodding, Rachel took them from her and went inside a stall to change.

"Is she okay?" Santana whispered.

"We have to do something." Quinn said instead though gritted teeth.

"We'll think of something." Santana nodded.

"And she'll always walk with one of us until we do."

* * *

It only took Quinn and Santana a week to formulate a plan, which Rachel wasn't privy to. What they needed was to have power over kids at school, so they could defend Rachel without anyone denying them or actually laughing in their faces. They needed to be in charge, and that meant only one thing:

Head Cheerleader position.

In a small town as old-fashioned as Lima and in a High school as cliché as McKinley, cheerleaders and jocks could get away with almost anything, they were the most popular, and since the jocks were content just with having people to torment, the cheerleaders dictated who was on and off limits, mostly.

The opportunity arose itself on a rainy Wednesday, when early cheerleading practice was supposed to take place in the school gymnasium. They were changing in the locker rooms when Mandy, the current Head cheerleader, sneaked out from the side door with a little flat metal box. Quinn elbowed Santana in the ribs, making her stagger with her head inside her shirt and her arms trapped upwards.

"What, bit –"

"She's gone." Quinn hissed, yanking Santana's shirt down.

"Right." She nodded. "Well, here I come."

Quinn watched with apprehension as Santana disappeared around a locker in the direction of Coach's office. A minute later, a suspicious looking Sue Sylvester was following a smirking Santana around the lockers and towards the side door from where Mandy had disappeared five minutes ago.

The heady smell that sneaked inside the room when Coach opened the door confirmed without a doubt that face one of their plan had worked. The screaming that came after it was a bonus. Santana appeared less than a minute after with a wicked smile.

Mandy was out of the squad. Phase one had succeeded. She was kind of a bitch, anyway.

Sue made them run twenty more minutes than usual that morning, all the while making speeches though her bullhorn about drug use and teenage pregnancy and homelessness. Apparently, it was all connected. Quinn couldn't give much thought about whatever Coach was saying or about her aching muscles once practice was over. Her legs were bouncing all though homeroom and at English, and Rachel kept giving her odd looks.

"Just ask for a hall pass if you have to pee." She whispered when their teacher turned around to write on the board.

Quinn pressed her lips together to hold her smile and ducked her head.

"It's not that." She whispered back.

Rachel's head snapped down to her book when their teacher looked towards them suspiciously. Quinn chuckled and did the same.

"Is there something wrong?" Rachel whispered when the opportunity presented.

Shaking her head with a smile, Quinn tore a piece of paper from her notebook, scribbled _"Don't worry, I'm fine. You'll see."_, and added a little heart with the letter L for good measure. When their teacher turned around again, she slipped it under Rachel's book. The brunette was smiling when she glanced at her.

After second period, with a nod from Santana as they crossed each other in the hallway, Quinn walked confidently to Sue's office and knocked firmly three times. Taking a deep breath to fake bravado, she opened the door and stepped in.

"Ah, Fabray." Sue nodded, lowering her notebook to her desk and looking at Quinn expectantly.

Quinn took it as a good sign.

"Hello, Coach."

"Spill it out." Sue smirked. It was actually rather scary.

"I want Head cheerleader position." Quinn said as confidently as she could. _Head high, Luce. Back straight, don't blink. _

"See, I knew I'd see you about this today, Q. I reluctantly admit that you impress me. You challenged me since the first day I met you, and it's annoying as hell, and if you were anyone else, you'd be on your way to Timbuktu already, but not you." Sue squinted at her. "You remind me of a young Sue Sylvester, confident and fierce, not taking a no for an answer; although you obviously lack my years of army training and that midget friend of yours makes you a little soft at the edges. See, I have eyes and ears everywhere in this school, and I happen to know a little about this plan of yours with lesbo Lopez." Quinn's eyes widened. "But as I said, I'm reluctantly impressed. Your plan was sloppy and childish, but I know that with you under my wing, I could leave a good mark on you." She dragged her eyes up and down. "You're an impressive beta version, I could train you well. One never knows when the zombie apocalypse may rise, or when those gnomes Schuester keeps hidden in his lesbian hair will come out and attack." Quinn's brow furrowed and she gave up in trying to understand. "Let's see if you can get everyone to listen to you today and do as you order. You're on probation. Now get out of my office."

It took a few seconds for Quinn to understand, and when she did, she tried to contain her smile. She knew Coach would see it as weakness.

"Thank you, Coach, I promise you I'll –"

"Spare me." Sue spat, hitting her palm on her desk. "Show me today at practice, I don't care about your babbling promises."

"Yes, Coach." Quinn nodded, practically running out of the office.

She turned a corner and crashed into Rachel.

"Hey, Quinn! Is everything –oomp."

Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's middle and squeezed, lifting her off the ground with a squeal.

"Everything is great." She gushed, kissing Rachel's cheek soundly. "It'll be better from now on, I promise."

"What are you talking about?" Rachel asked amusedly with a confused smile.

"I'm Head cheerleader." Quinn answered with her eyes trained on Rachel's to make sure she understood. "Well, not officially, yet. But I will be after today's practice."

"What?" Rachel shrieked. "But how did you –? What about –?"

"It doesn't matter." Quinn grinned. "I swear, Rachel, _no one_ will slushie you again."

"Lucy..." Rachel breathed out in awe.

"Save it for tomorrow." Quinn bounced a little on her spot, kissing Rachel's cheek again. "I have to find Santana, see you at lunch!" She sprinted down the hall, missing Rachel's warm cheeks and her look of wonderment.

* * *

It was kind of like a movie, or a cheesy teenage show. Everyone was looking at her and making way for her in the hallway as she walked to her locker the next morning. News traveled fast, and everyone knew how she had made a senior cheerleader cry yesterday at practice, and how Sue had officially made her Head cheerleader with a pat on her back and an approving nod.

Quinn herself wasn't sure how she had done it. It was against everything she knew to be a bitch. But Santana had given her a few tips, and told her to think about Rachel covered in slushie and imagine that the person in front of her had done it. She told her to imagine that whomever she had to scream at was one of the kids that bullied her in Middle school, and Quinn didn't have to think hard to remember one of those moments when someone would put glue on her books or that time a girl put gum on her hair.

She never wanted to be that girl again; the one everyone bullied and made fun of. But more than that, she never wanted Rachel to be that girl. Rachel was an amazing girl, the first friend she'd ever had, the one that told her to stand up for herself and to not be ashamed of herself, all of that when they were nine years old. Rachel had practically changed her world and taught her what it was like to have a friend and have fun and make some mess, and that had liberated her. Rachel was smart, and she was confident and talented, and there was nothing Quinn hated more than to see that confidence beaten and that beaming, charming smile turned into tears. If she had to be a bitch to protect herself and her best friend, so be it. She could do it. It wasn't hard to imagine the kids at this school as her bullies from Middle school when almost every jock and cheerleader in McKinley was a bully as well.

It wasn't until lunch that she had to prove herself. She was at a table with Brittany and Santana, disgustingly sipping at Sue's Master Cleanse and waiting for Rachel when she saw a jock walking towards the lunch line where the brunette was standing. She and Santana sat up straighter and watched him. He made his way towards Rachel and sneaked in front of her on the line. Of course Rachel protested, but he turned his back on her and snickered.

"I'll be right back." Quinn told generally and walked briskly towards Rachel. She had her game face on, she knew it, and as she walked stiffly to the line, heads were turning in her direction and following her with their eyes.

The jock had turned around and was sneering down at Rachel, and Quinn got there just as he was pressing his palm to her shoulder and pushing her back.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Quinn spat, raising her voice so everyone would hear.

"Chill, Fabray. I'm just dealing with a loser here."

It was a good thing that he knew her name, because it meant that he also knew she was Head cheerleader, and he wouldn't laugh at her face when she spoke next.

"_She_ is _not_ a loser." She stated though gritted teeth.

He scoffed and looked down at Rachel's clothes. With a sneer, he tugged on her sweater, but before he could open his mouth with a retort, his face was washed by Sue Sylvester's Master Cleanse.

"Deal with _that_, loser." Quinn spat, grinning a little at Rachel's shocked expression and open mouth. "And don't mess with Rachel." She took the brunette's arm and pulled her closer. "That goes to all of you." She glared to the people on the lunch line.

With a hand on the small of Rachel's back, she guided her to the front of the line, gave her a trail and looked at every single person that was looking at her with the best impression of Santana's face when Rachel took her cigarettes and flushed them down the toilet. She wanted to make sure they understood what she just did, and when every person she looked, looked away, she knew that they did.

"Way to go, Fabray." Santana grinned when they sat on the table.

Rachel was smiling with her head ducked and her cheeks flushed.

After cheerleading practice that afternoon, Rachel was on the front seat of her Mom's car.

"Hi, Lucy! How was practice?" Her Mom beamed when Quinn climbed into the back seat of the car.

"Mom." Quinn hissed. "Don't call me that here."

"Oh, right." Judy smiled, rolling her eyes. "How was practice, Quinnie?"

"God, that's even worse." Quinn grinned at Rachel, who had climbed over the middle of the car to sit next to her on the back. "It was good, Mom. Thank you for asking."

"I'm not asking to be polite, Quinn. I want to now." Judy chided.

"I ran, I stretched and I practiced a routine." Quinn shrugged. "What I really want to talk about is dinner." She grinned.

"I was going to make a vegetable casserole. It's the perfect day for you to stay for dinner, Rachel."

Quinn shook her head in anticipation of Rachel's answer. Rachel had never stayed for dinner if her dads where home, least for a sleepover. She could hang around her house all afternoon, but always asked her dads to pick her up when they got out of work. Quinn didn't blame her. After all the years being away from her dads because of Leroy's illness, she wanted to make up for lost time. Or perhaps staying at the Fabray house brought up bad memories. Either way, Rachel had never said yes to Judy's constant invitations.

"Okay." Rachel beamed.

"Really?" Quinn asked at the same time as Judy cheered _"Wonderful!"_

"Yes, Quinn." Rachel smiled.

Judy and Russell were all smiles all through dinner, asking Rachel questions about everything to do with school and ballet and even voice lessons, even though they knew nothing about that. It was clear that they were elated that she was staying for dinner after such a long time, and Quinn was sure they thought they had done something wrong, or that it was their fault she didn't during all this time. She didn't blame them, they loved Rachel, but they didn't know her as well as she did.

She thought it was stretching her luck, but she asked anyway.

"Are you staying over? I could borrow you some clothes for tomorrow."

Rachel looked at her for a long minute; Quinn thought she wasn't going to answer.

"Let me tell my dads." She smiled, and Quinn echoed her with a bigger one.

After borrowing some pajamas and putting _The Sound of Music_ on the DVD, Quinn and Rachel snuggled under the blankets to watch the movie. Quinn felt content and warm, and not just because of the comforter, but because Rachel was here with her, watching a movie before sleeping just like old times. After moving to Lima and being with Rachel every day and going to school together, Quinn felt happy again, after such a long time. But it didn't feel _completely_ real until now. They were safe at school, they had friends, and they had each other. It was perhaps better than old times, because now Rachel's dad was healthy, and they had Brittany and Santana, and no one would bully either of them at school.

Everything was dark after the movie was over and she'd turned off the TV and DVD with the remotes. They slid down the bed to rest their heads on the pillows, and Quinn felt Rachel's hand reach for her own.

"Quinn?" She whispered.

The blonde tried to see her face, but she hadn't gotten used to the dark yet.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for what you did today."

Quinn could hear the smile on Rachel's voice.

"I don't want you to go through what I went through. You don't deserve it. No one deserves it." She added as an afterthought.

"I know." Rachel squeezed her hand. "But still, being Head cheerleader is a lot of responsibility, and I know you have good intentions, but if you ever –"

"Stop. Save it." Quinn smiled. "You don't know half the things you did for me, back then when I was lonely and… just sad. I don't feel like I have to make it up to you, but I want to."

"Quinn…"

"I want you to be happy, Rachel. I want _us_ to be happy. Let me do that."

Rachel sighed and scooted closer, wrapping her arm around Quinn's waist.

"Thank you, Lucy." She whispered, stroking her hand along her face and cupping her cheek. She rose on her elbow to kiss it softly and then snuggled up to her.

Quinn's breath caught in her throat, and she released it shakily as to not make any noise. Her heart was beating wildly, and she wasn't sure why. She hoped Rachel didn't notice.

Rachel did.


	6. Are You on Board?

Super early update!

I had a serious fight with my brain while writing this chapter –it wanted to take a vacation, we nearly broke up our twenty year relationship. The denouement of this chapter is powered by _Sigur Rós_; otherwise this would have taken twice as long.

* * *

There were some things, or a lot, people didn't know about Santana Lopez. An example was, even at fourteen years old, she had an _awesome_ gaydar. Sure, she couldn't tell for sure what her sexuality was, and she may had been exceptionally confused about her feelings for her best friend, but she still could tell when people had the hots for each other, or when something was cooking in their little hormones.

Quinn and Rachel had started acting odd. Or well, odder than usual.

She had always thought about their behavior as a little strange towards each other; they were a little more patient with each other, a little more understanding, a little more affectionate, definitely touchier. They knew each other since they were little, sure, so they were best friends and knew the other better than anyone else. Santana didn't envy them; she had the same relationship with Brittany. And that was the thing; they behaved _a lot_ like her and Brittany. And Santana liked to kiss Brittany on the lips, and maybe grope her a little while they made out in bed, and Brittany's legs just did _something_ to her, low in her stomach.

Quinn was hard to figure out. She didn't really talk a lot about things, mainly school stuff and Rachel, because that was all they seemed to have in common. She was quiet, and when there was nothing to do, instead of gossiping with them or messing around in class, she read. But Santana knew it was different with Rachel; they didn't seem to spend any time together without talking. About what, she didn't know. Quinn had always looked at Rachel, and spoke to Rachel, in a different way. But Santana hadn't seen her interact with anyone else that knew her from before. Before being in her old town, and when she was called Lucy. Santana didn't forget about that, as much as she was sure Quinn wished she would. There was no easy way to figure Quinn out, she knew because she tried. She also knew how much Rachel meant to Quinn, because she saw the blonde handle her fears and shyness to become Head cheerleader, all to protect Rachel. And it was no easy job, because it wasn't something that was done and done with; Quinn would have to be tough and face people for years, now, so they would respect her. Santana knew it was hard, because she'd been acting like that all her life, but their situations were different: while Quinn did it to protect Rachel and be safe at school, Santana had to be tough to face bigger things, and to not let people figure her out so easily, so they wouldn't see how much weaker she really was.

Rachel, on the other hand, was like an open book. Since the day they met she had been telling Santana personal things. The only secret she'd ever kept was her father's illness. And so Santana could tell that something had shifted a little in Rachel. She was more clumsy and distracted, and mostly around Quinn. It wasn't hard to put two and two together. She only had to pay attention to the way Rachel looked at Quinn when she wasn't looking. It was not _that_ big of a surprise; since the moment they met, Rachel talked about Lucy with a look in her eye like she would have while talking about Barbra or Patti or Amy Adams. Santana had always known Rachel loved Lucy, but maybe Rachel hadn't realized until now just how much.

Maybe it was time for some girl talk.

"'Sup, Smurfette."

"Hello, incredibly rude person." Rachel frowned while rummaging through her locker.

"So, I feel a little abandoned lately." Santana faked-pouted, and watched with internal amusement how Rachel turned her head sharply to look at her, squinting to try and tell if she was being serious or teasing.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you know, we haven't hanged out alone since Lucy Q. came to town." She shrugged.

"Don't call her that." Rachel glared, which wasn't very effective in Santana's not so humble opinion. "I didn't realize you were getting jealous." She smirked.

"Not _jealous_… nostalgic." Santana shrugged one shoulder, and then formed her best cheeky grin. "How about today? I know there's no ballet or voice lesson and Britt's got a dance class."

"Ah, so we don't have to ditch her like we will Quinn, because somehow that's completely different."

"Q will be fine." Santana rolled her eyes. "So, what'd you say?"

"If we _have_ to." Rachel faked annoyance, but it lasted two seconds before she threw herself onto her friend and wrapped her arms around her neck.

"Why do you always hug like the tall person?" Santana grumbled.

"Shut it, you're barely taller than me anyway."

"She's got ego to make up for that." Quinn said, suddenly next to them.

"Shorty here's got plenty more than me." Santana raised her eyebrows.

"No, that's _talent_." Quinn smiled at Rachel.

Santana saw Rachel blush and shyly extend her hand to wrap around Quinn's wrist. The blonde tugged her arm back to bring Rachel closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and Rachel rested her head on her collarbone. Santana pressed her lips together when she saw Rachel's contented expression and a rare peacefulness on Quinn's features.

"Coach wants me to spend all afternoon with her to, and I quote: _transform our routine into a bright masterpiece that will melt Schuester's hair gel_." She scrunched up her nose. "I don't know why she hates him so much."

"Probably because he knows _shit_ about Spanish." Santana rolled her eyes.

"That's why _you_ hate him." Rachel said amusedly.

"Wait, does that mean there's Cheerios practice today?" Santana whined.

"No. Luckily for you, the strategy planners are just her and miserable me."

"Good, so we don't really have to ditch you in the end!" Santana grinned. "I'll let you two love birds alone, gotta find Britt-Britt."

"Ditch me?" Quinn frowned, stepping away from Rachel to look at her face.

"Santana wants to spend time alone with me." Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Doesn't that sound like a trap? Should I be worried?" Quinn teased.

"Well, now that you mention it…" Rachel trailed off, walking alongside Quinn to History class. "You should probably text me once in a while, just to make sure." She grinned.

* * *

"Don't you have the chocolate chip cookies?" Santana grumbled, staring at the plate of raisin cookies on Rachel's table.

"We're out of those, Daddy loves them."

"These are so deceiving." Santana glared at them. "You think they're chocolate chip, and then… _saben a cartón_."

"They do not taste like cardboard." Rachel rolled her eyes. "Don't eat them, then."

Santana shrugged and shoved half a cookie into her mouth. Then she made a face as she swallowed it.

"I shouldn't have told you they're vegan; you would have liked them if I didn't."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Santana grinned, tossing the other half of the cookie onto the plate and leaning back against the couch cushions. "So how's your Dad?"

Rachel, who was wearing an annoyed expression at her friend's antics, softened at the question and smiled.

"He's really good, thank you. He has to take some tests in a few weeks, but they're just a precaution."

"Awesome." Santana grinned. She waited a few seconds to see Rachel happy and then hid her snicker. "And how's your boo?"

Rachel's face reddened.

"W-what? Who are you talking –?"

"Lucy Q!" Santana grinned.

"I told you not to call her that." Rachel slapped her hand on the couch's arm rest. "And she's not my –my…"

"I see you two making puppy eyes at each other."

"You do not!"

"Q was watching you all the time the other day you wore that short skirt." Santana smirked.

"What? She was?" Rachel sat up straighter, and then glared after a few seconds. "_Shut up_, Santana."

"So you care if she's checking you out."

"I shouldn't. I don't."

Santana's smirk deepened, she stared at Rachel for a long minute until the brunette dropped her head between her arms.

"Are you hot for Q?" Santana grinned.

"Please don't say things like that, I don't even know what that _means_." Rachel hissed.

"Okay, you have butterflies in your stomach, then." She rolled her eyes.

"No." Rachel pouted. "She's my friend! She's my _best_ friend!"

"Ouch." Santana clutched at her chest, scrunching up her face. "So what?"

"_So what_?" Rachel shrieked. "I should not –I can't have… not for _Lucy_."

Santana was about to make another joke when she saw tears in her friend's eyes. Well shit, she knew when to draw the line.

"Hey…" She sighed, moving across the table between them to sit next to Rachel on the couch. "Is it because she's, you know…"

"She's my best friend." Rachel shook her head. "I don't want to… ruin that, or…"

"Remember last weekend, when Britt's mom drove us to the skating rink?"

Rachel frowned, put-out by the random question, but nodded nonetheless.

"You were singing that song that was on the radio…"

"_Dream a little dream of me_." Rachel smiled.

"You should have seen her face."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, Rachel. She had this _look_, like you were the fucking Sun or something."

"We used to listen to that song when we were little." Rachel waved her hand around dismissively.

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

"Santana María –"

"Don't you fucking call me –"

"Stop being so crude, then!"

They were standing, face millimeters apart and glaring at each other. Rachel sighed.

"Whatever feelings… I may or may not have… for Quinn… they don't matter, okay?"

"Why not?" Santana whined, sounding terrifyingly like Brittany.

"_Because_… we're friends; she doesn't feel anything but friendship towards me."

"And what if she _does_ feel more?"

"She doesn't. And even if she did, it'll ruin everything in the end. We'll break up and never want to see each other again and I _don't_ want to lose her."

"You don't fight, ever." Santana said grumpily. "You'll be like… disgustingly cute."

Rachel smiled shyly despite of herself.

"It'll never happen." She said softly anyway.

Sulking, Santana dropped herself onto the couch and propped her feet on the table. Rachel sat primly, tucking her skirt and smiling at her friend.

"There may be… something more important I wanted to tell you." Santana mumbled after a while.

"What is it?" Rachel raised her eyebrows curiously.

"It's my Dad." Santana watched her friend's face turn somber and the corner of her lips turn downwards. She felt a pang of happiness because it was obvious that Rachel cared. "He said… I didn't want to jinx it, you know? But he was searching for a lawyer yesterday, so I thought… and I know it may not mean anything –"

"What is it, San?"

"He's leaving my Mom. Kicking her out, he said."

Rachel's jaw seemed to dislocate, and her eyes opened wide.

"I don't want to get my hopes up." Santana shook her head, even as she knew that it was too late.

"No, of course; I understand." Rachel nodded. "But you know my Papa and Quinn's dad have a small firm, you could give your dad their number…"

"Yeah…"

Rachel bit her lip, obviously containing a smile.

"I really hope –"

"I know."

Thankfully, Rachel grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, creating an obvious and useless distraction from the heaviness of the moment. Santana appreciated the effort her friend made to keep quiet; it was in Rachel's nature to talk about everything in great length and details. She guessed there was nothing much to talk about, either way. Her dad promised to leave her mom, it wasn't the first time. Just like it wasn't the last time every time her mom swore she wouldn't lose her temper and hit her again. She didn't know if this time would be different, but she couldn't stop herself from hoping.

* * *

Rachel knew she didn't deserve it. _It_, whatever it was. Things had never been easy, not since she was nine years old, and in those times, she'd found comfort in a new friend and a safe haven they'd created together. Even now, with her Daddy getting his health back and with things going well at school, Lucy was the best thing Rachel had, not apart from her family because she _was_ family.

So why did things had to be always hard?

Rachel loved Lucy. They were best friends, almost sisters. She was not having sisterly feelings these days. Rachel had always known Lucy was gorgeous, since they were little, and she had always told her so, every time left with the feeling Lucy didn't _really_ believe her. And it wasn't because Lucy looked different, because she was _Quinn_ now, that Rachel had started feeling different. She didn't know _why_ it was, she only knew that it wasn't fair. Her presence made her a little nervous now, mostly because every time they were close she couldn't help but reach out; stroke her hair, take her hand, link their arms, kiss her cheek… they'd always been affectionate, but now she was afraid Quinn would just know that her touch was different, even if maybe it wasn't.

Just the other day, Santana had bumped into Quinn and sent her stumbling onto Rachel's lap. Quinn had gotten up as if it had burned, red in the face and stuttering apologies. She knew what Santana was trying to do, but it only made her feel worse; it didn't help her at all.

There was always electricity now, every time they were close. Her hands ached to touch, and her body ached to _be_ touched; she just wanted Quinn to always hold her and kiss her cheek and possibly her lips. It was indescribable how the proximity made her hum and nearly vibrate and made her face feel funny, like she was trying to look unaffected but her expressions wanted to give her away. And the countless times she had daydreamed about Lucy being her first kiss were probably embarrassing.

But it wasn't fair; she didn't want to feel like this. She felt like she was betraying Quinn somehow, tainting their friendship with fantasies about them kissing, when it was clearly not what Quinn wanted. And at the same time, when she was daydreaming or alone at night, just before falling asleep, she couldn't help the warmth and the fuzzy feelings the thought of kissing Lucy evoked.

She wanted the comfort and security of her home and her dads, and every day she was trying to work up the courage to tell them about her feelings, positive that they would understand; sure that they could help. But as her luck had it, her Daddy had to go to DC just in time for the holidays, and she would have to stay with the Fabrays because her parents didn't want her to spend the holiday in hospitals and waiting anxiously with them on a hotel for the results. She tried to tell them that she would be waiting anxiously anywhere, but they insisted that the Fabrays and her best friend would serve as a good distraction. Rachel didn't have the courage to argue against that. Either way, she guessed that Brittany and Santana might help as well.

On the first Sunday of the holidays, the morning her fathers would take the plane, they drove her to Quinn's house with a big duffel bag and her pillow. Rachel secretly hid Oz between the clothes.

Judy was beaming, waiting for them with toasts and coffee, and on a stool by the kitchen island was Quinn, hair a mess and eyes half closed, holding a mug between her hands and staring grumpily through the window.

"Hey." Rachel smiled, dropping her bag next to the wall and trying to ignore the strong beating of her heart.

Quinn pouted pathetically and turned on the stool with her arms open. Rachel stepped between them with a smile and let her friend hug her like a koala, supporting her upper body.

"Are you feeling unwell?" Rachel murmured, breathing the familiar vanilla scent of Quinn's pajamas.

"Mom dragged me out of bed." She answered, sounding like she was drifting off.

"You can go back to bed when my Dads leave."

Quinn perked up at that, letting go of Rachel and rubbing her face.

"I'm so sorry." She said embarrassingly, standing up to greet Hiram and Leroy. "Hello Leroy, Hiram." They both hugged her for a few seconds before accepting Judy's offer of coffee.

Russell appeared after a few minutes with an empty cup of coffee and a stack of papers under his arm.

"Will you quit it? It's seven on a Sunday!" Hiram chuckled as soon as he saw him.

"I'm dealing with that family case, you know…" He glanced at Quinn and Rachel. "I just wanted to go over a few things." He patted Hiram's shoulder and rested his hand on Leroy's for a second. "Everything good?"

"We're all set. We just had this thing we needed to drop off here before we go." Leroy joked.

"Hey!" Rachel protested, glaring when everyone laughed. "I'll still be here when you get back, you know."

"We're counting on it, Gold Star." Leroy stood up, kissing her forehead and Quinn's cheek.

"Don't get any tattoos while we're gone."

"What about piercings?" Russell joked.

"I'll sue you, you know I can." Hiram chuckled, patting Russell's shoulder a little rougher than necessary.

"Boys." Leroy rolled his eyes at Judy.

She hugged him, and then Russell wished him good luck and gave him a hug as well. Rachel bit her lip as her fathers left the kitchen. It would be the first time she'd stay more than a night at the Fabrays in Lima, after so long. Despite all the happiness of her old memories with Lucy, she couldn't help but feel a pang on her chest when she heard the front door close this time. Things had been far from perfect back then, and despite knowing that the circumstances this time were different, she couldn't help the way she felt.

"I think I _will_ sleep some more." Quinn stood up from her stool. "What do you say?"

"Okay." Rachel nodded, appreciating what her friend was doing.

Quinn took her hand and they went up the stairs and into Quinn's room. The bed was unmade but there were no clothes lying around, and Mr. Teddy was resting perched on the headboard of the bed.

"See? No spaceship." Quinn squeezed her hand.

Rachel nodded but otherwise kept silent. She took off her shoes and skirt and slid under the covers, followed by Quinn, who sat up against the headboard instead of lying on the pillows.

"Come here." She said softly, and Rachel moved to rest her head on her lap.

The room was silent and there was no other sound but their breathings. When she looked up, her ring was hanging low from Quinn's neck. She played with it and tried not to cry while Quinn stroked her fingers through her hair. She knew it didn't make sense to be so sad, and yet she couldn't help it.

"_When you're smiling, when you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you…"_

Rachel looked up, biting her lip. It had been a long time since she'd heard Lucy sing.

"_When you're laughing, when you're laughing, the Sun comes shining through_…"

Rachel _did_ crack a smile, then. She burrowed her face on Lucy's stomach and hugged her waist, not realizing she was already falling asleep.

* * *

Her fathers were right, in the end. Being at the Fabray house was a good thing, it brought back the good memories, and after a few days she was used to the idea of spending the holidays away from her parents. She talked to them every day, and her Daddy sounded good, and like they were having fun in spite of the circumstances, so it just wasn't the same as the years before.

Things were not the same, but being with Quinn every day felt just as good. She missed staying up and listening to her read _Alice_ or _Narnia_ or a Jules Verne tale. It was often what lulled her to sleep in those times, but now listening to that beautiful voice recite those beautiful words kept her up, long after Quinn herself had fallen asleep. Rachel felt guilt and warmth all together, and those were things that weren't supposed to mix, like oil and water. But Quinn's hair was soft between her fingers and she was warmer than before, and she breathed more deeply when there was music playing, and those were things Rachel had never noticed before.

She now shared her secret space with Quinn, listening to records snuggled together on Russell's couch in his study. She knew he pretended not to listen but she caught him smiling to himself from time to time when they talked about silly things that happened at school, like listening to that girl Tina faking a stutter in English class; they knew because Quinn used to stutter, and Tina was _so_ faking it. Rachel shared her secret space because she had no reasons to be so sad anymore, it was a good thing.

They were huddled by the fireplace on the morning of Christmas Eve, sharing an Edgar Allan Poe book, because it was what Quinn liked to read on that day, oddly enough, when the doorbell rang. Rachel would have gotten up, but Quinn's legs were resting on her lap and the blonde made no move to get up. Judy appeared on the foyer, dressed in an apron and covered in flour, and she squealed when she opened the door. Rachel and Quinn jumped; it could only mean one thing.

"Frannie!" Quinn squealed, and they walked hurriedly to the front door just in time to grab her when Judy let her go.

Frannie groaned when they squeezed her in a hug together.

"Don't squeeze, I'm old! I'm old!"

"Shut up." Quinn laughed, but they let her go.

"Look at you." Frannie raised her eyebrows, brushing some hair away from Quinn's face. "And look at _you_!" She grinned at Rachel. "I'm not sure I can call you dwarf names anymore!"

"Yes you can." Rachel laughed.

"I'm still taller." Quinn joked.

Rachel rolled her eyes, and just then Chris, Frannie's fiancé walked in.

"Chris, this is Rachel. She's like an annoying cousin."

"Nice to meet you." He smiled, ignoring Rachel's outstretched hand and giving her a brief hug. "Lucy told me all about you."

"Watch it, it's Quinn now." Frannie joked, earning a slap on the arm.

They had no time to chat, because they had to clean and tidy under Judy's command. She told Chris and Rachel that they were guests and didn't have to do anything, but Quinn and Frannie dragged them to help. They were just that cool. By mid afternoon, Quinn was lying face down on the bed, groaning because she had yet to shower and couldn't go to sleep until after midnight. Christmas was an important time for the Fabray family; Rachel knew it even if she never celebrated with them.

At eight o'clock, Aunt Elaine and her husband arrived, and finally Grandpop Rhett a few minutes later. He crushed Rachel in a hug, and was the one that made the most conversation with her during dinner.

Quinn's family was very different from Rachel's, but they acted the same during the holidays, she found out. They talked loudly and laughed even louder and stuffed themselves with Judy's amazing food. It only took Aunt Elaine an hour to get buzzed and another half to break a glass, but thankfully neither Quinn nor Rachel wore white that day. They toasted at midnight and went to the back yard to drink some more, sitting on the deck's couches.

Quinn, however, dragged Rachel further to sit together on the hammock. They were past sodas or non-alcoholic cider now, and Quinn had made them hot chocolate instead. Rachel grabbed the bag of little marshmallows (all vegan for her) and a blanket, discovering that _Pride and Prejudice_ was already waiting for them on the hammock, resting on top of a pillow. Quinn sat down and took the mugs from Rachel, who sat down carefully and draped the blanket over them. The night was very cold, but she didn't feel it on any inch of her skin. The blanket was over them, and the hot cocoa was warming her hands and her insides as she drank, but more importantly, Quinn's breath was on her cheek as she read and the voices and laughter of happy people made their background sound. It was the first time she ever celebrated Christmas, but Rachel believed, felt the palpable magic.

She thought she'd be counting down the days to New Year's, because her dads would be going back home on the first of January, but she was wrong. She didn't know if it was okay or if it was selfish of her not to worry about the tests results, because she had hope that her father would fully recover this time, but it still stung a little every time her dads called and she was laughing or joking around with Quinn and Frannie instead of waiting by the phone.

"I thought you'd be like this when you grew up." Frannie said suddenly one afternoon. They were sitting on the deck, covered with blankets and playing cards. Chris had fallen asleep with his mouth open and Quinn was resting her head on Rachel's chest, sitting between her legs, also on the verge of taking a nap.

"Like what?" She yawned.

"This close… comfortable with each other." Frannie waved her hand in their general direction. "You were so close when you were little; I just knew it wouldn't fade away with time or just because Rachel moved away."

"Well, I sorta like Rachel." Quinn shrugged jokingly. "She's pretty decent."

"Yeah, you're not bad." Rachel rolled her eyes, lightly slapping Quinn's face.

"I mean it, married couple." Frannie glared playfully. Rachel felt a knot in her stomach at the choice of words. "I know you're used to it, and maybe a little young to understand, but the friendship you have is really hard to find."

Rachel bit her lip, looking down at the top of Quinn's head. The roots were a little darker and her hair was a little messy from not combing it all day, and it smelled like jasmine. She knew it would be soft if she ran her fingers through it, and that it would make Quinn sigh and lean further against her. She knew she would feel a lot of things she shouldn't if she did such a thing.

"You scare me when you talk seriously." Quinn joked.

Frannie laughed, but Rachel couldn't help but stare, and she was staring back, an expression she'd seen before but couldn't figure out.

* * *

On New Year's Eve, despite Rachel's expectations to the contrary, things at the Fabray House were calmer. Neither grandpop Rhett nor Aunt Elaine would assist because they didn't have the energy to drive all the way to Lima twice on the span of a week, and they had things to do as to stay with them from Christmas to the New Year.

She woke up to the smell of coffee and toasts and cinnamon, and went downstairs to find Judy making a big breakfast for everyone. She took over toast duty while Judy made scrambled eggs and bacon, with soft Christmas music as background and the heat of the oven to keep them warm. She nearly burned her hand when a pair of arms wrapped around her waist.

"Mom is enslaving you." Quinn murmured, pressing her cheek between Rachel's shoulder blades.

Rachel cursed her telltale heart internally.

"I offered." She answered with a strained voice.

Quinn stood up a little straighter, leaning a little less of her weight on Rachel, and rested her chin on the brunette's shoulder.

"I like mine barely golden, please."

"Smart ass." Rachel smiled. Her breath hitched when Quinn dropped a light kiss to her cheek and rested her hands on her waist.

"Let me, go sit down." Quinn said gently.

"It's okay." Rachel shook her head, breath a little shaky.

Quinn tugged on the fabric of her pajama top and Rachel turned her head, nose an inch away from Quinn's. She looked into hazel eyes, finding them trained on her own, and couldn't help but to gaze lower, at slightly parted pink lips. She could feel Quinn's minty breath…

"I smell burn, girls!" Judy called merrily, her back to them.

Quinn moved away, stealing a toast from the pile on a plate, and Rachel watched as she opened the fridge and took out the Sunny Delight with the toast between her teeth. It took the entirety of breakfast to calm the mad beating of her heart and the slight shake of her hands.

It was something she was sadly getting used to deal with, spending all week snuggled up to Quinn next to the warmth of the fireplace, under a blanket, under the comforter, listening to Quinn read or sharing an iPod and receiving more cheek and forehead kisses than she could handle during a lifetime of unrequited feelings.

They spent the afternoon cuddling on Russell's pleather couch under a blanket, listening to _Ella Fitzgerald's Christmas _and eating crunchy peanut butter from the jar, and then helping Judy with the cooking until it was time to shower and change.

Rachel eyed her white sweater warily. White clothes and Lucy and Rachel weren't things deemed wise to mix, but she really wanted it to be her New Year sweater. She knew it sounded silly, and she also knew she didn't care. Quinn was wearing blue, so maybe her sweater didn't count.

Her fathers called at six, with the heartwarming news that all was well. Rachel ran down the stairs to tell everyone, hugging Chris along the way.

Dinner was exceptionally happy because of the news, and even though it was quieter than Christmas and Rachel didn't have grandpop Rhett to talk to non-stop, the night seemed even happier without the weight of the test results on the back of her mind.

"Everything okay?" Quinn asked.

Rachel had gasped, just coming out of the bathroom and bumping into Quinn who was waiting to get in. The blonde steadied her by grabbing her forearms gently.

"You just startled me." Rachel said breathlessly, nervously. She hated to get like that by the mere presence of Quinn.

"But are you sure you're alright?" Quinn smiled, eyes still concerned. She wasn't letting go of her arms, instead the warmth from her hands was seeping through Rachel's sweater and making her body heat. "I mean, because your Dads are away. I know you've never –"

"It's fine." Rachel smiled softly, looking down shyly at their feet. "Daddy's alright, so I'm alright. It's just a great weight off my shoulders, you know? I don't know what I'd have done if the tests –if it didn't…"

"Hey…" Quinn whispered. Rachel bit her lip, trying to calm her heart before looking up, but her hands were shaking a little and it just wasn't fair that she felt like this when– Quinn kissed her cheek, just when she raised her head. Her lips ended up making contact with the corner of her mouth. "But everything's okay." Quinn said, as if nothing had happened. Rachel was lightheaded, and sure that she was blushing crimson.

"I should –"She gestured shakily, voice an octave higher. "You should go inside –I'll let you…"

She moved away from Quinn's grasp as delicately as she could, and turned to walk hurriedly away.

She didn't want to go to the living room, where everyone was talking and joking and watching the news to see the ball drop, even if it was an hour away. Rachel walked to the kitchen instead, poured herself a glass of water from the sink and sat on a stool on the kitchen island, trying to cool her skin and her heart and everything else inside that was pulsing with confusion and wanting.

She rested her head between her arms, holding back tears, and jumped, startled, when a hand made contact with her lower back a while later.

"What's wrong?" Quinn asked wide-eyed. "You're all… flushed, are you –?"

"I'm fine!" Rachel snapped, pressing her lips together right after, while Quinn frowned.

"Rach…"

"Leave it, Luce." Rachel sighed. "Please, I don't…"

"Did something happen? Did you lie to us about –?"

"No. It's not about that."

"Then what?" Quinn frowned, clearly frustrated and worried. "Is it something you don't want me to know?"

Rachel nodded, feeling the air being stolen from her lungs. Her heart was thumping against her chest.

Quinn looked down, nodding and biting her lip.

"Alright." She kept nodding. "Okay, I… okay." She breathed out.

Feeling the tears threatening to spill and her lower lip tremble, Rachel grasped the edge of the island and slid off her stool. She moved towards the door without looking at Quinn, but made the mistake of turning around. Quinn was standing on the very same spot, arms hanging at her sides and head down. Her hair was tucked behind her left ear, so Rachel could see her profile. She was biting the inside of her lip, frowning. Rachel looked at the skirt of her blue dress, reaching a little lower than mid-thigh and with little white flowers on the bottom. It was that that made her heart beat all the way to her ears and propelled her forward again, to stand in front of Quinn.

"I like you." She whispered.

Quinn looked up, a wrinkle in her brow and a confused little smile.

"I like you, too. I'm glad I haven't been living a lie." She joked.

Rachel closed her eyes tightly at that.

"No, I mean I _like_ you." She explained urgently. She could no longer breath through her nose, her chest was heaving.

Quinn was looking at her, eyes glimmering from side to side. Was that what it was going to take? Rachel reached up, cupping Quinn's right cheek, feeling her hair tickle the back of her hand, and moved forward without taking a step. Their lips brushed, just a little, just for a second, and Quinn jerked back as if the electricity Rachel felt inside her body had shocked her. Rachel didn't know someone could shed tears so quickly, but Quinn's cheeks were full of them, and her eyes were wide.

She opened her mouth to speak –say _anything. I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I didn't mean to. Forget that ever happened._ Nothing came out of her mouth; she just gaped like a drowning fish. She _felt_ like a drowning fish.

"I can't." Quinn whispered brokenly. "I don't –"A whimper left her mouth. "I don't feel the same way." Her voice trembled.

Rachel knew it. She _knew_ it, but that didn't stop her heart from breaking. She was trying to get words out, but she only had strength to try and _breathe_. Tears were suddenly running down her cheeks, no warning whatsoever.

"Please." Quinn gasped. "Rachel, please be my friend? Let's keep –you're my best friend. I don't… Just like we've been this week, I want –"

Rachel covered her face with her hands, taking a composing deep breath and nodding.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't –"

"Don't say it, it's –"Quinn breathed though her mouth, nodding because words wouldn't come out.

There was a minute of silence between them, and the noise of people chatting over the loud TV was muffled, but still there. The kitchen felt dark and oppressive.

"We should wash our faces."

Rachel nodded, walked to the sink and splashed cold water on her face. Then she walked to the back yard door and waited for Quinn to do the same.

No one noticed anything wrong when they walked into the living room, just ten minutes away from a new year. Rachel dropped onto the couch on Frannie's free side, and she hugged her waist and squeezed her tight against her. She didn't smell like Quinn at all, and Rachel borrowed strength from that perfume and the arms that used to hold her sometimes on the swings and rock her when she wanted nothing more than to be with her dads. Frannie didn't stop talking to Chris and Russell, but Rachel felt like she had her undivided attention nonetheless. As long as she didn't lift her head across the bodies that separated her from Quinn and looked at her, she was anchored for a little while longer.

Everyone stood up to grab champagne glasses when the countdown began, and Rachel found herself between Judy and Frannie. But when the ball dropped, the first arms that hugged her were Quinn's. Like when they were little and Rachel was the taller one, Quinn hugged her waist and Rachel rounded her shoulders. The squeeze of Quinn's arms –the look on her face when she barely pulled away to look at her– was something Rachel tried to at least grasp an understatement, but she couldn't. Quinn stilled her face with her palms when she kissed her cheek, and Rachel felt a mixture of good and bad, oil and water.

It was with relief that she went to bed. It wouldn't have been if she wasn't so tired, because she still had to sleep on Quinn's bed, next to Quinn. The exhaustion left her when she got under the covers, laid her head on the mushy pillow. Because Quinn was next to her, still awake, but they were not touching. Quinn's knees were pulled up to her chest and her arms were around her legs, and they might have been in different beds, on different rooms.

She didn't want to cry. Not again.

It took a while for Quinn to fall asleep, but when Rachel was sure she was, she quietly slipped off the bed and grabbed her pillow. The air on the hallway was charged, it was empty but full with the energy of people running around all day and yelling though it. Everything was dark and quiet, and Rachel's ears were buzzing. Russell's study was a little cold. She lay down as best as she could, but the couch wasn't as big as she remembered it when she fell asleep on it as a kid. The light blanket she used mere hours ago with Quinn wasn't enough now, when it was darker and she was alone, without body heat to share. The couch wasn't as comfortable or comforting as she remembered.

With a churn to her heart, Rachel remembered this was the first New Year she'd ever spent away from her dads.

She cried herself to sleep.


	7. Abandon Ship

"I don't want to move at all this summer."

"You'll get sticky if you stay lying down on bed all day."

"I'll roll over from time to time."

"What about going to the bathroom?"

"I'll go when I can't hold it anymore."

"And what about eating?"

"It's hot, I don't feel like eating."

"But you'll die!"

"I'll eat… when I'm already up for the bathroom anyway."

"What if I come to your room and I do _this_?"

"Oh no, Britt please!"

Rachel turned her head to the side from her spot on the couch by the window to see Brittany tickling Santana and making her roll around bed, spreading smacking kisses on her neck. It was nice, seeing them like this. They were so insecure at school, in front of everybody. They held pinkies but flirted with boys; they kissed each other and got into backseats with jocks. Rachel was nearly certain they were having sex… with each other, and with boys.

She didn't understand what the big deal was. Being open about who they were. Kissing boys. Her sigh made her friends, who were already making out on the bed, look at her with concerned eyes. She'd gotten a lot of those looks from them since Christmas break. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Where is that bitch, anyway?" Santana yawned, stretching underneath Brittany and getting her friend's hands' attention when their chests and stomachs pressed together. Rachel looked away.

"She's doing something with her Mom."

It was Santana's turn to roll her eyes.

"If she doesn't want to hang out with us, she could just tell us."

"Why wouldn't she?" Brittany frowned, sitting up on Santana's lap. "We're the most awesome around here."

"Because she's a –"

"Watch it." Rachel said tiredly. Her voice wasn't very loud, but Santana didn't finish her sentence either way.

"It's not because of you." Brittany said seriously. "Because even after you told her, she's been acting like… how was it, San?"

"Like the Sun shines out of your ass." Santana finished, smirking while she cupped Brittany's hips.

"I never said it was my fault." Rachel glared. "I never said she's lying about going out –"

"But you're thinking it." Santana pointed at her. "Don't pretend like –"

"Don't pretend you can read my thoughts."

"Don't start fighting." Brittany warned.

The three looked at each other with narrowed eyes until small smiles spread on their faces.

"Can we not –"

"Yeah." Santana nodded.

Brittany frowned.

"But I want to talk about it." She pouted.

"But I don't. And it's about me, so I win."

"Shut up." Santana glared. Of course she'll flip sides to be on the same as Brittany's.

"Whipped." Rachel murmured, looking away and through the window.

"Bitch." Santana said pointedly, looking at her with meaning.

"But what's wrong with Q, then?" Brittany carried on with the conversation. Rachel sighed, she _wasn't_ going to win.

"Nothing's wrong with her. What do you mean?"

"Well she _said_ she doesn't feel the same way…"

"She doesn't." Rachel sighed, looking grumpy and sad.

"But why is she acting like she's acting, then?"

It took a few seconds for Rachel to understand that sentence.

"She's not avoiding me; in fact, she's going over to my house tonight."

"Thanks for the invite." Santana rolled her eyes.

"You would have said no anyway, to go do… whatever it is you do nowadays." Rachel waved her hand around, scrunching up her nose.

Santana blushed and Brittany grinned.

"We're totally –"Santana thankfully covered her mouth. "San!" Brittany wriggled out of Santana's grasp. "I didn't mean like she's avoiding you, Rach. I mean like she's all up on you."

Rachel opened her mouth in surprise and outrage, looking down at herself as if to actually see Quinn _'all up on her'_.

Santana guffawed as if Rachel's face was the best thing in the world.

"She means…" She gasped with laughter. "God, you're such a prude. She means Q looks at you like she wants to make a shrine and worship you, feed you grapes naked… that kind of stuff."

"I want you to feed me grapes naked." Brittany proclaimed, turning her head urgently towards Santana.

Rachel hid her face in her hands and shook her head.

"She doesn't…" She sighed. "Could you please don't say things like that? Because you have _no idea_ how that makes me feel."

"Horny?" Brittany supplied.

"I mean the Quinn stuff. But I don't want to hear about either of you naked, either."

"Look, I just think maybe she's got –"

"She's straight." Rachel shook her head. "But that has nothing to do with it, we're friends, we've been friends –"

"Since you were nine years old, yadda yadda. But _you_ like her, so why can't she –"

"Because she doesn't! She just doesn't like me, okay?"

"Did she tell you she was straight?" Brittany questioned. She was laying on the bed, head hanging down and hair falling to the carpet.

"No. She _did_ tell me she doesn't feel the same way. How many times are we going to have this conversation?"

"I bet she's never kissed a girl." The blonde mused.

"I think she hasn't kissed a boy, either. But that has nothing to do with it."

"Of course it does." Santana shook her head as if to say 'duh'.

"I kissed boys and girls. I didn't know I liked boys until I kissed one."

Santana looked up and away, swallowing whatever was on the tip of her tongue.

"Rachel hasn't kissed anyone yet." She said instead. "She hasn't kissed Quinn but she knows she likes her."

"Now you're contradicting yourself." Rachel shook her head.

"Anyone?" Brittany's eyes were wide.

"It's not a big deal, B."

"I may have…" Rachel said lowly, looking away.

Santana sat up straighter and Brittany opened her mouth to match her eyes.

"Tell us, you little bitch!"

"Not if you talk like that, Santana." She smiled when her friend huffed. "You know how… um, Noah's teaching me how to play guitar…"

"Ew, no Rachel!" Santana faked gagged.

"He asked if he could kiss me! I just thought… why not, you know?"

"And how was it?" Brittany was bouncing on her legs excitedly.

"It was nice." Rachel shrugged.

Santana narrowed her eyes at her.

"Do you mean that?"

"I don't know." Rachel bit her lip shyly. "It wasn't… what I thought it would be. It wasn't disgusting, but also not… wonderful."

"Did you want to see rainbows? Because I think that only happens if it's g–"

"So you didn't like it." Santana guessed, covering Brittany's mouth lightly with one hand.

"I haven't…" Rachel shrugged. "I haven't got something to compare it with."

"You should totally kiss San."

"Yea –what?" Santana stood up, looking down at Brittany like she was insane.

"Just to see!"

"There's no way." Rachel shook her head.

"Yeah, I don't want to kiss the Smurf."

"I'll do it, then." Brittany said brightly. She stood up from the bed and started walking towards Rachel.

"Don't!" Santana screamed, reaching for the back of the blonde's tank top and tugging her back.

"But she won't know if she doesn't kiss a girl!"

"That doesn't make sense!" Rachel shrieked, now with her back against the wall.

"Fine, but I don't want to watch you kiss Rachel." Santana grumbled. She stomped towards Rachel and pulled her off the wall.

"Wait, this is not –"

"Shut up, Smurfette. This is a privilege."

Rachel stood still, arms raised and with her fists against her chest, eyes tightly shut as Santana grabbed her face gently.

"I won't kill you." Santana said annoyed, but her voice was low.

Rachel's expression relaxed a little. She felt pressure on her lips and hands wrapping around her wrists, moving her arms to the side. Santana held her hands on either side of their bodies and tilted her head, nipping at her lip. Gasping, Rachel opened her mouth and felt Santana's tongue brush against her lips and the tip of her tongue. When a tremble racked through her body, Santana pulled back, making a face.

"This never happened." She growled.

"Let's _never_ do that again." Rachel nodded, breathless.

Brittany was shocked on the bed, looking at them with glassed eyes.

"So how was it?" She whispered in awe.

Rachel scratched the back of her neck, looking uncomfortably towards Santana's direction.

"Say it, Smurf. That's why I did it."

"It was… um, definitely something else."

Santana smirked, flopping down next to Brittany and hugging her waist.

"So you don't like boys!" Brittany exclaimed happily, like Rachel had won a contest.

"I may like one… someday… maybe."

Santana was staring at her, sharing a common secret with her eyes. Rachel couldn't figure out what it was.

When she got home, her Daddy was making dinner. She reminded him that Quinn would be staying over and went upstairs to take a shower. She didn't feel like singing that day. She couldn't help but think about Quinn, and how she _did_ think the blonde was avoiding them sometimes, like today afternoon. But it wasn't like Quinn had acted different since Rachel told her about her feelings. They still hugged and held hands and snuggled to watch movies, and they still slept in the same bed, but they had never cuddled under the covers again. But that was somewhat Rachel's decision, she didn't know if it had anything to do with Quinn. So she didn't think that was the reason she was avoiding them, but she knew there was one.

She wrapped the towel around herself and opened the bathroom door. She didn't expect Quinn to be waiting for her sitting on the bed.

"Sorry!" The blonde covered her eyes.

"It's okay." Rachel chuckled, walking towards her drawer to retrieve underwear.

"I'll go!"

"Just cover your face or turn around." Rachel said dismissively. "I'll be done in a minute."

Quinn turned on the bed and flopped, face down, dragging a pillow to her face and hugging it.

Rachel put on her underwear and shorts and a tank top, laying her hair down and taking a bottle from the top of her drawer.

"Done!" She said happily, sitting on the bed.

Quinn turned around and sat up, hair messy and strands coming out of the loose bun on the crown of her head. Rachel had one leg stretched on the bed and was rubbing lotion on herself. Quinn started and couldn't stop coughing.

Rachel looked up at her, alarmed.

"I choked." Quinn wheezed. "...with my own spit –silly."

Rachel frowned and smiled amusedly as Quinn stumbled into the bathroom and closed the door. It was nice to see her dorky quirky self, relaxed and away from school. It had been hard for everyone this year, but her friends had it worst than her. Sure, nobody else really liked her and they would be throwing slushies at her face if it wasn't for Quinn and Santana, but Quinn had the weight of being Head Cheerleader and having everyone behind her every move, either to imitate or judge her, and Santana was getting more bitter every day. Rachel didn't know exactly why it was, but her friend was on edge at school, snapping at whomever as much as breathed too close to her. Sure, she'd always been protective of them and herself, but she was a downright bitch to everyone else now.

"Distracted?"

Rachel jumped a little on the bed. Quinn had come out of the bathroom and was leaning against the desk, looking amusedly at her.

"I was just thinking…"

"About?" Quinn smiled. She ran her fingers distractedly over random items on Rachel's desk.

"Um, Santana." She immediately blushed, thinking about the kiss that had happened mere hours ago. Yeah, Quinn was never going to know about that. "But –but it's nothing, never mind."

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in!"

"Girls?" Leroy's head peeked inside the room. "There was a mishap with dinner." He smiled sheepishly. "How about take out?"

"Chinese?" Quinn smiled.

"Sure." Leroy nodded, and closed the door with a wink.

"I want to change my nail's color." Quinn said happily. She grabbed one of Rachel's light pink nail polish and bounced on the bed. "Braid me?" She grinned.

Rachel grinned right back. Quinn loved braids and she loved to make them, especially to Quinn because her hair was always silky and soft. She knelt on the bed behind her friend and undid her bun, running her hands through her hair to smooth it. Quinn tilted her head back for a while.

"Aren't you going to paint your nails?" Rachel asked when she started the braid and Quinn was still unmoving.

"Oh, yeah."

They were silent as Rachel worked with Quinn's hair. She tugged at Quinn's hair-band she'd kept on her wrist with her teeth and tied the end of the braid.

"Are you done?"

"Yep." Rachel slapped Quinn's shoulders.

"Help me with my right hand!" Quinn turned around and offered her right hand to Rachel, who took the nail polish and rested her friend's hand on her thigh. Her palm was warm and sweaty, but she didn't mind. Quinn didn't say anything while Rachel worked with her right hand, but every time she lifted her gaze, she was looking at her and smiled.

"Have you thought about having bangs?" Quinn asked absentmindedly, ghosting the tips of the fingers of her free hand along Rachel's forehead.

Rachel swallowed and shook her head, but didn't lift her gaze from Quinn's ring finger, which she was holding out lightly as she painted the nail.

"They'd look good."

"It's too hot to have hair sticking to my forehead." Rachel mumbled.

Quinn chuckled, running her finger down Rachel's nose and tapping the tip of her nose two times.

"You're right."

"Of course." Rachel huffed. Her heart was beating strongly against her chest, Quinn's perfume was too sweet and she was too warm. "All done!" She said almost too happily, jumping from the bed and leaving the nail polish on her desk.

Sometimes she wondered if Quinn had forgotten about their conversation in the kitchen on New Year's Eve.

The doorbell saved her from any more awkward, blissful touches, and they nearly ran down the stairs in hunger. They sat on pillows on the living room floor with cartons of Chinese while Hiram went to get them drinks.

"Dinner with Audrey?" Leroy said happily, holding up a _Roman Holiday_ DVD.

They left the hallway light on to see what they were eating but turned the living room's lights off. Quinn leaned against her once they finished eating, pressing the sides of their legs together and her head on Rachel's shoulder, her hair tickling under her jaw. It was a warm summer night, but that was not why Rachel's palms were sweating and her heart was beating wild. She closed her eyes tightly for a second and tried to concentrate on the movie, angry with herself. But Quinn was so warm and she smelled so sweet and she was just… Lucy Quinn, lying against her, too beautiful and painful for words to describe.

Rachel offered to take the empty food cartons to the kitchen while Leroy put the DVD in its box and Quinn accommodated the pillows on the couches and chairs.

"I saw your Mom today at the saloon, Quinn." Leroy said happily. "Well, leaving the saloon." He laughed. "She got a nice haircut, did you like it?"

"Uh, yes." Quinn mumbled.

Rachel entered the living room, pretending she hadn't heard what her Daddy said.

"Should we go to bed now?" She asked Quinn, smiling a little tightly.

Quinn watched her for a few seconds before nodding.

They went up the stairs and Rachel took the bathroom first, changing into her pajamas and laying down on the bed while Quinn brushed her teeth. She turned off the lights without waiting for her.

"Rach?" Quinn whispered when she was lying down.

Rachel wasn't angry, Quinn could have secrets. There was nothing wrong with that. But she was disappointed that she wasn't entrusted to keep them. It was the first time, as far as she knew, that Lucy kept something from her. She didn't know if she should blame herself. Maybe telling her the truth about her feelings _had_ ruined their friendship, after all.

"Are you awake?" Quinn whispered. She took a deep breath and let it out as a shaky sigh.

Rachel felt a tentative hand run through her hair once, slowly, and tracing the rim of her ear.

"Sweet dreams." Quinn breathed out.

Rachel closed her eyes tightly.

* * *

Rachel woke up with a sore _everything_ on the morning of the first day of sophomore year. She didn't know whose idea it was that it would be great for all of them to sleep over at her house the day before and go to school together.

"This was a dumb idea, Berry." Santana grumbled, hiding her face in a pillow. Brittany flopped down on top of her, pressing her face to the other side of the pillow and groaning.

Okay, so maybe it was _her_ stupid idea.

Quinn made an intelligible noise from the foot of the bed, where she had lay down across at some point of the night.

"Why do we have to get up at six?" Brittany whined.

"We don't, I forgot to turn off the alarm. We can sleep a little more." Rachel said it all in a deep, sleepy voice.

"Mkay." Quinn mumbled.

Rachel felt Brittany's arms around her waist and promptly fell asleep, only lightly and for a few minutes. When she woke up again and realized she wouldn't be falling back asleep, she got out of bed and went to the bathroom and then the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone.

She was brewing coffee when a pale arm wrapped around her waist and someone kissed her cheek lightly. Rachel had only once confused Quinn with Brittany, and that had been because she didn't know how different her friend looked at the time. Quinn still managed to have that sweet perfume even when she had just woken up.

"Hurry it." She mumbled, slumping her dead weight onto Rachel's back.

Rachel giggled and braced herself against the counter on her elbows to support her weight.

"How about you help me instead of sleeping on me, Lu."

"Okay." Quinn said softly at the use of her first name.

She grabbed a pan and tofu bacon from the fridge and settled herself next to Rachel.

"Don't tell Santana it's vegan." Rachel warned.

"But everything in your house is vegan." Quinn frowned.

"I know, but just don't tell her and we'll be fine."

Quinn nodded and they cooked in silence, until Rachel started humming _The Supremes_ and soon they were singing loudly and laughing. They arranged the table and Rachel was turning towards the stairs to wake Brittany and Santana up when Quinn grabbed her wrist.

"Wait!"

Rachel turned around, eyebrows raised.

"Rachel… I have to tell you something." Quinn licked her lips and took a deep breath. "I… I made a mistake. Well, no, the mistake is that I didn't tell you… I mean, I did something, I'm –"

"Could you bitches be any louder?" Santana groaned.

"Oh, cake!" Brittany bounced happily into the kitchen and sat at the table.

"Tell me what, Quinn?" Rachel frowned.

Quinn looked around at Brittany and Santana and shook her head.

"Later." She mumbled, going to the cupboard and grabbing four mugs for coffee.

Santana was chewing the tofu bacon obliviously and Quinn caught Rachel's eye and smiled.

"I dreamed that we rode unicorns to school." Brittany said happily.

She had everyone's undivided attention.

When they walked into school, three of them on their Cheerios uniform, walking with their heads high, and Rachel in the middle between Quinn and Santana in knee high socks, a skirt and a sweater, everyone turned their heads to look at them. Santana was telling them about the time Brittany kicked her in the face because she was dreaming about _Kung Fu Panda_ and they were all laughing. In those moments Rachel forgot how different everyone saw her from her friends, even when they saw her like she was now, belonging and laughing about the same things and with Santana's arm around her shoulders. People still thought she was a loser just because they didn't like the way she dressed and that she did well at school. It was stupid, because right now they were parting for _her_ as well, but when she was alone they always pushed her shoulders.

She stopped at her locker and turned around to read the piece of paper with her new combination when Quinn's voice startled her.

"Rachel?"

"Where is your locker, Quinn?"

"Down the hall." She answered distractedly. "Look, about before –"

"Can't it wait? You have to leave your things in your locker, it's the first day!"

"No, Rachel, please." Quinn said urgently, grabbing her gently by the arm and turning her around.

Rachel looked into her distressed face and frowned.

"Is everything okay?"

"It's just there's something I have to tell you before you find out from someone else."

"Okay." Rachel nodded. She frowned when Quinn opened and closed her mouth but nothing came out. "You're making me nervous." She laughed awkwardly.

"Okay." Quinn nodded, a little breathless. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it's just –"

"Hey Quinn!" A tall boy with a varsity jacket was waving at them and grinning, walking towards them.

"Shoot." Quinn mumbled, closing her eyes tight.

Rachel squinted at him, he looked familiar but she couldn't quite remember his name. Something about a fish…

"Hey." He said a little breathlessly to Rachel, smiling crookedly. Rachel politely smiled back. "Hey babe." He grinned down at Quinn, resting a hand on the lockers between Quinn and Rachel's head and pecking Quinn's lips.

Rachel felt her stomach bottoming out; she couldn't help but stare at them, frozen. Was she breathing? Blinking? She didn't think so.

"You want me to walk you to your locker?" She heard him say.

"Not now, Finn." Quinn sighed. "I'm a little busy here…"

He seemed to remember that Rachel was standing there as well and stood up straight, and she finally had somewhere else to look than his enormous arm and his face against Quinn's.

"Oh, yeah." He smiled. "Cool sweater, dude." He smiled at Rachel.

"I'm not a dude." Rachel muttered mechanically, still ramrod straight.

He scratched his head, smiling, and walked away without saying anything.

"What the fuck has just burned my retinas forever?" Santana was suddenly next to them, sounding scandalized. She wrapped an arm around Rachel's waist and squeezed her against her, and Rachel suddenly felt the need to grab onto her arm tightly for support.

"I wanted to tell you." Quinn sounded a little desperate.

"That was so disgusting." Brittany scrunched up her whole face, appearing behind Rachel and wrapping her arms around the girl's shoulders.

Quinn looked a little desolated, standing in front of them alone.

"I… went out with him, during summer. A couple of times." She admitted awkwardly.

"He answers everything with _burrito_ in Spanish class." Santana spat incredulously.

"He's… cute." Quinn shrugged one shoulder.

"He wears Axe!" Santana exclaimed.

"Douche bag scent." Brittany added.

"How do you know how he smells like?"

"Congratulations." Rachel said lowly. They all shut up to look at her. She smiled widely. "He seemed nice." She felt Santana deflate next to her.

"Thank you, Rach." Quinn said lowly.

Rachel nodded, rolling her shoulders backwards and gently prying her friend's arms away from her and turning to her locker, silently placing her books inside.

"I'll see you at lunch." Santana muttered grumpily, holding Brittany's pinkie with her own and walking away.

"Are you mad?" Quinn murmured, biting her lip.

"Why would I be?" Rachel frowned, not taking her eyes away from her locker.

"Because I didn't tell you about… I just, wasn't sure…"

"You're allowed to have some secrets." Rachel looked at her smiling for a second, but quickly turned her gaze.

"But I don't want to keep things from you." Quinn frowned, stepping closer and resting her hand on Rachel's shoulder. "I just… I didn't want…"

Rachel took the hand resting on her shoulder and wrapped it between both of hers.

"It's okay, Quinn. I understand." She _did_ understand. Quinn didn't feel the same way for her, but she did have feelings for Finn. That's why she didn't tell her, because she didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"I'm sorry that I –"

"Look, if you don't want to have secrets with me, then don't." Rachel looked into anguished hazel eyes. "Next time you have a secret, tell me." She smiled. "But I won't be mad if you don't."

"I will." Quinn said earnestly. "I'm sorry…"

"Stop it." Rachel smiled, cupping Quinn's cheek for a moment. "Now save your books, we're going to be late."

She didn't turn her head to watch Quinn walk away.

For the next month, Rachel tried to be supportive, but whenever she mentioned Finn, Quinn seemed even more uncomfortable than Rachel herself felt. She knew Quinn was just taking her feelings into consideration, but it was actually harder because it felt like every time Rachel tried to make it go away, Quinn brought it up to daylight with her silence and her reluctance to talk about Finn. Every time Rachel saw them together, which admittedly was something she tried to avoid whenever possible, Quinn was frowning or scowling. Rachel felt at fault that Quinn couldn't enjoy her relationship in her presence because she felt guilty.

"It's not that, it's just that he's an idiot." Santana scoffed when Rachel told her and Brittany what she thought.

"She's always making wrawring noises at him." Brittany nodded.

Rachel scrunched up her face in confusion.

"He's irritating." Santana supplied, smoke coming out of her mouth with her words.

"Like, when he comes to see us practice when football practice is over, she generally treats him like a dumb annoying cousin."

Rachel scoffed.

"You just see what you _want_ to see."

"Whatever." Santana took a dragof her cigarette. "He's as dumb as bricks, I would act the same way."

"But she's _dating_ him." Rachel protested.

"Maybe he hit his head a lot playing football." Brittany mused.

Santana smiled wickedly, wrapping an arm around the blonde.

"You know what? It doesn't matter." Rachel smiled, albeit a little forced. "I _want_ her to be happy. It'd be selfish to be mad that it's not just me that makes her happy. So I'm going to involve myself in what I love in order to stop thinking about it so much." She nodded.

"What are you going to do?" Brittany frowned, playing with Santana's ponytail.

"I'm joining Glee club." Rachel grinned, raising her eyebrows. Her face fell when she didn't get the excited reaction she was hoping for.

"But I thought Sandy Pedobear-Ryerson was running it." Santana frowned. "There's no way he'd –"

"I know." Rachel sighed. "Maybe I'll just… convince him." She frowned.

"Or…" Santana grinned devilishly. "I've got a _better_ idea."

* * *

"We're doing it, Finn." Quinn said through gritted teeth.

"But it's _loser land_, people are going to think I'm g– "

"Don't even _say_ it." She narrowed her eyes. "So what? You're not gay, you're dating me!"

"But still –"

"Do you have a problem with it?"

"No! I mean… there's this kid Kurt who keeps _looking_ at me like –"

"Oh my God." Quinn pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay, you don't want to do it? _Fine_. Maybe I'll get another guy who wants –"

"Okay! Okay." Finn sighed. "I'll do it. I'll join… Glee club." He muttered. "I just don't understand why it's so important –"

"It's important to Rachel." Quinn said a little more calmly. She bit her lip. "So it's important to me. Okay? She's my best friend, do you get that?" She looked at him through her eyelashes.

There was nothing he could say no to when she looked like that, all soft and warm. It almost never happened.

"Yeah, I get it." He sighed.

"They need twelve people to be official or something."

"Okay." He nodded, smiling a little. "It's kinda cool, that you care about your friends so much."

"Yeah." Quinn said tightly. She looked up at him and deflated a little. "Thanks for doing this for me." She smiled, leaning up on her toes to peck his cheek. "Now go, I have to find something here first."

"Right." He nodded, a little dazed. He stumbled a little when he walked away.

"You're kind of a shitty girlfriend, you know?" Santana chuckled, suddenly leaning against the lockers and watching Quinn with an amused smile.

"Shut up, he gets on my nerves." Quinn rolled her eyes, organizing the books in her locker and straightening her picture with Rachel magnetized to the door.

"He_ is_ really dim." Santana nodded.

Quinn bit her lip and chuckled.

"So what is it about him, then? Is he a good kisser?" Santana grimaced with an _I-don't-think-so_ face.

"I don't know. What do you care?"

"I'm just curious." She shrugged.

"I don't..." Quinn glanced around the empty hallway. "I don't really… it's not, like, _special_."

"Why do you think –"

"Maybe if we get married, it'll feel right." Quinn frowned.

Santana scoffed.

"I _love_ making out with Brittany." She smirked. "I love to feel her curves, she feels gentler and nicer because she's a girl. And her kisses are soft and wet, but a hot wet, you know?" Her smirk deepened when she noticed the blush on Quinn's cheeks, and the way she eyed the picture on her locker before closing it with a thud.

"And _we_ are certainly not married." She added just for shits and giggles.

"Whatever." Quinn breathed nervously. "I... we should go to that… Glee thing."

"We should." Santana pushed herself off the lockers and started walking. "Rachel's waiting." She threw over her shoulder, and Quinn stumbled into step with her.

* * *

Glee club turned out to be… not so bad… not incredibly lame, either. It was starting to grow a little on everyone, and it definitely hadn't taken any _cool points_ out of them. They were going to a party.

Santana had recently acquired a driving license, which didn't necessarily mean all good things. But it had a purpose now, and it was driving them and making them arrive in a cooler way than the rest of the sophomores invited. Although being Cheerios and friends with the _Head_ cheerleader definitely made them cool. Quinn had insisted in going with them instead of with Finn, because it was Rachel's first high school party and she didn't want to leave her alone. Brittany, Santana and Quinn had attended just a few parties before, but never in the Puckerman house, and Puck's parties where supposed to be the wildest (as wild as a high school party in Lima, Ohio could get). Rachel was a little –a lot – nervous, and her hand was discreetly squeezing Quinn's. Discreetly as in that Quinn didn't grimace and Brittany and Santana didn't comment on it. She knew she'd only been invited because she was a _fellow Jew_ and made out with Puck, and not necessarily because everyone else liked her or thought she was cool. It didn't make a difference at school when just a couple of people a day sneered at her or shoulder-checked her when she was alone, but in this party _everyone_ would look down on her. She knew they were wrong and that they were no one in her life at the end of the day, but that didn't stop her from being _a little_ affected. She couldn't help it now.

They heard the music from a block away, and parked there because Santana didn't want anything to happen to the car her Papá had very reluctantly let her drive to the party.

Quinn wrapped an arm around Rachel's waist while they walked.

"Are you okay?" She squeezed her a little against her side because Rachel was chewing her bottom lip. "We don't have to go; we can go to your house and watch a movie." She suggested warmly, ducking her head to try and catch Rachel's eyes.

"Fuck no, we're already here. Let her discover the fun and then she won't want to leave."

"Don't worry Rach, it'll be fun!" Brittany turned around, walking backwards to look at Rachel.

"Yeah, it's okay." Rachel smiled.

Quinn pressed her lips together with a little frown, but didn't press any further.

"Oh yeah!" Puck leered when they walked through the door, throwing his hands up in the air.

Rachel smiled a little while the others rolled her eyes. No one was paying her any mind, they were all getting drunk and dancing to the music, and some were already making out against the walls. Rachel scrunched her nose up at them. Brittany and Santana grabbed drinks from a table and went straight to the dance floor, grinding against each other.

"Every single time." Quinn chuckled. She hadn't dropped her arm yet.

"I don't think they should drink from those cups, they don't even know what's in them." Rachel frowned disapprovingly.

"You take these." Puck came out of nowhere with two red plastic cups. Rachel and Quinn eyed them suspiciously. "They don't have any alcohol, I swear!" He held his arms up, one cup on each hand.

Rachel took one and Quinn sighed, grabbing the other with pursed lips.

"See the table with less plastic cups?" He pointed, leaning against Rachel a little. He smelled like beer. "Those are the boring drinks. Without alcohol." He winked.

"Hey babe!"

Rachel grimaced at the nickname. She didn't need to see who it was to know it was Finn, his voice and nickname for Quinn were characteristic. Quinn tensed a little beside her and dropped her arm when Finn came into view. She took a step forward and Rachel looked away as to not catch them kissing.

"Yeah, it's yucky." Puck said jokingly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Where are we going?" Rachel asked when Puck started walking and dragging her along.

"She's too hot to see her making out with the doofus." Puck said dismissively.

"I thought he was your best friend?"

"He is. Doesn't mean he's not a doofus." Puck grinned. They had entered the kitchen.

"Everyone keeps saying that about him." Rachel said lowly, more to herself than for him to hear.

"And I thought Quinn was your best friend?" He eyed her from behind the fridge door. "Don't the three of you hang out?"

"Uh… not much." She was searching for a chair, but since she didn't find one, she propped herself up on the counter. "Only in Glee club, I guess."

Puck scoffed before catching himself.

"Sorry." He grinned. "It's just… so gay."

"Puckerman –"Rachel started indignantly.

"I didn't mean it like that!" He set down the rum on the counter to look at her. "It's just… dancing and singing, you know? I know I wouldn't." He shrugged.

"You love to sing." She accused. "Don't lie to me. And you said my Broadway music was _cool_." She tried to imitate his voice and put a dumb face.

He chuckled.

"Yeah, but still."

"I guess I can understand." She rolled her eyes. "Besides, everyone you throw into dumpsters is in the club, they wouldn't be too happy."

"Yeah." He said a little awkwardly. They kept quiet while he prepared some drinks and poured them into red and blue plastic cups.

"I'll go take these to the tables."

"I'll… can I help?" She smiled a little. "I don't really want to…" She gestured to outside the kitchen.

"Yeah, okay. Mix the rum with the cola and the lime." He pointed at each. "And stir. And put ice in the cups."

Rachel stared at everything with her mouth open and narrowed eyes.

"O…kay."

"Don't worry, everyone's already drunk as fuck. They won't notice if you get it wrong." He shrugged and left the kitchen with the glasses on a trail.

Rachel hadn't progressed much when he came back, she'd decided to add ice into every cup first in hopes that Noah would come back before she was done. Two hours later, she was still in the kitchen while he came and went, lipstick smeared across his face when he took too long.

"…and so we were at my Bubbe's second _Bar Mitzvah_, and Maddie said she didn't want to have one, she wanted a sweet sixteen party –"

"Oh, no she didn't!" Rachel exclaimed, covering her mouth with both hands and looking wide-eyed at Puck.

"She totally did." He shook his head and she threw her head back in laughter. "And my Bubbe said –"

"There you are!"

Rachel turned her head sharply to look at the kitchen door, where Quinn was standing, holding onto the doorframe and grinning wide.

"Are you drunk?" Rachel whispered disbelievingly.

"Drunk?" She asked happily, dragging her hand across the kitchen island as she walked towards her. "No!" She giggled. "I drank from the table Puck told me!"

"Oh fuck." He muttered.

"What?" Rachel asked him sharply, getting down from the counter and holding Quinn's forearms to help her keep standing, just in case.

"Well, you were here, and I only thought of you when I made drinks without alcohol…." Rachel couldn't be touched by the gesture because Quinn was clearly drunk and it was his fault. "So I put our drinks in both tables."

"They're _your_ drinks." She hissed at him.

"She doesn't seem to mind." He shrugged and pointed at Quinn with his head.

She grinned and shook her head, hair plastering a little to her face because she was sweating lightly. Rachel brushed it away with one hand while the other wrapped protectively around her waist and Quinn leaned her body flush against her and tipped her head back a little.

"Wow, she's drunk." Puck said a little dazed, his eyes glassed over.

"You need air." Rachel grumbled at Quinn. "And water." She turned around to pour tap water into one of the clean blue cups and Quinn wrapped her arms around her waist, hiding her face in her hair.

"You always smell like strawberries." She mumbled.

Rachel shook her head and ran her tongue along her teeth, annoyed.

"Why don't you guys hang here?" Puck was still drooling at them, the fifth bottle of rum on his left hand hanged forgotten at his side. "I'll open the window –you know, for the air, and –"

"You're a pig." Rachel narrowed her eyes at him. "Let's go." She said to Quinn, but the blonde was still clinging to her. "I can't walk like this, Quinn." She huffed. The blonde mumbled something unintelligible. "Lu?"

"Hmm, what?"

"Let's go to the backyard."

Sighing, Quinn let her go and Rachel locked their arms, pushing her way between people in the hallway and trying not to spill the water.

"A hammock!" Quinn cheered as the door closed behind them.

It wasn't like the one at her house, this one looked big enough for two people and it barely swayed when Quinn flopped down on it on her back. Rachel chuckled, Quinn was acting like a little kid and it _was_ a little funny. She was thankful they ended up here instead of Quinn being drunk and with some boy inside. Rachel sat down carefully and patted Quinn's messy hair.

"Sit up and drink this." She ordered, but Quinn was staring up at the sky with her mouth partly open. "Quinn?" The corners of her lips turned upwards. "Lucy?"

"Okay." Quinn sighed.

Rachel shook her head, a little charmed by her friend's drunken antics.

Quinn drank a little and then tipped the glass, watching the water fall to the grass.

"Hey!"

"I'm not sad." Quinn stated, resting her head on Rachel's shoulder. "I don't need water."

"That's not… that's something my dads did, for me. I wouldn't… it's because you're drunk."

"I'm not." Quinn scoffed.

"You are _so_ drunk." Rachel said playfully.

"Do you like Puck?"

"Um, what?" Rachel was startled. She blinked quickly.

"You were laughing with him in the kitchen." She sighed.

"Yeah, well… he's my friend." Rachel shrugged.

Quinn lifted her head when it bounced on Rachel's shoulder and wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist.

"You're warm." She mumbled.

Rachel felt her heartbeat quicken and hoped Quinn didn't notice.

"What's wrong?" Quinn murmured again.

So she _did_ notice.

"Nothing's wrong. Where's Finn?"

"Inside… somewhere. I don't know." The blonde pressed her lips and nose flushed against Rachel's shoulder, her warm breathing seeping through the fabric of her shirt.

"Doesn't he know you're drunk?" Rachel frowned.

"He is too. Maybe that's how his brain cells die."

"Quinn!" Rachel chuckled. "Why does _everyone_ say that about him?"

Quinn didn't answer, she pressed her face against Rachel and held tight to her waist.

"I'm cold." She mumbled. "Hug me?"

"Of course." Rachel smiled.

They lay back against the hammock with their legs stretched, Quinn's a little longer and pale, and Rachel thought absentmindedly that she looked like a twelve year old next to her. She was the taller one when they were little, but Quinn had outgrown her in every way now. And so beautifully, too. Quinn was clutching her like a koala, her face pressed against her arm, but her grip was slowly slackening and Rachel thought she was falling asleep. They hadn't been this close in a while, and her heart felt content for the first time since school started.

"I don't want to fall asleep." Quinn whispered.

"So don't." Rachel smiled, raising her hand and running her fingers through her blonde hair, trying to comb it.

Quinn burrowed closer against her with a hum.

"Rach?"

"Luce?"

"Do you… really don't like Puck?"

"Noah is my friend."

Quinn raised herself on her arms to look at her face. Her cheeks were blushed and her eyes a little dazed. She frowned and bit her lower lip.

"Are you oka –?"

Quinn suddenly tipped forward, noses bumping and lips meeting for a second.

Rachel didn't have time to close her mouth or eyes, which were opened wide in shock, before Quinn pull backwards so hard she fell to the floor.

"Are you okay?" Rachel gasped, sitting up and watching Quinn stumble and stagger to a stand.

Quinn was wide-eyed and tearing up.

"Hey –"Rachel cut herself mid-sentence when Quinn turned around and started walking hurriedly towards the house. "Quinn! Wait, Lucy, please!"

But by the time Rachel was able to reach the ground with her feet and stand up, Quinn had gotten inside the house. She suddenly realized there were tears running down her cheeks and felt the pressure on her chest; she tumbled back in the hammock and sobbed. She couldn't begin to even comprehend what had happened, so sudden it might have been a dream if the hammock hadn't been warm enough to remind her.

"Rach, what happened?" Brittany was suddenly sitting down next to her and wrapping her in her arms.

"Did you have a fight with Q?" Santana asked a little breathlessly. "She went inside the house running and crying and –"She frowned. "What the _fuck_ happened?"

"I –I don't know!" Rachel sobbed. "We –we were –we…"

"It's okay, Rach." Brittany rubbed her back, but she didn't feel better.

"It's not." She shook her head.

Rachel felt the hammock dip next to her and Santana's arms were wrapping around her, too. They turned her gently until the three of them were lying entirely on the hammock. She buried her face in Santana's chest and Brittany stroked her hair, and Rachel wasn't able to hear the music from inside the house between her sobs and Brittany's words of comfort.

* * *

.

_Yeah, sorry… Anyway, this thing wrote itself (total opposite from the last one) I just sat back and typed. I'm sorry if it creates high lengthy expectations I cannot reach again. Also, I almost lost all my files and nearly lost the next chapters of the story. They're safe now, phew! And to top it off, the power keeps coming and going, so I decided to update today because I didn't know if I would be able to tomorrow. I promise I won't talk on every chapter, I know you probably don't care! _


	8. The World Shattered

_Angsty as fuck? Yep. I solemnly swear this is the last time. And then on with the mending of your little fic reading hearts._

.

* * *

The doorbell rang at ten in the morning and Rachel debated whether to walk down the stairs or stay in bed reading her book. It could only be a salesman or the mailman or something unimportant like that. She sighed when it rang a second time. She didn't bother changing clothes. Some salesman wanted to ring her bell at ten a.m. on a Sunday? Fine; but they were seeing her in her PJs and without any make up on. Her hair was probably a mess, too. That'd teach him. Standing on her toes and eying the baseball bat next to the door (her dads were at her Papa's cousin's house in Akron) Rachel peered through the peephole. All she saw was a mass of blonde hair on a girl's body.

Sighing, Rachel turned and slumped against the wall. Her heart was beating wildly, leaving no doubt of who was on the other side. There was nothing to contemplate; she would never leave Lucy outside the door. When she opened it, Quinn was staring at her, wide-eyed. Maybe she hadn't expected Rachel to answer, or anyone at all.

"Hi." Rachel whispered, almost mouthed.

Quinn opened her mouth but only a strangled noise came out. She liked her lips and tried again.

"I'm so sorry." She breathed out, eyes wide and wet.

Rachel bit her lip, looking down at the floor between them and ducking her head. She took a deep breath and looked up at Quinn through her eyelashes, seeing how her breath caught and she bit the corner of her lip.

Nodding, Rachel turned to rest her back against the wall in a sign for Quinn to come in, which she did nervously, tripping only once.

"Rachel –"

"It's okay Quinn. I know you were drunk and –"

"But still!"

"Can we forget about it?" Rachel whispered. It was ten in the morning and she was already so tired. Her throat hurt and her eyes felt heavy.

"Rachel…" Quinn sighed when she saw the weary look on her friend's face. "Do you hate me?"

"You know I could never."

They stood there in silence for a minute, and Rachel felt the sudden need for a hundred hours of sleep, possibly on the Moon.

"Did you have breakfast?" Quinn asked quietly.

"I didn't." Rachel frowned. She hadn't realized.

"I… could I make breakfast? For us. I hadn't… my stomach was in knots." She mumbled.

"Okay." Rachel nodded.

"But –um… you just… go lay down. I'll bring it up to your room." She smiled tentatively. "You don't look so good. Sorry." She added nervously when Rachel raised her eyebrows.

"Make me breakfast and I'll think about it."

Quinn laughed, clearly relieved her best friend was making jokes, and disappeared through the kitchen door.

Rachel hid her face in her hands for a moment and then went up the stairs to her bedroom, collapsing tiredly on the bed. It felt like she had blinked and Quinn was suddenly there, standing under her doorframe with the breakfast tray.

"Creep." Rachel mumbled sleepily.

"Sorry." Quinn bit her lip, walking inside.

"Stop apologizing."

"Sorry."

"Quinn!"

"Oh, right. Um… nevermind."

Rachel could tell she was still on edge, but she knew it would only go away with time. Nothing she could do or say now would make Quinn feel better if she thought she had done something wrong. Which she had… which only proved Rachel's point.

They ate toasts with jam and orange juice and fruit, and an hour later Rachel felt like the tissue of her stomach was stretching to hold all the food. She groaned and flopped on her back, resting both hands on her belly. She saw on her peripheral vision as Quinn set the tray carefully on the carpet and lay back down on the bed with calculated moves, stretching her legs alongside Rachel and resting her socked feet just shy of the pillow, with space between them so none of their skin or clothes touched.

Rachel rolled her eyes lightly, knowing Quinn needed a little push to be at least a little comfortable again, and threw her arm to the side, resting it across both of Quinn's legs. She bet all her money she was smiling right then.

"Are you falling asleep?" Quinn whispered after a while.

"A little." Rachel said drowsily.

"Do you want me to –"

"Put on some music." Rachel stated.

"Okay." Quinn smiled.

Rachel heard her move around until the distinctive sound of vinyl and trumpets filled the room. She couldn't help but smile, turning her head to look at Quinn, who was looking at her. The blonde ducked her head and fumbled with the cover, almost dropping it to the floor before settling it on top of the desk.

Instead of lying back down on the bed, Quinn sat down on the carpet next to the record player and rested her back against the wall. Rachel closed her eyes and tried to pay attention to the music instead of the thoughts plaguing her mind. She never fell asleep but didn't open her eyes, either. Quinn changed record after record, and it wouldn't have been an unconventional thing if it wasn't for the distance between them and the tension that filled the air.

The doorbell rang once again and Rachel almost jumped off of bed in fright. She opened her eyes wide and saw Quinn looking up from her book and towards the door, frowning.

"Are your dads home?"

Rachel shook her head.

"They're in Akron."

"I'll get it." She said, standing up and not giving Rachel a chance to protest.

A minute later, Quinn walked in again along Brittany and Santana.

"I brought lunch, bitch." Santana grumbled. She had a low ponytail, overalls and sunglasses.

"She's hungover." Brittany said brightly, skipping towards the bed with another bag of take-out.

Santana sat wordlessly on the desk chair and chewed at ridiculous amounts of food at a time. Rachel had the sensation she was being watched, but she couldn't tell because of the sunglasses. She knew her friend was probably trying to figure out what was going on between her and Quinn.

She hadn't told them what happened at the party, just that she and Quinn had fought, but she knew Santana hadn't believed a word. Rachel and Quinn never fought; it had come out of her mouth once, after all.

Santana didn't comment on Quinn's presence or asked if they had made peace. It was clear that whatever happened with them last night was never leaving Rachel and Quinn's special world, at least for the moment. Their relationship was complicated, only understood by them, and she could relate to that. She and Brittany were the same, so she knew they wouldn't want anyone they hadn't invited in on their business.

Brittany filled their lunchtime with chatter about penguins and seals, and they all ended up on their backs with their stomachs full. Santana groaned when she got up to open the window and sit on the sill, lighting a cigarette. Brittany had taken a hold of Rachel's laptop and was playing baby animals videos on _YouTube_ for Quinn and Rachel, who were watching laying down together on the bed, smiling.

They would always find a way to forgive and love each other, and fuck it if it wasn't cheesy, Santana thought, but it was also the truth.

* * *

Rachel hadn't thought it any sort of déjà-vu when her doorbell rang while she was in bed and her dads were gone.

It was Monday morning, just a month after Puck's party and the incident she was trying to erase from her mind. She was in denial. Quinn was probably in denial, too, since they hadn't talked about it or mentioned it at all since she apologized. Rachel couldn't blame her. She knew it was a mistake, probably because Quinn was drunk and Rachel was familiar and warm and _there_. Perhaps in her drunken haze Quinn thought it a good idea since she knew Rachel wouldn't be opposed to it because of her feelings; at least technically. She was trying to be in denial about it, but the truth was, it was six thirty in the morning on a Monday and she was awake thinking about it since five a.m. The fact that, when she imagined her first kiss with Lucy, whenever she let herself in the moments between awake and asleep, it was nothing like how it actually happened. It wasn't sweet or good or a kiss at all, just an awkward press of lips in the wrong angle and with the wrong pressure and the wrong _everything_. The fact that it was a mistake was what broke her heart the most. She could tell herself over and over that she should want Lucy only as a friend, and that she should stop thinking about her lips and her eyes and her legs and, oddly enough, her collarbones, but it wasn't easy. Not at all, especially when Quinn treated her so delicately and softly and protectively, it was impossible not to fall in love.

She stopped herself right there. She shouldn't –couldn't be thinking that. At all. Because it was… it wasn't just a crush, or… or being confused, or a phase… She had been fooling herself with those thoughts, when she knew all along…

The doorbell rang and Rachel sprung to her feet in fright. The covers flew and fell to the floor. For a second she'd forgotten about the world and the piercing timber had shocked her, as if she had been caught. She ran down the stairs in her shorts and sports bra, which she had put on in the hopes of working out in the elliptical, and peered though the peephole. It was Quinn.

These moments were rare and scared her, they usually came with surprises. Quinn always called to let her know she was going and then let herself in with the key hidden in the flowerbed. Whenever she rang the doorbell, there was something going on. Rachel nearly ripped the door open and immediately knew something was wrong. Quinn was standing there with a blank face and tense body.

"Quinn…?" Rachel hesitated.

She didn't say anything. Quinn opened her mouth and then closed it, her nostrils flaring and her expression crumbling.

"Come in." Rachel grasped her wrist and tugged her inside, blinking in confusion and frowning.

Quinn was clutching something in her hand.

"What happened?" She raised her eyebrows to look at her in the eye, but Quinn looked down and bit her lip, clearly holding back tears. "What is that?" Rachel eyed the pink box on Quinn's tight grip.

"I need you…" Quinn whimpered. "I… help me."

Rachel took in a deep shaky breath, she was getting scared.

"Of course, honey. But you need to tell me what's wrong."

"I… I d-didn't know w-what to do… What I…" Quinn's entire body was shaking, then, and the words coming out of her mouth weren't completely coherent.

Rachel felt tears gather in her eyes just from the sight. She wrapped Quinn in a hug, gently taking the box out of her hands in the progress. Quinn collapsed against her, clutching at her shoulders and hiding her face in her neck while her body shook with sobs. Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep, composing breath. Then she opened her palm behind Quinn's back and stared at the box. A tear fell down her cheek.

"Lucy…" She whispered, clutching her friend tightly. "Honey, breathe." She added when Quinn was gasping between hiccups.

Rachel somehow walked them blindly to a couch and they collapsed there, she arranged Quinn on her lap and stroked her hair while she rocked them slightly back and forth.

"Calm down, Luce. We… you have to take this…" She breathed deeply. "Make sure."

"What –what if –?"

"We'll handle it. Whatever it is." Rachel pushed Quinn gently so she could look at her face. Quinn sniffled. "Okay?"

"I love you." Quinn whispered.

"I love you, too." Rachel smiled, cupping her cheek. "Let's go to the bathroom?"

Quinn stood up on shaky legs, taking Rachel's hand once she was standing and together they walked upstairs and into Rachel's room to the adjoining bathroom.

Rachel opened the pink box while Quinn watched, pressing her lips together as her eyes filled with tears again.

Rachel hanged Quinn the pregnancy test.

"It says here that you have to… uh, pee on it." Rachel didn't lift her gaze from the instructions. "Then wait three minutes."

Quinn nodded but stood there, holding the pink plastic stick in her shaky hand.

"Come –"She cleared her throat. "P-please come in with me?"

Rachel didn't know if the stutter was because of the tears or some sort of regression, but it churned her stomach either way. She nodded and stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind her and turning her back to the toilet. She pressed both her palms against her face and held her breath as she heard Quinn do her thing behind her.

"Okay." Quinn said softly.

The test was resting on the edge of the bathtub, and Quinn had turned away from it while she washed her hands, then her face, then her hands again.

"It's been three minutes." Rachel announced nervously.

Quinn finally closed the tab and dried her hands, arms, face and neck with a towel.

"D-do you want me to…" Rachel trailed off.

"I think I'll do it." Quinn murmured, looking down at the sink.

Rachel watched her for a minute or two as she bit her lip, then frowned, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"It's going to be okay." Rachel promised.

"Will you hold my hand?" Quinn asked shakily as she grabbed the test, but she smiled a little at Rachel and so Rachel smiled back.

"Of course."

"I-I don't know what the two lines mean." She whispered, voice thick with tears.

She looked up at Rachel when the brunette gasped.

"Oh –oh God…" Quinn crumpled down to the floor, the test flying from her hands and into the bathtub as her hands covered her face.

Rachel felt fists pulling her in further than she could go when she dropped to the floor and wrapped Quinn in her arms. It felt like Quinn was trying to get inside her skin, if only she knew she was already there. Perhaps even more so now than ever with her pain seeping into Rachel's chest and caving a hole there.

"It's alright, Luce. I've got you. We'll figure it out, I promise, okay? I'll do whatever you want, whatever it takes. Do you believe me?" Quinn didn't answer. "Does that sound okay? Stop crying, honey. I love you." She pressed her lips against her temple and dragged them to her ear. "I love you so much, Lucy. Calm down. Shh, it's okay. Breathe."

Her sobs eventually died down and her grip on the back of Rachel's sports bra lessened, until Quinn was lying heavily on Rachel and staring ahead, unseeing.

"Let's go to my room, okay?" Rachel whispered. Quinn nodded.

They got up carefully and Rachel grabbed the test from the bathtub, wrapped it in toilet paper and threw it in the trashcan along with the box, not caring that it was recyclable and in the wrong bag.

"You're going to lie down on my bed, and I'm going to make you some tea and there's cinnamon cake, I'll bring you some of it." She guided Quinn to the bed and watched as she lay down and put the covers up to her chin. "Just rest and I'll be right back." Rachel whispered, bending over to kiss her forehead.

Quinn was sleeping when she got back. Rachel left the tray at her desk and got inside the covers. It was nine a.m., they wouldn't be going to school. Quinn immediately turned around when the bed dipped beside her and her arms wrapped around Rachel's waist. It had been a long time since they'd done this, but Rachel was too numb to feel something about it. How could this have happened? Her mind was full of questions and fogged with incredulity, so much so that it felt like a dream instead of real life. She ran her hands through Quinn's messy hair and looked unseeingly at the wall, unable to fall asleep.

"I can't."

Quinn's whisper made her blink rapidly to get out of her stupor.

"I didn't know you were awake." She whispered back.

"I can't sleep." Quinn's arms tightened their grip on her waist and she sniffled. "And I can't…"

"What?" Rachel frowned, looking down at the crown of Quinn's head.

"I can't do it, Rachel." She cried. "I… my parents, they can't know. I have to…"

"Abort?"

"Yes."

She felt her heart thumping wildly against her chest, her arms shake a little. Quinn was crying again, and she held her so fiercely she turned around in her arms, burying her face in her chest. She settled her between her legs and tugged the covers up until all that was visible was a mop of blonde hair hidden in the cotton t-shirt she'd put on before going downstairs to make breakfast.

An hour later, Quinn got out of bed while Rachel was downstairs reheating their teas. She walked up to the desk in search for tissues to blow her nose, but instead got distracted by the little items on Rachel's desk. Her mind was too clogged to think about what was going on, like she was still in shock in spite of it being something she was dreading for a week and a half now. She just couldn't think about it, couldn't deal with it yet. On top of a neat stack of notebooks there were two gold star sticker sheets. Rachel used to put them everywhere when they were little, every time she made a drawing or in every juggle ball they used to play with, when she wrote silly notes Lucy found later between pages of books, and now she put one at the end of her signature in every school paper or test and sometimes got told off by teachers. Quinn smiled, brushing her fingers along little bottles of perfume, picking the yellow one and bringing it to her nose. It smelled like jasmine, maybe gardenias, and Quinn remembered smelling it during countless hugs and movies. She put it back, heart pounding inside her whole chest, and moved to the dresser. Quinn avoided the mirror, afraid of what she might find. Her heart was breaking with every beat and there was nothing she could do about it. Her parents couldn't find out, no one else but Rachel could. Little necklaces hanged from the body of a ballerina with outstretched hands and legs next to an argyle patterned box, which Quinn knew was full of headbands, hair ties and hair clips.

"Are you feeling better?"

Quinn's head snapped up to look at Rachel entering her bedroom, leaving the tray on the bed and walking towards her.

"I was looking for tissues." She explained in a raspy voice.

Nodding, Rachel walked inside the bathroom and went back to Quinn with the box.

"Thanks." Quinn whispered. For some reason she couldn't meet her friend's eye.

"Quinn?" Rachel frowned, trying to catch her gaze."W-what… did I do something?"

"You were always stronger than me, Rach." Quinn mumbled, still looking down. "When we had just met and you were on a difficult situation, you still helped me more than anyone… and you were so –so strong, you barely ever needed me to keep it together." Her eyes were shiny and full of tears when she finally looked up. "S-so I need you now, too. I d-don't know what I'd do without you, I… I've never loved someone so much. I swear, you're the most _amazing_ g-girl."

All was said with such incredible pain and between sobs and hiccups, and Rachel knew Quinn must be a wreck to exaggerate her emotions so much, to feel them so strongly. It put an extraordinary amount of weight on her shoulders, but none which she wasn't ready and willing to take. It was impossible for her to put herself in Quinn's place. It was impossible for her to understand how she had gotten there. She couldn't help but realize that she still thought of Quinn as shy little Lucy, and they weren't kids anymore. It was like a little crack in her cocoon of a world that always seemed to submerge her whenever she was with Quinn. But she was ready to face it, to do whatever it took to help Quinn, and then vowed to patch up that crack so that they could be a little more careless again, like astronaut princesses.

"Come here." Rachel opened her arms and Quinn stepped between them, shedding no more tears. "I love you, Lucy. We'll get past this. Okay?" Quinn nodded as best as she could with her head in Rachel's shoulder. "Now you have to eat something, come on."

Quinn got under the covers again, sitting against the pillows and bringing the tray closer to her. Thankful that her tears were over, she realized how hungry she really was. She didn't notice until she looked up with cake in her mouth that Rachel was putting on a movie. When _The Sound of Music _started, Rachel bounced into bed and covered as well. Quinn wished time could stay still right then, that nothing went forward, but it was a futile wish.

Rachel turned on her laptop while Quinn still watched the movie quietly next to her, head on her shoulder and pretending that she didn't pay attention to what she was searching online.

"We have a phone." Rachel stated when the movie was over. "I'll just have to… uh, make an appointment, I guess."

"Okay." Quinn said faintly.

"It says… um, that if you're less than seven weeks –if seven weeks haven't passed since your last period… that there's a pill. Instead of… you know, uh, a procedure."

Quinn closed her eyes and breathed shakily through her nose.

"Can you… would you call?"

"Yes, but you need to tell me."

"What?" Quinn frowned, opening her eyes to look at her.

"Is it… are you less… than seven weeks?"

"Yes." Quinn bit her lip.

Rachel got out of bed to make the call, Quinn watched with apprehension as she left the bedroom and walked up and down the hallway, frowning once in a while as she spoke. Her heart was beating wildly inside her chest, a mix of pain, anxiety and an ache for Rachel's arms around her, especially while she watched her being strong for her. She felt something akin to how Rachel made her feel the first time they played together, locked in a wardrobe trying to find a way to defeat Frannie. She'd never felt so in awe of someone who would be brave for her, and do the brave things with her, because she was so used to being left aside before, and not taken into account. She promised herself that she wouldn't cry, so she channeled her emotions until Rachel went back inside the room, wrapping her in a hug when she stood next to her on the bed.

"We'll go tomorrow, it's in Bedford Heights and we have to be there a while before and it's a three hour drive, so in the morning –"

"Rachel."

The brunette looked up, cut mid-sentence.

"Thank you." Quinn kissed her cheek, lingering for a second before stepping back.

There was nothing else to do but wait for the next day, and so Rachel moved them down to the Oscar room to watch movies on the projector, with popcorn, sodas and vegan gummy bears. They needed the distraction and the protection of their little cocoon, even if they were the only ones who knew what they needed to stop thinking about. Rachel was worried that Quinn may never want to talk about it, but she was willing to wait. At night she made them dinner since her dad's wouldn't be coming back until Wednesday, and they ate in the porch swing, feeling the breeze.

It was one of Quinn's favorite things about Rachel's house, hers may be bigger and Rachel always teased her about it being the largest one in town, but for some reason Quinn would change her entire house into one like Rachel's just for the porch and the swing and the fun stuff she had in the backyard, like the tire swing and the little tree house which the two of them barely fitted. She also loved the Berry's big collections of movies, music and books. Her house was filled with her dad's law books and her mom's old romances, and Quinn would have never acquired such a love for books and writing if it wasn't for Frannie, who always gave her books as random presents.

It was comforting, to think about the best things in her life, like how Rachel fitted perfectly snuggled to her side, with her head on her shoulder, hair tickling Quinn's jaw, and Quinn's arm around her back, hand resting on her bare leg. Rachel smelled like strawberries, and it reminded Quinn of home.

She didn't think about the next day when they went to bed later, because tomorrow would be difficult no matter what happened tonight; instead Quinn chose to focus on the feel of Rachel's fingers running through her hair, the steady beat of her heart under Quinn's ear, and the rise and fall of her warm stomach while she breathed. She knew with certainty right then that she would be okay, no matter what, as long as she had all of that.

* * *

Rachel tried not to think that it was the first time they slept in each other's arms since New Year's Eve, but it crept into her mind like the first thought of the morning that would stick with her all through breakfast. She tightened her hold around Quinn's back and felt her friend nuzzle her nose under Rachel's jaw. Quinn was radiating warmth like a stove, and her warm breathing created goose bumps all over Rachel's chest. She still smelled like sunshine, and her bare legs were soft, tangled with Rachel's. This was all she had got, she contemplated while looking at the soft pale skin of the back of Quinn's arm, and it was wonderful. She only hoped it was enough to fix Lucy later, because she would most certainly break.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel disentangled herself gently from Quinn and walked downstairs to make breakfast, a giant one with all they could feel like eating. It was a small gesture for Quinn to start well a day that she would never forget, for all the wrong reasons. The blonde was sprawled across the bed when Rachel took the breakfast upstairs, her hair a mess on her face and against the pillows.

"Wake up, sleepyhead." Rachel smiled. Quinn did not stir. "Quinn…" She sang. Then she sighed, leaving the tray at her desk and kneeling on the side of the bed, shaking Quinn gently with both hands.

After waiting for her to be at least half-conscious and sitting up against the headboard, Rachel carried their breakfast to the bed and they ate in silence, too hungry for some reason. Maybe anxiety, perhaps all the crying and worrying. She would be a fool to expect it all to be over come afternoon.

"Why are you frowning?" Quinn asked quietly. Her voice was raspier than usual.

Rachel shrugged one shoulder with a smile, but the frown kept its place when she looked down at her juice. Then she felt gentle fingers rubbing between her eyebrows to chase the frown away, and she smiled truthfully this time.

"I'm sorry." Quinn whispered.

"For what?" Rachel asked, almost defiantly.

"I don't know."

"I don't know either." Rachel smiled. She moved the breakfast tray to the side and scooted closer to Quinn, their knees touching. Rachel took hold of the chain hanging low on Quinn's neck until the ring hung between them. "We'll be fine." Quinn was looking at her intently, like she held all the answers. She oddly thought about Santana's comment of the Sun coming out from behind her.

"Would you believe me if I told you?" Quinn nodded. "We'll be fine." Rachel smiled.

"Because you never say things you don't mean, right?" Quinn smiled a little, too.

"Exactly." Rachel rolled her eyes at herself.

The three hour drive was filled with a music that never reached her ears. She knew it was playing and she heard the sound, but her mind couldn't understand anything, not even its own thoughts. The ride could have been hours or seconds, but Quinn was in another place entirely, nowhere and everywhere or every place she saw when she looked out the window; everywhere else that wasn't where she was heading. She still couldn't believe this was her reality. High school was supposed to be a place where she would finally fit in with the rest, where she wouldn't have a problem with being who she was and doing what she wanted and having friends and boyfriends. It never came true, any of it. She fitted in, sure, but not by being herself or getting along with people. Every day she played someone she wasn't, Head cheerleader and bitch commander, blonde pristine Quinn Fabray. Everyone who claimed to be her friend really wanted to be known at school, and she was constantly letting down her real friends. She was hurting Finn for dating him and not being sure about him. The only thing she really wanted, truly wanted, she didn't _really_ have it. And all for what? Because she wanted to fit in, and be like everybody else. But where had that taken her? To a place she never imagined she would be, in danger of letting down the only three people who still thought she was perfect. Frannie, and her parents. Rachel already knew how bad she had truly become, and yet she still seemed to forgive her, and she was still there for her. And Quinn still denied her. Her mind was spinning and not daring thinking about what she really ought to. Bedford was nearer and nearer, and somehow she felt at the edge of a precipice, which she had to cross on a wire. She wasn't ready, she hadn't thought this through, she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore.

"We're almost there." Rachel said quietly. The first words either uttered on the entire drive.

Putting all expectations aside, what did she have? If popularity didn't matter and fitting in didn't matter, if she pushed Finn and Puck from her mind, what did she have left? She was Lucy Quinn Fabray. She did have people who cared about her, and friends, and Rachel. Rachel always was the thing that kept her afloat. Her parents loved her, that much she knew. What would they really think, if they found out about this? Santana had her back at school, and she was a real friend, and she loved Rachel (which pretty much sent her the highest on Quinn's book), Brittany loved them both, there was no doubt about that. Frannie would be a little pissed, and she would probably call her mean names. Quinn could handle that. But what about herself? Could she handle it? Did she even want to?

They pulled up at the _Planned Parenthood_ parking lot and Rachel turned off the engine, turning sideways in her seat to look at Quinn and take the hand closest to hers.

"I don't know how to really handle this." She confessed.

"You're doing great." Quinn mumbled, looking down at her lap. "You're doing everything." She felt Rachel's hand squeeze.

"Should we… talk about it... first?"

"I got up last night." Quinn lifted her head and turned to face Rachel, who was frowning at her. "And I looked at the webpage you searched." Rachel nodded confusedly. "When were you planning to tell me the pill costs five hundred dollars?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does." Quinn said firmly, holding up her free hand when Rachel opened her mouth to protest. "But that wasn't… there's… the page, it said there's like a –a counselor…"

"That is a very good idea." Rachel nodded, squeezing her hand again.

"I don't know… I mean, I'm just confused. Maybe they'll be able to tell me what I really want to do."

"You're the one who should decide, Luce." Rachel said firmly. "They can give you advice, but the decision is yours, okay?" Quinn nodded. "It's _your_ life, and it's _your_ body."

"It's not just my life anymore." Quinn whispered, frowning.

"Not yet." Rachel said gently, sighing. "It's just… cells."

"Rachel…" Quinn frowned, a little disapprovingly.

"Let's go." Rachel smiled a little.

Quinn let her talk with the woman behind a desk, nervously playing with her fingers and trying not to look at any sign plastered on the walls. This place was intimidating, but maybe it was because of what she was planning to do. Or wasn't planning to do.

Once Rachel directed them to some chairs, things didn't get any better. She wished Rachel's hand on hers could be as comforting as it always was, but everything felt numb. She didn't know how much time passed while they were sitting there, Rachel's legs bouncing and Quinn looking down at her hands.

"Quinn." The woman on the desk called.

Quinn's eyes widened and she bit her lip, looking slightly panicked towards Rachel.

"It's okay, honey." Another woman was beside her, she had a kind smile that didn't have the desired effect on her.

Rachel stood up from her chair and wrapped her arms around Quinn's shoulders, rising on her toes to reach her ear.

"I love you, Luce. No matter what." She had a small smile on her face when they parted, but Quinn didn't know if it was meant to be reassuring, because it seemed a little sad.

Was Rachel disappointed in her? She wouldn't be surprised. In the past year she had done everything wrong when it came to her, only because the right thing was so hard to do, even if it was what she wanted the most. She just hadn't realized in time, and perhaps now it was too late. Rachel was looking at her with an unreadable expression on her face before a door closed between them.

A long time went by before Quinn appeared again through the door. Rachel jumped off her chair and met her half way. Quinn wasn't crying, but she was shaking like a leaf.

"It's okay." The woman from before smiled reassuringly at Rachel, but she just couldn't feed off from it.

"Should we go?" Rachel whispered against Quinn's hair.

Quinn nodded, arms around Rachel's waist, and they walked out to the parking lot. Instead of climbing into the driver's seat, Rachel unlocked the back door and pulled Quinn inside by the hand after her, settling her between her legs alongside the backseat and wrapping her arms around her.

The Sun was high in the sky and Rachel's stomach was grumbling with hunger. Most of all, her heart was beating wildly inside her chest and her legs would be shaking were she standing up. Quinn was silent, she wasn't crying and she wasn't shaking. Rachel didn't know if she was awake or asleep, happy or sad, or still pregnant. That thought made her clutch to her tighter, and then Quinn spoke so softly Rachel wouldn't have caught it if they weren't so close.

"I couldn't do it."

And then Rachel felt as if her whole life had been a prelude to this moment, like this was the starting point. And while dread crept up in her stomach and anguish invaded her chest, she felt like she could do it, whatever it was she had to do from now on, because Lucy had always been what mattered the most, what kept her going even if Lucy thought it was the other way around. Rachel knew better, but she wasn't about to tell Lucy that; right now she wanted her to feel like she could count on Rachel to be the strong one.

She kissed Lucy's forehead and tucked her tighter against her shoulder, feeling her lean fully against her body. And she smiled, because Lucy always understood their secret silent language with their actions, and Lucy was who played it best. Rachel somehow couldn't always do without words, while Lucy, and especially Quinn, was much better at the other. And so she squeezed her a little tighter.

"I've got you."


	9. The King's Sentence

"Well, this is getting boring."

Brittany pursed her lips.

"Be nice, San. They're nervous."

"What can possibly be so important? I hope they're going to tell us they're boning. Otherwise I don't care."

"You're just worried about them."

Santana threw her a look.

"_What_?"

"You're worried because they seem upset and you're jealous that Rachel's got a secret with Quinn."

"Ugh." Santana grimaced. "Get out of my head, creepster."

Brittany smiled because Santana smirked while she said it, which meant that she was actually glad that she had voiced what she couldn't.

"They're making me nervous as fuck." Santana growled, banging her feet against the floor.

Brittany straddled her in the chair, pushing her loose hair back and kissing her forehead.

"I'm sure it's nothing serious." Santana nodded, forehead still pressed to Brittany's lips. "Do you really think they did it?" The blonde asked a little more excitedly.

"Nah." Santana shook her head. "They wouldn't be making such a huge deal about telling us."

Brittany sighed.

"I wish they would just…"

"Yeah, I know." She rolled her eyes. "Rachel doesn't see it, but Quinn's like…"

"Head over heels?" Brittany supplied.

"Yeah, some lame shit like that."

Brittany smiled, running her hands down Santana's head and to her neck.

"We would have super hot double dates." She kissed Santana's cheek.

"Never! They'd be so revolting, opening doors for each other and helping each other into their chairs." She shuddered.

"Don't be silly." Brittany kissed the corner of her mouth as Santana smiled. "You'd love to watch that."

"I'd have to kill you if you tell anyone." She raised her eyebrows with a smirk, promptly crushed by Brittany's lips.

"With kisses." Brittany grinned when she pulled back. "I won't tell anyone you're secretly a slap."

"Sap." Santana murmured with a smile. Brittany winked. "I think Rach knows."

"She's so clueless about other things, though." Brittany smiled, her eyes twinkling when they locked with Santana's.

Santana smiled a little but looked away.

"Do you think they'll be too long in there?" She asked casually, looking towards the bathroom door.

Brittany got up from her lap and sat on her bed, crossing her legs and folding her hands.

"I don't know." She shrugged, looking at the back of Santana's head.

"This shouldn't be happening so soon, right?" Quinn panted.

Rachel grabbed her hair better with one hand and swept the other on Quinn's forehead.

"Don't worry about it."

Quinn scrunched up her nose and used Rachel's arms to get up from the floor. Rachel flushed the toilet while Quinn rinsed her mouth and washed her face.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked concernedly.

"Yeah." Quinn sighed. "I strangely never want to eat popcorn ever again."

"That's okay." Rachel smiled.

"Let's go, I bet they're thinking we killed someone or something." Quinn rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "It's like practice for the big leagues, right?" She looked at Rachel, who nodded.

"Right." She confirmed, smiling when Quinn took her hand before getting out of the bathroom. "Or auditioning for a role."

"Were you boning?" Santana asked irritably when they appeared.

"Yes, of course." Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Against your towels, Britt." Rachel grinned.

Santana raised her eyebrows amusedly.

"Well, color me impressed."

"You just wait." Rachel laughed and Quinn swatted her in the stomach. "Right, this is serious." She nodded, squeezing Quinn's hand.

"Okay." Quinn nodded. She took a seat next to Brittany while Rachel moved to lean against the desk next to Santana. "Okay." Quinn nodded again.

"So…" Brittany moved her hands around impatiently.

"I'm sorry… it's just…"

"What, are you pregnant?" Santana scoffed, trying to make her move along.

"Yes." Quinn whispered, wide-eyed. She looked down at the comforter. It was the first time she was asked that question and answered aloud.

"What the fuck?" Brittany blurted and Rachel giggled, incredulous.

"Wow."

Santana was looking at Quinn in shock, with her eyebrows raised and her mouth agape.

"I was kidding." She breathed out.

"Well, I wasn't." Quinn shrugged.

"That's…" Brittany trailed off, looking down at Quinn's stomach as if to suddenly see evidence. "You had sex." She suddenly realized.

Rachel looked away at the window.

That made Santana's mouth close and she frowned.

"That's so disgusting, Finn's pasty face and man boobs." She shivered and grimaced.

Quinn froze. That had never come up before, and now she wished she would have talked with Rachel before, because it wasn't something she wanted to tell her in front of everyone else. Now she just had to plummet through, and once again hurt her. She grimaced at the pain in her chest.

"What?" Rachel asked, clearly noting something was wrong.

"I…" Quinn hesitated, shaking her head. "It's not…"

The room was silent; Quinn looked up to see confusion in Brittany and Santana and realization on Rachel's face. She took a breath to keep herself from crying.

"It's not Finn's." Rachel said quietly.

Quinn wasn't able to tell any emotion from it, so she blindly nodded.

"_Mierda_." Santana spat. "_Holy_ shit, Lucy Q."

"What happened, Quinn?" Brittany asked concernedly. She reached out and took Quinn's hand with a frown on her face.

Quinn smiled a little at her in gratitude.

"About a month ago, at the party…" She bit her lip, not daring to look up at Rachel's face. Instead she concentrated on Britt's bright yellow nail polish. "I was drunk, and… up-upset… and…"

"It's okay." Brittany rubbed her back with her free hand.

"I don't know how it happened." Quinn hated the tears than ran down her cheeks without her permission. She hadn't cried since a week ago when she took the test with Rachel. "I mean… Puck…"

"I'm going to _kill_ him." Rachel growled.

"He was drunk, too. I –I went up and locked myself in a room that turned out to be his little sister's, and he was knocking because n-no one was supposed to be there… he just… I was crying, and he kissed me… and…" She shook her head.

"I'll castrate him." Santana said casually, shrugging one shoulder, like it was the customary thing to do.

"He doesn't know." Quinn mumbled. "Obviously."

Brittany's arm, which was previously rubbing her back, was now around her shoulders, pressing her against the side of her body.

"What are you going to do, Quinn?" Santana asked seriously. "Because if you need money to –"

"No." Quinn shook her head. "I can't. I have to… I have to tell my parents. I just wanted you guys to know first, because you're my friends…." Santana smiled and Brittany squeezed her a little tighter. "…and because I need you there with me."

"What, telling your parents?" Brittany frowned.

"If… if you want… I'll be grateful."

"Of course we'll be there." Santana said loudly, a little too forcefully.

"Thanks." Quinn ducked her head shyly, biting her lip.

"We'll go get some snacks." Santana got up, tugging at Brittany's hand to make her get up from the bed.

"Uh, okay… do you guys want something?"

"Orange juice." Rachel and Quinn said at the same time, and looked amusedly at each other.

"And cookies." Quinn grinned, tension momentarily leaving her body. She tensed when the door closed, leaving her and Rachel alone in Brittany's room. "Rachel…"

"You don't have to say anything."

The controlled emotion on Rachel's voice still unnerved Quinn.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just… I didn't even think about them this past week." She bit her lip, still not daring to look at her friend. "And I didn't want you to find out like this…"

"You have no reason to apologize." Rachel shook her head.

"But I –I told you I didn't want to keep things from you… remember?" She had to look up when her question was followed by silence.

"So why _didn't_ you tell me?" Rachel straightened her back.

"I told you… I wasn't thinking about them…" Quinn knew what Rachel really wanted to hear, and even though she swore she wouldn't acknowledge what had happened until she was ready, this situation called for her to do whatever Rachel needed her to. "I also… didn't want to hurt your feelings even more… It didn't really work, did it?" She chuckled self-loathingly.

"I…" Rachel took a deep breath. For all the fake bravado she put up, wanting Quinn to acknowledge all her reasons, she felt like her throat closed when she tried to talk about her feelings. "Look, I'm your friend, Quinn. Your _best_ friend. I know I'm… that I shouldn't feel– I don't want _that_ to come between us somehow. I can handle whatever happens in your life, and I _want_ to. You don't have to keep things from me because it might… hurt my feelings, because they're not the only ones I have for you. Do you understand? Of course they're there, and a significant part of what I feel… but I'm your friend, first. I've always been and I'll always be. No matter what. Right?"

Quinn blinked back tears and took a deep shaky breath through her mouth. It was too much for her to handle, she wished she could just be _ready_, she didn't know what else she needed. The best she could do was open up her arms and let Rachel walk to be at her reach, hugging her waist. Rachel's hands immediately ran through her hair, and she felt comforted by the thunderous sound of Rachel's heart against her ear, and the warmth and gentleness of her belly, the smell of her.

Brittany and Santana didn't say anything when they came back to find Quinn and Rachel stretched on the bed, Quinn resting her head on Rachel's chest and sitting between her legs. With cookies and orange juice and pop music from Brittany's IPod, listening to their silly gossip and general natural callousness and the feel of Rachel against her, Quinn was glad of still being able to feel like a somewhat careless child. Like a teenager.

* * *

Judy and Russell had a routine on Saturdays, which he always tried to have free from work, at least on the day hours. They always had a glass of scotch while Judy made a cake and then they ate it with coffee. During the years in which their daughters actually wanted to spend time with them, the two always had chocolate milk, which upgraded to coffee when they were older. Russell was a busy man all his life, and despite his own wishes to have the family always having dinner together, sometimes he didn't have time on his hectic schedule for eating at the table. Saturdays were, in turn, time to spend with his family. Lucy Quinn had forgone to share that time sometimes; she was a teenager, after all, and her parents weren't more important than her friends or boyfriends. Although sometimes, even (or specially) when they were younger, she and Rachel spent those times with them gladly and talked galore.

When Rachel stayed over on Friday, Russell assumed the four of them would be spending that time together, and he was glad. He loved Rachel for all the things she had done for his daughter even on her harder circumstances. He had never realized how lonely and utter-shy his daughter was until Rachel came along and changed all of that. God had put her in their path, and he was forever thankful.

Quinn received Santana's text that she and Brittany were a block away from her house and stood up nervously from her bed, smoothing out the inexistent wrinkles on the skirt of her dress. Rachel looked up from her book and frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Santana and Brittany are here." Quinn said anxiously, biting her lip.

"It'll be okay." Rachel got up from the bed, hugging Quinn with one arm.

Quinn turned sideways and pressed her cheek against Rachel's shoulder, taking a deep breath. She nodded.

They walked down the stairs and opened the door, Brittany throwing herself at Quinn and wrapping her in a hug.

"Hey." Rachel smiled at Santana, who was stoic. She took her hand and gently pulled her inside. "Don't worry, Santana."

"I'll see if I have to worry." Santana mumbled, eyes roaming all over the house.

Brittany took Santana's hand and squeezed, stretching forward and kissing Rachel's cheek.

"You guys, uh… go to the living room." Quinn said nervously, chewing her lip and squeezing the hem of her dress with both hands.

"We got your back." Santana said seriously. "You know we do."

"Thanks." Quinn smiled. "It's okay, Santana."

"Stop telling me it's okay like I'm some crazy person." She rolled her eyes.

"Okay." Quinn smiled once more. She walked into the kitchen where her parents were drinking scotch and laughing, Russell with the newspaper and Judy adding strawberries to a cake. For a moment, she allowed herself to lean against the doorframe and watch them. Her dad was reading a critique aloud and they were both laughing. The smile slipped off her face when her mother put the cake in the oven and turned around, catching sight of her.

"Quinnie." She smiled, knowing how much it annoyed her being called that way.

They were both a little confused as to why they weren't allowed to call her Lucy anymore, and so they recurred to teasing her a little about it. Quinn loved them more for that.

"Hi." She bit her lip.

"Did you just get up?" Russell frowned a little disapprovingly, looking at her from the top of his newspaper, but then he smiled. "Do you want something to eat?"

"No, Daddy. I'm fine."

"Are you feeling unwell?" Judy frowned, walking to her and resting a hand on her forehead. Quinn closed her eyes and breathed deeply, she felt like a little kid even though she had outgrown her mother by a few inches already.

"I have to talk to you." She breathed out, opening her eyes when the hand on her forehead left her.

"Okay." Judy nodded.

"But… not here." Quinn bit her lip and looked at her dad, who had already left the newspaper on the kitchen island. "In the living room?" It came out as a question, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

Her parents nodded and so the three of them walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, where the couch was already occupied by Brittany and Rachel, with one space in the middle, and Santana sitting on one of the armrests next to Brittany.

"I hope you haven't murdered someone and need my services." Russell said. It was obviously a joke, but no one cracked a smile and so he frowned. Apparently it was not a time to make jokes. He sat on the loveseat next to his wife and facing his daughter and her friends.

Quinn sat between Brittany and Rachel, who immediately took one of her shaking hands and squeezed. She saw Judy detecting the action with a concerned expression and took a deep breath.

"I…" She couldn't come up with something that made sense, like she was incapable of formulating a single coherent sentence. Her parents were frowning now, clearly realizing something serious was going on.

"Lucy Quinn." Russell said. There was no need for other words, he was clearly asking for an explanation, for her to elaborate.

"I made a mistake." She whispered. Rachel straightened beside her and Brittany put a hand around her shoulders. "I…"

"Lucy, are you in trouble?" Judy asked shakily.

"I'm pregnant." Quinn breathed out, looking wide-eyed at her parents.

Judy froze, mouth open and hands on either side of her legs, squeezing the loveseat cushion. Rachel's grip on her hand was painful. Her dad looked at her for a few seconds before standing up abruptly.

"Where does that Hudson boy live?" He growled. "I'll get my shotgun and kill him!"

Judy, who had tears in her eyes and was covering her mouth with one hand, shook her head and lowered her hand.

"Calm down, Russell, you don't even have a gun." She chastised him.

"I'm so sorry." Quinn tried to speak clearly and hold back her tears. "I'm sorry! Please don't –don't kick me out or –I… I can't get rid of it." She shook her head. "Please Daddy, don't h-hate me."

"Of course not." Judy exclaimed indignantly when Quinn said 'get rid of it'.

Russell was silent, staring at his daughter. His father's face came to him in that moment, the sorrow in his eyes and the regret when he told him once, and only once, how his brother had been disowned from his family when they were young, how foolish he had been, thinking that he would be coming back in no time, taking him years after that to find him when he was an adult. Family is irreplaceable, his father had told him. Your love for your family must he unconditional, equal to your love for God himself. Lucy was crying, and she was a child, he couldn't give up on her. Russell knew God put rough patches in life for a reason, and because He knew one was able to overcome them.

"Get up." He said. Lucy looked up at him with tears running down her cheeks. This situation shook his life, and it shook his faith, but this was his daughter. She was his family and fruit of his love. "Come here, Lucy." He said more gently.

She got up, glancing once at her friends. Rachel was wide-eyed, watching everything with hawk's attention, Brittany was biting her lip anxiously, and Santana looked ready to bolt in a second, to defend her if it was necessary. Quinn breathed out and looked at her father's face. His hand raised and cupped her right cheek, wiping tears that kept on running. He sighed, realizing it was futile, and instead wrapped his daughter in his arms.

"I thought you were still my baby." He said lowly, so no one else could hear. "I guess I was wrong." Quinn tightened her arms around him. "It's okay, Lucy Quinn." He pulled her back by her arms to look at her face. "That baby…" He looked down at her belly, still flat. He pursed his lips in contemplation, but his eyes were serious when he looked up at his daughter's face. She wasn't crying anymore, but her face was still glistening with tears. "That baby is a Fabray." He said resolutely.

Judy whimpered from her place on the couch and Quinn let out a big breath through her mouth.

"Daddy…"

"We have to take you to a doctor." Judy interrupted her. "H-how far…"

"Mom." Quinn said a little louder. "It's… the father… it's Noah Puckerman." Her dad's hands fell from her arms. "It's not Finn."

"But I thought you were dating him…" Judy frowned.

"I am." Quinn looked down at her feet.

Russell took a few steps back and sat down next to Judy.

"Sit down, Lucy."

Quinn sat on her previous place and felt Rachel wrap an arm around her waist. She leaned her head on her shoulder.

"From now on…" Russell started, his voice stern. "You come straight here from school." Quinn nodded.

"You have to quit the cheerleaders, Lucy." Judy said softly. "Obviously you can't do physical effort."

"Okay." Quinn nodded.

"No more Glee club, either." Russell added.

Quinn felt Rachel's shoulders slump next to her.

"Please, Daddy, Glee club –"

"You'll quit it." He interrupted.

"But they need me." She implored, not daring to raise her voice. "They can't compete without me, and it's Rachel's club…"

Her dad looked at Rachel briefly, face softening a little.

"We'll think about it."

"Okay." Quinn breathed out. It was better than nothing.

"And that… Puckerman boy." Russell made a face. "I want to speak to him. _And_ his parents."

"His mother." Rachel clarified quietly. Russell nodded.

"He doesn't know yet, Daddy." Quinn mumbled.

"You need to tell him." He pursed his lips. "I'll go to your school on Monday to talk with the principal; I expect to meet him then."

"Okay." Quinn said resignedly.

"And that Finn boy, honey…" Her mother shook her head.

"I'll tell him." Quinn hung her head.

"He wasn't very bright, when we met him…" She said sorrowfully. Russell chuckled a little. "But he seemed nice." Her husband hummed, disagreeing. "I appreciate… you coming here to accompany Quinn." Judy said politely to Brittany and Santana. "But I think she needs to be alone today. I'm very sorry."

"It's okay, Mrs. Fabray." Santana got up from the couch and pulled Brittany up with her, letting go of her hand after. Quinn had to admit she was a little impressed by her manners, maybe because, after all the tension, she realized nothing bad was going to happen. She would be pleased if her parents had won the trust of Santana Lopez.

Rachel got up from the couch as well, one hand behind her because Quinn hadn't let go yet.

"You can stay, Rachel." Quinn said nervously.

Russell opened his mouth, but Judy nodded before he could say anything.

"Yes." He said either way.

Rachel sat down again, tucking her skirt under her legs, and let Quinn crush her hand.

Judy got up from the couch to lead Brittany and Santana out, and they stayed in silence until she got back and sat down again.

"How far along are you, Lucy?" Judy asked a little shakily.

"Seven weeks." Quinn mumbled.

Judy nodded.

"We need to make an appointment with the doctor."

Russell leaned back against the couch and covered his face with one hand, sighing.

Quinn looked down shamefully.

"What did you say about that Glee club thing?" Russell asked without opening his eyes.

Rachel looked at Quinn, who once again had tears in her eyes while she looked at her father.

"Glee club needs twelve people to compete." Rachel answered instead. "We're nine so far, counting Lucy."

Russell sighed again, but opened his eyes with a small smile.

"Okay." He nodded. "You can stay, Lucy." Quinn smiled and got up from the couch, sitting next to her dad and wrapping her arms around him. "Only because it's Rachel's club." He added.

Rachel beamed.

There was a faint smell of smoke.

"Oh, no!" Judy exclaimed, getting up from the couch. "The cake!"

* * *

Quinn called Finn on Sunday, after Church. Even though she wasn't in love with him, breaking up would be hard, especially because of the reasons. She knew she would break his heart by telling him she cheated, but it was too late now for regrets of that sort. She had bigger –growing– things to worry about. She just wished he could forgive her, some day.

"Hey babe." He grinned, getting out of his truck.

She was waiting for him at her front door, and cringed a little when he called her that. For more than one reason now.

"Hi Finn." She smiled a little.

He bowed down to kiss her, but she moved back a little and he frowned.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." She nodded. "But… I have to talk to you." She bit her lip.

"Here? Can't we just go inside? I'm a little hungry, maybe –"

"I'd rather not."

"Okay..." He frowned.

"I… made a mistake, a few weeks ago." Quinn looked up at him to see his confused –more than usual– expression. "I –I cheated on you."

Finn stepped back, opening and closing his mouth.

"I'm so, so sorry, Finn."

"Don't cry." He mumbled. "Don't cry! _You_ cheated on _me_! Why are _you_ crying?"

"Because I'm sorry." She gasped, trying to hold back the tears. "You I know I didn't –I would never –"

"But you did! It doesn't matter if you're sorry or not!" He raised his arms in frustration and kicked her mom's flowers.

"I –I thought it did." She sniffed. "I don't want to hurt you, I'm not like that." Quinn shook her head.

"I don't know." He said through gritted teeth. "I don't know how you are anymore."

"Finn…" She started. When he looked at her but didn't say anything, she took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

He gaped at her once again, and she hoped the glistening on his eyes were not tears.

"This… this is too much." He said lowly. "Who is –I mean, with who?"

For a brief second of madness, Quinn thought about Rachel, and how she would've corrected him. _"It's 'whom', Finn. With whom." _ She bit her lip as to not smile inappropriately and frowned.

"It doesn't matter." She shook her head.

"It does. I want to punch his face." He growled.

"Finn, don't." She sighed. Her tears were drying and instead she felt a little annoyed. "I'm sorry."

"Just tell me who it is!" He screamed, kicking the flowers again.

She stepped back, a little scared, but just then the door opened.

"What is going on here?" Judy asked, intimidating. Her back was straight and her chin was high, she was the picture perfect wife, Quinn knew, but in that moment she also looked _fierce_, with her eyebrows raised. It didn't matter that she was wearing an apron and she had a little flour on her cheek.

"Nothing." Finn shook his head, suddenly realizing he was having an outburst right at the Fabray's doorstep and he was kicking Judy's flowers. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Fabray."

"I know you're angry, son. But you better leave now." Her tone left no room for discussions, not that Finn would say anything back, either way.

Nodding, he stepped away and walked into his truck. Quinn watched him disappear around the block and turned back, almost crashing into her mother.

"I'm so sorry, Mom." She sobbed against her shoulder. Judy had a tight grip around her. "I didn't mean…"

"I know, Honey." Her mother rubbed circles around her back, and her perfume calmed her.

"I screwed up." Quinn sobbed.

"Everybody makes mistakes, Lulu." She murmured against her hair.

Quinn felt her heart soar at her grandma's nickname, the one they used for her when she was a baby, one her sister brought up from time to time.

"I love you, Mom." She sniffed.

"I love you, too." Judy stepped back, tucking a lock of hair behind Quinn's ear. "I know I don't say it enough… don't… hug you enough…"

"It's okay, Mom." Quinn smiled. It really was.

They walked inside and into the kitchen.

"I bought some ginger ale." Judy said softly. "It's… good for you. For morning sickness."

"Thanks, Mom." Quinn took a can from the fridge and sat on a stool on the kitchen island.

"Perhaps we have… part of the fault." Judy said after a while.

Quinn looked up from her can and frowned at her mother.

"No, mom…"

"We should have… talked about those things. You know we have certain beliefs..." She shook her head. "We should have talked about boys… I just thought…" She frowned.

"It's not your fault. I'm not stupid, Mom. I know what happens when you have sex."

"Then what happened, Baby?" Judy was in front of her daughter now. She took one of her hands and held it. "What were you thinking? Are you… in love with that boy? Or –"

"No." Quinn shook her head with tears in her eyes. "I don't know." She shrugged helplessly. "I'm just… I'm so confused…" She sobbed.

"Oh, Honey." Judy breathed out. She wrapped her arms around Quinn and kissed her forehead. "We'll figure it out."

* * *

Russell had an early meeting with his mysterious client, as Quinn and Rachel referred to a particular client their dads didn't discuss in front of them, and he would talk to the principal after he was done, so Quinn was allowed to drive to school, picking Rachel up along the way. Her parents said they wouldn't let her use the car and would drive her to and from school themselves, but she was sure they would give up that punishment soon enough.

They walked into school to find a commotion in the hallway, cheers and shouting.

"Did you talk to him?" Santana asked wide-eyed, appearing suddenly amongst the mass of onlookers.

"To whom?"

"Finn! Puck! I don't know, they're throwing punches at each other!"

Before either girl could stop her, Quinn pushed her way between the people screaming and encouraging them.

"What the fuck, dude!" Puck was screaming with a bloody lip.

"How could you do this to me?" Finn grabbed him by his varsity jacket and pushed him against the lockers.

"What are you talking about?" Puck pushed him backwards.

"You were my best friend!" Finn screamed, throwing a punch.

"Stop it!" Quinn yelled, getting between them and opening her arms to make Finn step back.

Before he could react, Santana was grabbing him by the jacket and pulling him backwards.

"What's going on?" Puck frowned at Quinn, touching his bloody lip with the tip of his fingers.

"Quinn!" Brittany was suddenly next to her, panting slightly. "I'm so sorry!"

Quinn frowned at her.

"I didn't know Finn didn't know!" Brittany said anxiously. "If I'd known I would have told him I didn't know anything!"

Sighing, Quinn shook her head.

"It's okay, Britt. Don't worry about it." She smiled tightly and looked at Puck. "Come on, I have to talk to you."

Confused, Puck followed her through the halls and into the cheerios locker room.

"Sit down." Quinn pointed to a bench between the lockers.

Puck sat down without a word. She grabbed the first aid kit from Sue's empty office and sat down next to him to patch up his lip. He stared at her wordlessly until she was done.

"Did you tell him?" He asked at last. "About the party?"

She nodded, looking down at her lap.

"I'm sorry." He sounded sincere, and she looked up to meet his gaze. "I know we were drunk, but I –I thought about it for a long time, before. You're kinda hot, but it's not just that –"

"Puck…" She sighed.

"Really, I couldn't stop thinking about it after, because you are –"

"Pregnant." She interrupted him a little harshly. "I'm pregnant, Noah."

His mouth closed and he stared at her. After a minute, he seemed to blink again and swallow.

"Is… is it…"

"Yours." She whispered.

He rested his elbows on his knees and hid his face between his arms. Quinn watched him quietly for a few minutes. He wasn't shaking or making any noise, but she was still afraid that he was maybe crying. She didn't know what to say, but she could relate.

"I… I'm not getting rid of it." She said firmly, softly.

He looked up at her face and nodded after a few seconds.

"My Bubbe's going to kill me." He whimpered. "You're not Jewish!"

Expecting him to say anything _but_ that, Quinn laughed, and it made him crack a small, dazed smile. Then he ran a hand down his face and sighed.

"I'm not… I won't be some deadbeat dad like my own." He stated.

Quinn wanted to hug him, because he looked _so_ young, almost like the boy she knew in the skateboard. He looked like he was defying life, ready to prove it wrong.

"I know you won't." She said softly.

"I make money cleaning pools, and I can get a better job." He looked at the lockers, lost in thought. "We can –we can be together."

"What?" Quinn looked at him, wide-eyed.

"Yeah." He finally looked at her. "I know we started wrong –backwards, really– but…"

"No." She said softly, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Puck. But I –"

"Yeah, I know." He said resignedly. "I saw you."

"What?" She frowned. He couldn't possibly–

"At the party." He smiled. "You entered –"

"What is going _on_ here?" Sue's voice boomed against the walls. "Shameful –disgraceful! Q! How could you bring a stinky male failure into the locker rooms!"

"Coach." Quinn stood up straight. "I –"

"Get out!" Sue yelled at Puck, who scrambled to his feet and walked away, glancing back at Quinn just once before closing the door behind him.

"I was cleaning his lip." Quinn explained.

"Yeah, is that what you perverted kids call it now? _Cleaning lips_." She mocked, disgusted.

"Finn Hudson punched him." Quinn held the first aid kit in her outstretched hands.

"Excuses." Sue spat, but Quinn knew she believed her.

She also knew she had to talk to Sue and quit the Cheerios, but somehow she couldn't dare to. Sue had told them it was blood in and blood out when they made the squad.

"Get out of my sight, Q." Sue ordered.

Quinn nodded, handing her the first aid kit on her way out.

Rachel, Brittany and Santana were waiting outside for her.

"Did you quit?" Brittany asked.

"No." Quinn shook her head, linking her arm with Rachel as they started walking. "She scares me, no matter how much I pretend she doesn't when she screams at me through that bullhorn."

"I can go with you." Santana offered.

"No, it's okay." Quinn shook her head. "I know the right person." She stopped by her locker and Brittany and Santana walked away to class.

"What did Puck say?" Rachel asked, leaning against the lockers and watching Quinn get her books out.

"That he wasn't going to be like his own dad." Quinn smiled sadly. "That he would get a job."

"That sounds like the right thing." Rachel said encouragingly.

"I know." Quinn sighed, closing her locker and resting her forehead against the cool metal. "I just… wish he wouldn't be in this situation because of me."

"He has part of the blame."

"I… asked him, you know." Quinn mumbled, looking at her from the corner of her eye. Rachel frowned. "I… asked if he was using protection… and he said yes." She frowned.

"What?" Rachel asked incredulously, scandalized. "How dare he!"

"Rach." Quinn sighed. "Rachel! It's… it doesn't matter now, does it?"

"Yes, it does!" Rachel screeched. "I can't believe he would do that!"

"He… I think he…" Quinn grimaced. "You know… he took it out, before…"

"Ugh." Rachel grimaced. "He should know that doesn't guarantee anything!"

"It doesn't?" Quinn frowned.

Rachel looked at her for a few seconds without saying anything, and then her shoulders slumped.

"I'm sorry I screamed at you." She sighed. "It's just… _why_ aren't you mad at him?"

"I am." Quinn said resignedly. "But it doesn't matter now. And if we're… if I'm having… a baby with him." She puffed out some air. "I shouldn't dwell on it. Neither should you."

Rachel frowned and pouted a little.

"I guess… if that's what you want."

"It is." Quinn smiled, stretching her arm and taking Rachel's hand to pull her forward.

"Okay." Rachel sighed begrudgingly.

"Thank you." Quinn started walking down the hall, her hand still on Rachel's. When they had to turn different ways on the hallway, she pulled her in and kissed her cheek, walking away without giving her time to react.

Rachel walked dazedly to class.

In third period, Quinn got an awkward, bad written text message from her Dad that he was about to meet with the principal and would be waiting for her outside his office when the bell rang. She didn't know what they would be talking about there, but her legs kept bouncing and she couldn't stop chewing on her lip from nerves, until she had to get up and ran from the classroom to go vomit in the bathroom, trusting that Brittany would get her stuff.

From all the TV she'd watched, she always thought morning sickness was kind of a myth –something they used to make pregnancy more dramatic or traumatizing for younger people, and oh how wrong she had been. Morning sickness was real, and it was also noon sickness and afternoon sickness. Sighing, she walked to the principal's office and leaned back against the wall.

"Ms. Fabray." Principal Figgins opened his door and eyed her up and down, lingering on her stomach with a disapproving frown. Quinn felt her stomach turn with indignation. "Your father, ah, I sent him to speak with Ms. Pillsbury. Perhaps you should meet him there."

Quinn walked –practically stomped– away without a word, clenching her fists with anger. When she reached the councilor's office, the bell rang and students started filling the hallway. Her Dad stepped out of the office with a moisturizing towel between his hands and nodding politely at the woman inside.

"Quinn." He stopped right in front of her. "Are all the teachers in this school this… insane?" He asked incredulously.

"Hi Daddy." She reached up to hug his neck for a few seconds and giggled. "No, not everyone."

He smiled down at her.

"Okay, I talked to them about possible doctor appointments that may interfere with your school schedule." He put an arm around her shoulders and they started walking. "Your mother or I have to pick you up if you have to leave early. I also asked about programs in case you have to stay in bed or something of the like…"

She nodded, feeling comfortable under his arm and protected, especially when he talked about her welfare. But suddenly, as they walked by the cafeteria, Puck walked out and shouted at her before seeing who she was with. She knew her parents would meet Puck and his mother eventually, but that didn't mean she was ready.

"Quinn! Wait up…" He trailed off, lowering his beckoning arm when he saw Russell's face and his arm around her and immediately connected the dots. She saw him mutter some curse word.

"Noah Puckerman?" Russell asked. He moved his arm away from Quinn and stretched it out in front of him for Puck to shake. Puck's entire arm and shoulder shook when their hands met. "What happened to your face?" He asked sternly.

"Uh… Finn punched me." Puck answered awkwardly. Quinn thought his legs were shaking.

"Good." Russell nodded, and Quinn looked up at him incredulously. He smirked at her. "Since you are a minor, I cannot do it myself, but I'm glad someone else got the satisfaction."

Puck looked at her wide-eyed and then at her dad, dumbfounded. He nodded.

"Tomorrow, at seven o'clock, I expect you at my house for dinner. We'll talk about… things, and then I'll drive you home and speak to your mother. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir." Puck nodded.

Quinn pressed her lips to hold her smile.

"Good." Russell nodded. "That's it."

Puck looked at them for a few seconds before realizing he was allowed to leave and practically bolted away.

"He's Jewish." Russell shook his head, but Quinn could see he was a little amused, and so she smiled and hugged him.

"Could you… do me a favor?" She asked when she pulled back. "Help me with something?"

"What is it?" He frowned.

"I still have to quit the Cheerios." She mumbled. "But the Coach… she scares me… I don't want to do it alone."

"Of course." He nodded. They started walking again. "Why does she scare you, Lucy?"

"She's… well… she's insane." She admitted.

"I'm a lawyer." Russell smirked at her. "No one is crazier than me."

Quinn smiled, relief flooding through her as she hugged his arm and they walked down the hallway.


	10. Colliding

_I'm really sorry but for personal reasons I don't know if I'll be able to update next week. So if an update doesn't come up, I'll update the next weekend or perhaps some day during the week. I'm sorry._

* * *

She never thought she would think it, but entering the school without a cheerleading uniform was still weird. Even after two months, she felt smaller, although she was technically getting bigger. People sometimes still turned to look at her, but now most of all they _stared_. She felt like they were waiting impatiently for her to start showing, to make the rumors true. So far no one was really sure why she'd quit the cheerios; Sue hadn't talked about it, and the only people who knew were the Glee club. It still unnerved her, how important they'd become in such a short time. Now that they qualified to compete, what with Puck joining to be close to her on his Mom's orders and bringing some of his football friends, they had started to rehearse more numbers and having more reunions and Rachel was already planning a get-together brainstorming session for Sectionals. They were all good kids, the kind of friends she dreamt of having when she was little. They were all a little odd, but it was what made them special. They were _talented_, and she could only imagine how much they would improve if they stayed together all through High school.

What made her happier about Glee club, though, was Rachel. Since the first time she'd heard her sing, Quinn knew Rachel was a star. She belonged doing whatever she chose, because she was amazing. Seeing her now, in her element, helping Mr. Schuester arranging choreography or someone improve their voices or their pitch, made her be a little awestruck. Rachel knew what she was doing, and seeing her do it made her heart beat faster, every time Rachel stood in front of everyone and sang with all her might it made Quinn shudder. They seemed to be past that little awkwardness they had after the New Year, but she knew it had been there because of her. Slowly but surely she was working up the courage to tell Rachel how she felt.

Quinn had a feeling everyone already knew, everyone except Rachel. Kurt, who was one of the Glee kids and had recently admitted he was gay (not that everyone didn't know already) one time threw her a mischievous look while they were rehearsing a dance number and Rachel was singing. He subtly pushed her against Rachel's back when they came close together. Rachel had laughed and wrapped an arm around her waist, and Quinn blushed while Kurt winked at her. Santana's lewd comments were not subtle, and she threw them in front of everyone without care. Brittany always chided her, but with a non-convincing giggle. Rachel remained impassive through it all, smiling or laughing and shaking her head at Santana, and even though she didn't want to think it, Quinn couldn't help but be a little insecure. What if Rachel didn't want to be with her anymore? What if she had waited too long and Rachel's feelings _did_ pass? What if now _she_ was the one with the unrequired feelings and Rachel was happily oblivious? Quinn liked to think that she'd always known how she felt, but the truth was, she had never seen reality until it hit her in the face. She had never realized her true feelings until Rachel had tried to kiss her on New Year's Eve. From then on, it had been an internal battle, a struggle with herself. Finn hadn't really helped in the end, at least not the way she wanted him to. She knew how he felt, but couldn't reciprocate. It was nice to know that he went past her looks and got to know her and still liked her, which was her biggest fear: that he wouldn't. That he would look past her body and hair and realize she was this weird, loser kid, the way she had felt her whole life. It hadn't happened, but she still couldn't bring herself to feel that tingle in her stomach and that ache to kiss him, like it happened when Rachel was too close to her and she could smell her perfume. It made it worst to feel her warmth, but it was something Quinn could not help but seek. And still, Quinn was afraid. She'd hurt Rachel before and couldn't deal with doing it again. Was she hurting Rachel now, by making her wait? Would she hurt Rachel if she told her her feelings and they were not reciprocated anymore? She couldn't help but feel unworthy of Rachel after everything that happened and with her situation now. If she could only be brave enough.

Puck got her out of her reverie when he tried to grab her arm and help her stand up. Frowning, Quinn threw him a look and took her arm back. Glee was over and it was time to go home, Quinn knew Puck was supposed to take her and that his mom was already at her house. Every time Puck's little sister had ballet, his mom went to Quinn's home to spend time with the Fabrays, so they could get to know each other while Quinn spent time with Puck. It was obvious that they were never boyfriend and girlfriend, barely friends, but their mothers insisted that they had to really get to know each other if they were raising a baby. It always made Puck's mom shake her head, murmuring _'kids raising kids'_, and Quinn got the feeling that, if it was up to her, she wouldn't be having this baby. Still, she was a supportive mother, even though the decision was not something she agreed on.

Rachel appeared next to Puck and threw him a reproaching look, even though he had done nothing wrong. Puck rolled his eyes and started to walk away, and Quinn smiled and took Rachel's hand when she offered it, not really using it to get up but holding onto it either way. They didn't let go until they were at the parking lot, Puck's car already running and waiting for them. Things at home with Ms. Puckerman were a little awkward, and Quinn didn't have much to talk about with Puck after a few minutes until he started playing with his Nintendo or fell asleep at the couch. Sometimes, when they got together on Wednesdays and those were Rachel's day off from her week activities, she tagged along. Quinn had a feeling, and that was that Ms. Puckerman liked Rachel more than she liked Quinn, surely because she was Jewish, and because she always entertained them at dinner while Quinn kept quiet or smiled at her plate.

Every Wednesday night, when the Puckermans and the Fabrays had dinner and Rachel offered to go (Judy had told her time and time again that she was always invited, any day), she was always the one that entertained their parents with tales of school and Glee club while Puck nodded awkwardly and Quinn smiled. It was a relaxing moment when their parents' focus wasn't on them, and it was fun to see Rachel to excited and the adults so attuned with her. Sometimes Rachel would talk to Madison about ballet, and it was perhaps the only time Quinn would speak up for more than ten seconds. Her mother always tried to make her talk more, tell her things about her day, and it was her father the one that always smiled and rested a hand on her shoulder when she would duck her head shyly. Quinn couldn't help it; after so many years, she still wasn't good with meeting people, and knowing that Puck's mom didn't approve of her and that his sister didn't think she was something special made her nervous. Having Rachel only helped so much.

Rachel casually took her homework backpack when they got off the car. Quinn knew she would hit Puck in the head if he tried it, but she could only smile a little at Rachel and pretend that nothing was going on. Despite morning sickness and a little tiredness sometimes, Quinn still felt the same. She didn't felt heavier or bigger and she could do everything on her own, but having Rachel help her was more than about that. It warmed her, and somehow made her think she was being silly by thinking Rachel's feelings had changed. She may have been blind before, but she noticed the looks now. Sometimes she would smile at Rachel and have her smiling back, and she would just know they were thinking the same –how beautiful they'd always been, how beautiful they'd grown up to be, how lucky they were. It always took her breath away to share those furtive, brief seconds with Rachel, and she wondered if she was the only one to see them for what they really were. But during those times at home, she couldn't help but wonder why Rachel would want to be there, if she wasn't hurt at all. She knew Rachel was probably tired of answering the same questions every time, but Quinn just didn't want to cause her any more distress.

Puck's mom was already inside, helping Judy in the kitchen. Puck greeted both of them before grabbing milk from the fridge and sitting in front of the TV. Quinn frowned and followed him while Rachel stayed in the kitchen to help Judy chop vegetables. Quinn still wasn't sure where Rachel stood with Ms. Puckerman, if she liked her or not, but she noticed a bit of forced politeness that was weird in Rachel when she spoke with the woman. With Judy, however, Rachel had always been all smiles and kindness, and Judy always treated Rachel more lovingly out of all Quinn's friends.

"Turn the volume down, please." Quinn said to Puck through gritted teeth after twenty minutes. He was watching a football game loudly and she was trying to read. "Don't you have homework?"

Puck shrugged, turning the volume down.

"Could you move your feet?" Quinn shrieked when he stretched along the couch with his socked feet inches away from her leg.

Puck rolled his eyes and put his feet on the carpet.

"And change your socks some time this month." She grimaced.

"Take a chill pill, Q."

"Don't call me that! And don't tell me to –ugh!" She got up suddenly, running along the couch and towards the downstairs bathroom.

"Shit." Puck muttered, turning off the TV and following her steps.

When he got there, Quinn was heaving in the toilet and Rachel was holding her hair up delicately, rubbing her back.

"I'm sorry I made you upset." He said awkwardly.

"Go away!" She yelled, lifting her head up for a second.

Rachel made a face and sighed.

"It's okay, Noah." She said softly, but her face was hard.

Frowning, Puck moved away from the door but rested his back next to it, looking ahead at the wall. Quinn made a few noises and then there was some rustling.

"It's okay." Rachel said softly, and the toilet flushed.

Water was running and he was sure Quinn was washing her face and raising her mouth.

"I'm okay, Rach." He head Quinn mutter. Rachel said something so softly he didn't catch it. "His socks, ugh, they smelled. It was disgusting." Quinn complained afterwards.

They giggled and that kind of made him want to smile, except he felt a little bitter that Quinn didn't laugh with him. He knew it was stupid, but he wished Quinn would trust him at least a little. Maybe lying about using protection hadn't started them on the right foot. But he wanted to make it right, if only Quinn would let him.

"At least my nose didn't bleed like last time." Quinn was saying, and he frowned. He wanted to know these things, but Quinn didn't confide in him like that.

"Do you think he's trying?" Rachel asked softly.

His heart was beating faster for some reason.

"I know he is." Quinn said lowly.

"So will you give him a chance?"

"I have to. Despite everything, when this baby is born, it'll be half of him."

Puck swallowed tickly, he simultaneously wanted to keep listening and run away.

"Hopefully not his mohawk." Rachel sounded like she was smiling.

So she was joking?

"Are you sure you're okay… being here? You know you don't have to –"

"You're not making me do anything, are you? I'm not made of glass, not everything hurts me –"

"I hurt you."

Puck frowned. Somehow the conversation turned into a direction unknown.

"I've forgiven you."

"I haven't."

"Well maybe it's time you should."

"You know nothing is going to happen with Noah, right? Never –"

"I know. But you don't have to explain."

"I want to."

"Noah made a mistake; he's going to live with the consequences for the rest of his life. I won't hold a grudge to him anymore, it's pointless."

"That's a nice way of talking about my baby." Quinn said jokingly.

"You need to stop worrying about me."

"That's like saying I need to stop _breathing_."

"Quinn…"

There was a sigh.

"Rach?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I'm brave?"

"I know so."

"I think you're very brave, too."

"We're tough."

"Rach?"

"Stop it. What?"

"There's nothing more graceful than being worthy of forgiveness."

"Well, you are."

"That's what my grandmother used to tell me."

"I think I'll try." Quinn spoke again after a minute.

"That sounds fair." Rachel said gently.

Puck pushed himself away from the wall and walked down the hallway to the kitchen. Mrs. Fabray was sitting on a stool, fiddling with the radio while sauce was heating next to her on a pan.

"Noah." She said when he walked into the kitchen. "Your mom went out to pick up your sister."

"It's okay." He said awkwardly. "Do you need help, uh –"

"You can take the dishes to the table." She said politely. "They're in the third shelf." She added with a smile.

Rachel and Quinn entered the kitchen while he left with the dishes.

"Is there ginger ale on the fridge, mom?" He heard Quinn ask before walking away.

He eyed the furniture and the decorations on the dining room once he set the dishes on the table. His kid would always know how different its two families were. Everything was more elegant at the Fabray house, more tidy and clean. His mom was a single mom, she was always working and he and her sister took care of themselves from a young age. In the Fabray house, Judy was always home, cooking something or reading a book, and it was obvious that she had more time to keep the house in check. Puck knew he'd disappointed his mother by getting Quinn pregnant, that she wished better, bigger things for him. He also knew she thought he was immature and was afraid that he'd abandon Quinn like his dad had done to her. He was ready to prove her wrong, to prove them all wrong. Already there was evidence that his kid was real, even if it was blurry and black and white. He never thought he could fall in love with something like that, but he did. He would prove to his mom that he could be better and bigger, even with a kid at sixteen.

Mr. Fabray was at the kitchen when he walked in once again. He was adding sugar to his coffee and smiling at his wife. They met eyes and he tried to hold his hard stare. It was scary how he could go from smiling at his wife to petrify him with a look and then kiss the top of his daughter's head warmly while he stole one of her cookies. She threw him a playful look of protest and he chuckled, smiling at Rachel before retreating to his study again.

"All set?" Mrs. Fabray asked him.

He nodded and stood there, a little awkwardly. Rachel and Quinn were talking softly to each other and smiling, and he felt like he should be somewhere else, but then Quinn stood up and walked to him, gently taking his arm and pulling him along. They entered the living room and she let go of him, but didn't sit down. He kind of wished her warm, soft hand was still on his arm, but he knew it was something dumb to be expecting. It didn't matter that they were having a baby, they weren't in love and had never been; he would be lucky if someone like Quinn, a gorgeous, unreachable girl, ever paid him any mind.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Quinn said softly, not quite looking him in the eyes. "I'm not… it's…" She sighed. "I'm cranky, lately." She mumbled. "Because I'm always tired. But that doesn't mean it's right for me to take that out on you."

"I'm sorry I was an ass." He said earnestly, trying so hard to say the right things. "And maybe it's right for me to take some of the backlash."

She ducked her head, hair obscuring her face, and he looked away to stop himself from reaching out.

"I know it still feels strange." Quinn said softly. If he hadn't known how she really was at school, he would have thought she was being shy. "Like it's not actually real… us having a baby. I mean, we're barely –"

"I know." He cut her off, nodding. He didn't want to hear it again.

"But then I remember that heartbeat." She smiled widely, eyes shining. He thought his eyes ought to be shining as well; it made him feel all kinds of weird to think about that first ultrasound, like his heart was pounding inside his veins. "You know…" She started, and Puck felt himself cling even to the sound of her breath. "I thought I felt something the other day." She said softly.

He frowned.

"Something like what? Good or bad?"

"Like…" She hesitated. "We were at Glee, and Rachel was –"She cut herself mid-sentence and blinked rapidly. "I –I thought I felt it move."

"The baby?" Somehow his heart had reached his throat in a second. "It kicked?"

"I don't know." She bit her lip. "I just… felt something."

"And just that one time?"

Quinn nodded.

"Look…" He started, giving pause to try and find the right words. "I know we'll never be… more than friends." His chest hurt a little bit, saying that. "But I want to make things right –with you, and with… the baby. I know it's not ideal, and that I'm not the best guy –"

"You will be." Quinn said softly. "You'll be the best."

"I won't ever be like my dad." He frowned, challenging.

"I know." Quinn rested her soft hand on his arm again and some of his anger slipped away. "You're here." She smiled.

He couldn't help but smile back.

"Yeah…" His chest swelled with a little pride, and her smile got a little wider. "I am."

* * *

The doorbell rang for the third time and Quinn felt her heart beating wildly inside her, little kicks inside her belly and the knowledge that no one was home. She bit her lip and turned around, sighing, and sat on the porch swing. She would wait. It was Tuesday and Rachel had ballet, she knew that, but it didn't stop her from grabbing her bicycle as soon as Puck dropped her off at home. Her mother would surely give her a mouthful about it later, but right now she didn't care.

Trying to calm her nerves was futile, instead she ran her hand along her belly to try and calm her baby, thinking _everything's okay_ and hoping it would work. Her hands stopped shaking and there were no more kicks, even though her heart was still racing. Everything was okay. She took deep breaths and looked up at the bright sky. It was the first day of spring and the flowers on Rachel's porch had been bright for a while and the red maple tree was bright and colorful. During autumn the grass was usually covered with red leaves, and in summer it gave great shade to read under. Quinn picked up a stray leaf next to her on the swing and twirled it between her fingers, making it dance around her belly.

It was instinct that made her lift her head to see Rachel walking towards her home, wearing her ballet leotard and sweatpants and a WMHS duffel from Quinn's freshman year of cheerleading. She stood up and walked to the top of the porch steps before Rachel noticed her, and the brunette frowned when she did. Quinn knew she must look anxious and worried, but she couldn't help it. Her arms hanged at her sides and she bit her bottom lip as she watched Rachel walk up to her.

"Quinn."

The blonde smiled for a moment, but then bit her lower lip again.

"Hi." She answered shakily. If only Rachel would come closer…

"Is everything okay?" Rachel went up the steps to stand in front of Quinn and the blonde smiled. Rachel smiled back, a little confused as Quinn took the duffel bag away from her and wrapped her in her arms. She could feel her heart beating strongly against her own chest and Quinn's warm breath against her neck. "How did the appointment go?"

Quinn squeezed her a little tighter then, her chest inflated with a deep breath.

"It's a girl." She breathed out, and then pressed her lips lightly to Rachel's slightly open mouth.

Rachel was dazed, and confused, and she couldn't help but gasp. Quinn sighed against her lips, brought her hand up to cup her cheek, and the only thing she could do was kiss back when Quinn pressed their lips together a little more firmly. Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's shoulders, too astounded and marveled and afraid that her legs would give in. Quinn clutched tighter to her after a moment, shuddering and pressing their cheeks together.

"Lucy…"

"We should go inside." Quinn said quietly.

Rachel nodded, but neither moved. Quinn was the first to laugh lightly, a little disbelievingly, and she kissed Rachel's cheek before pulling away, taking her hand and shouldering her duffel bag. Rachel was still staring at her once the door closed behind them, and Quinn ducked her head with a blush.

"I… I'll go get us some… orange juice." She finally mumbled.

"Okay." Quinn nodded shyly, biting her lip.

Once Rachel moved to the kitchen, Quinn left the duffel bag next to the door and walked to the couch, sitting there. Her left palm was still clutched in a fist, and she opened it to find a red leaf crumpled and broken.

Her heart was beating madly inside her once Rachel walked in with two glasses of orange juice and set them in the table in front of them. She daren't look up at her, and instead clutched the hem of her blue dress nervously, until hands appeared on her line of sight and pulled on them. She followed her hands on Rachel's until they were clasped together on Rachel's lap, and then looked up a little to find Rachel ducking her head with a little smile, trying to catch her eyes. Quinn smiled a little, biting her lip with the realization that she was being silly, and looked up at Rachel's shining eyes and slightly flushed face.

"Hi."

This time it was Rachel who ducked her head.

"Hello." She mumbled to her lap.

With a grin, Quinn tugged at their joined hands and rested them on her lap, and Rachel took them back again with a little, disbelieving laugh.

"Remember the first day you where at my house?" Quinn asked her softly.

Frowning a little, Rachel nodded.

"You were asleep." Quinn smiled. "And I still thought I had never seen someone so pretty."

"You looked like an angel." Rachel said quietly.

"I lied to you, when we were little. I never had any friends. That boy, Nick? He stopped talking to me when he saw nobody liked me."

"Quinn…" Rachel frowned.

"_You_ were my only friend." Quinn smiled sadly. "But I never wanted more… I –I knew there was no one better." She squeezed the hands on her owns. "And that's what I always thought… that you were my best friend, my only _real_ friend. Even when I met Brittany and Santana, I knew there was a chance that I would never see them again at some point in my life, but never you." She shook her head. "Best friends forever, right?" She chuckled.

Rachel nodded, looking down at their hands, a little dejectedly. Sighing, Quinn stroked a hand up Rachel's arm to the crook of her elbow and back softly and slowly, smiling at the goosebumps.

"I didn't realize how I really felt until you almost kissed me." She said, a little more quietly. Rachel looked up suddenly, opening her mouth but not really saying anything. "And I was scared. And I'm sorry that I hurt you so much because of that."

"_How_ do you feel?" Rachel breathed out.

"Like an idiot." Quinn smiled with self-contempt. "I thought…" She shook her head and took a deep breath. "That I was confused. That you couldn't _possibly_ like me that way… that if I told you that I liked you too, things would end badly. You or I would realize that… what we felt wasn't actually romantic and then I would lose you. You are… I thought you were the only good thing I had and I couldn't bear even the thought of losing you. So when Finn asked me on a date, I said yes." She breathed out loudly. "And he seemed nice, but he wasn't really bright or someone I could carry a conversation with, and I found myself looking forward to the end of our dates so I could be with _you_, instead. Even with Santana sometimes." She rolled her eyes and Rachel chuckled, swallowing the tears that were threatening to spill. "And all I ever wanted was to fit in. But… even when I did, it didn't feel good. I wasn't really myself, and I wasn't doing what I really wanted, and then…" She huffed, shrugging one shoulder. "At Puck's party, I was just _so_ tired… of lying to myself and hurting you… and not being brave. But when I tried to kiss you, and I really _was_ drunk." Rachel smiled a little. "I wasn't planning… I wanted to do things right, and I wanted to talk to you… _really_ talk to you, but I ruined it, and I panicked. I mean, I was still with Finn and you didn't know how I really felt." Quinn got quiet, then, and Rachel looked up at her in confusion.

Quinn had tears in her eyes, and she was looking up, taking deep breaths to try and hold them.

"Lu…?" Rachel asked tentatively.

Quinn took a shuddering breath.

"I'm sorry that I ruined things for us." She sniffled. Tears were running down her cheeks in spite of her best efforts to hold them. "I never meant for all this to happen. I didn't want to break your heart; I _never_ wanted to hurt you. You were the best thing to ever happen to me and I… I _hurt_ you. And I wasn't brave for you. And I'm sorry that I…" She breathed in shakily. "That I'm telling you this now, now that…"

"That what?" Rachel urged.

"That I'm like this." She gestured down to her belly. "That things are so complicated. I don't want to drag you into this mess. I… I wish I could have been braver sooner, but at the same time…" Quinn rested both hands on her stomach. "She's moving…" She whispered absentmindedly.

Rachel's hands appeared next to her own, rubbing little circles for a moment and then moving, one to cover Quinn's left hand and the other stroking up Quinn's right arm.

"What if I don't care?" Rachel asked, a little defiantly, and Quinn's head snapped up to look her in the eyes. "Do you think I'm ever going to be out of your life?"

Quinn frowned.

"That's not what I…"

"Do you think I won't be here to support you every step of the way?" She frowned. "This isn't a chore, Lucy. Above all, you're my friend. Don't think I've forgotten the countless nights you've hugged me when I was crying until I fell asleep, even when you were miles away." She smiled ruefully, tearfully. "And we were just kids then. And now… we won't be kids anymore. That's going to happen either way, whether I get to kiss you or not, no matter what we are, friends…" She shook her head, breathing sharply through her nose and not finishing her sentence.

"But I…"

"I think I've always loved you." Rachel said quietly. "And I don't think I'll ever stop." She shrugged. "And I've been in love with a blurry picture for a while as well." Tears fell down Quinn's cheeks. "I'm going to spoil this baby rotten no matter _what_… and no matter what _you_ call me."

Quinn took Rachel's right hand and settled it over her heart.

"There wasn't a day when you didn't make me feel like this." She licked her lips. "Does it feel like true love to you?"

"It does." Rachel nodded, crying as well.

Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck, suddenly very close. Rachel could once again count the specks of gold in her eyes.

Their lips lingered a hair away, ghostly brushing when Quinn spoke.

"May I?" She whispered, and Rachel breathed shakily against her lips.

She licked her lips and bit her lower one while she took a deep breath. This was happening. Quinn's scent kept her mind fogged.

She finally nodded.

The soft and warm pressure of Quinn's lips was suddenly against her own, followed by Quinn's gasp after a few seconds. Rachel whimpered and kissed her again, a little more firmly this time, until their lips parted to brush against each other's.

Quinn's hands were cupping her neck, and she moved her hands more firmly around Quinn's waist and her lower back, pressing their bodies together as best as she could. Her lungs were burning with the breathtaking kiss, and so she moved her head to hide between Quinn's shoulder and neck, finding her lips a breath away from that skin. Unable to contain herself, she pressed her lips against Quinn's neck and hands were suddenly holding onto her hair. She pressed delicate kisses where she could reach as Quinn's breath steadily increased until she gasped.

"Oh wow." And took a deep breath... "That's never felt so good." Emboldened, Rachel opened her lips to suck soft skin, humming at the sweet sunshine taste. Quinn's hands grabbed onto her hair tighter and she dragged her open lips to below Quinn's ear.

"Come back, come back." Quinn breathed out, gently moving Rachel's head to reach for her lips.

When their tongues met, she could feel a soft noise coming from the back of Quinn's throat and she smiled. She was suddenly aware that they had time, and she slowed her kisses to soft, deliberate strokes of her tongue, making Quinn hold onto her shirt and squeeze her tight. There was a firm baby bump pressing against her when their stomachs pressed together and Rachel smiled onto the kiss.

_It's a girl._

* * *

"I'll get it!" Rachel practically bolted from her room and ran down the stairs when the doorbell rang.

"I couldn't even if I wanted to!" Leroy screamed from the kitchen, hands full of dough and face and hair covered in flour. He shook his head. Tomorrow, his daughter had a big choir competition and she had been running up the walls all day. He had called and practically begged the Fabrays to let Quinn stay the night, and Judy had chuckled, saying Quinn had been following her around the house all day begging for the same thing. The Fabrays were very strict with their daughter's schedule now, and for good reason. She had to eat well and take care and rest, but Quinn was being reasonable about it; with a few exceptions, like today.

Rachel took a deep, composing breath before opening the door. Quinn sounded a little upset over the phone, but she'd said she was okay. Rachel tried to believe her, but she had to really see her first, to make sure.

"Hi." Quinn smiled when the door opened, turning around and waving at her father's car.

Rachel moved to look behind her and waved as well, smiling widely at Mr. Fabray. As soon as he was gone she tugged at Quinn's hands gently and closed the door behind them.

"Hi you." She beamed, a little wider when Quinn ducked her head shyly for a moment. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Quinn smiled with a little, confused frown, and looked behind Rachel to make sure no one was there before gently kissing her lips.

"Are you sure?" Rachel raised her eyebrows, left hand taking Quinn's and right hand resting on her belly. Quinn nodded, smiling a little. "How are you?" She asked softly.

"We're fine." Quinn answered warmly, a small smile playing on her face as she tilted her head down for another sweet kiss.

"I love you." Rachel whispered gently against her lips, smiling when Quinn rested her free hand atop her own on the baby bump.

"We love you too." Quinn whispered back.

"Have you been kidnapped?"

Both jumped from Leroy's shout from the kitchen and Quinn laughed nervously while Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Yes Daddy!" Smiling, she took Quinn's duffel bag and left it at the foot of the stairs. "Did you bring your costume?"

"Of course." Quinn smiled.

"Vitamins?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Yes, Rachel." Quinn smiled amusedly.

"A pillow for the ride?"

"Um… what?" Quinn frowned.

"For your back!"

"No." Quinn stressed, narrowing her eyes in mock threat. "I won't take a pillow, Rachel."

"At least a cushion!"

"Forget it." Quinn chuckled, walking to the kitchen and widening her eyes at the sight of Leroy and immediately knowing they were going to eat take-out when the food experiment went wrong.

"Hello ladies." Leroy smiled.

"Hi Mr. Berry."

"Are you sure there's just one in there?" He narrowed his eyes at her belly.

"Daddy!" Rachel shrieked. "You can't say those things!"

"I'm sorry! You're just bigger, Quinn, that's all."

"Please close your mouth." Rachel narrowed her eyes, settling both hands on Quinn's stomach to gently turn her around. "You look beautiful." She whispered.

Quinn flushed and bit her lip, eyeing Leroy who wasn't paying attention to them anymore, or at least pretending not to, and then smiling at Rachel. _Thank you_, she mouthed, and Rachel nodded.

Despite saying otherwise, Quinn was quiet during dinner, picking at the Chinese food with her chopsticks and being a little distracted. She was quiet at school as well, and Rachel had asked her if she wanted to rest instead of rehearsing for the last time before Sectionals, but Quinn had shook her head and said she felt just fine.

Quinn hugged her arm and rested her head on her shoulder when they watched a movie with her dads after dinner, but she had also been fidgeting with the ring around her neck, a habit Rachel knew she had when she was nervous. She had seen her do it during tests and before doctor's appointments.

She didn't say anything while they changed into their pajamas for sleeping, but when Quinn lay there quietly, biting her lip and staring at the ceiling, she couldn't contain herself anymore.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" She whispered in the dark.

"Mmm, not really." She could hear her breathing. "Are you?"

"A little bit, yes." Silence. "Lucy…"

"What?" Quinn's hand fumbled a little in the dark before finding Rachel's.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Frannie's getting married next month." Quinn answered instead.

"Really?"

"Yeah. You're invited, of course. And your dads. I expect you'll be getting the invitations in the mail soon enough."

Rachel frowned. Quinn didn't sound so happy.

"What's wrong with that? Do you… not like Chris anymore?"

"Of course I like him." Quinn grumbled.

"Then what…"

"She said you were like our sister."

"What?" Rachel frowned, propping herself on her elbows and turning her head to look at Quinn.

"When Frannie called, she said she'd send you and your dads an invitation, because you were practically family and you were like our sister."

"Lucy…" Rachel said softly. "She just doesn't know…"

"She knew before." Quinn said bitterly.

"That doesn't make sense." Rachel sat up, turning on her bedside lamp.

"I'm not stupid, Rach. I know my sister. She knew how we felt. All that talk about not knowing how lucky we were…" She huffed, rolling her eyes which were suddenly full of tears.

"I don't understand." Rachel frowned, gently wiping a tear from the corner of Quinn's eye with the back of her index finger.

"It's obvious!" Quinn sat up as well, the covers falling off and piling around her stomach. "I'm pregnant!" She cried. "And of course she doesn't think we'll be together! I'm having a _baby_, and you –"

"And I what?" Rachel narrowed her eyes warningly.

"You have a future, Rachel!" Quinn cried, tears running down her cheeks and falling onto the comforter. "You have dreams, big dreams since you were four and I'm… I'm only going to hold you back! You don't deserve this; I can't do this to you." She shook her head, sniffling.

"You're right." Rachel nodded, and Quinn breathed in sharply, blinking rapidly. "I've had dreams since I was four, and they included Broadway, and being best friends with Barbra Streisand and marrying Gene Kelly." Quinn frowned and shook her head. "And then my dad got sick, and I dreamed of traveling to the Land of Oz and asking the wizard to cure him." She shrugged. "I have lots of dreams, but dreams change."

"No." Quinn protested, but Rachel cut her off with a look.

"I know I'm going to New York once I finish High school, and I know I'm going to be on Broadway. Do you think I'd ever let something get in the way of that? Do you?" Quinn shook her head. "Dreams change. You've been in my dreams nearly since the moment I met you. Just because this got… unexpectedly more difficult, doesn't mean I'm giving up." She ducked her head to catch Quinn's eye. "Do you think I'm strong?"

"You're the strongest girl I've ever met." Quinn answered quietly.

"So I'm strong." Rachel smiled. "I can face the odds. But you've been my other half since we were little, and I _need you_ in order to be strong. I'm not afraid to admit that, and that I feel incomplete without you. Do you think that's wrong? Or that it makes me weak?"

"No." Quinn shook her head. "I need you, too. Always."

Rachel scooted closer, kneeling in front of Quinn and resting her hands on the baby bump before ducking her head to meet Quinn's outstretched head and exchange the sweetest of kisses.

"You're part of my strength now." She whispered against her lips.

And Quinn wasn't sure if she meant her or both of them, but somehow she already knew the answer.

Rachel turned off the light and threw the covers over them, scooting closer and hugging Quinn with one arm over her belly, hand resting on her lower back.

"Lucy?"

"Hmm?" Quinn bumped their noses together.

"You _do_ know everything you did for me back then, right?"

"I know." Quinn mumbled, kissing her lips.

"Good." Rachel smiled sleepily onto the kiss.

"You saved me." Quinn whispered.

"It is a pretty big deal." Rachel hummed.

"At least for me." Quinn smiled, pecking her again.

"Save the cheerleader, save the world." Rachel mumbled drowsily against her lips.

Quinn snorted.

"Dork."


	11. A New Star

_I hope this makes up ;) Happy if you're enjoying. _

* * *

"Mr. Schue, Artie's chair is stuck on the bus ramp!"

"All I'm saying, Mercedes, is that those shoes are not fashionable, not even for a bus ride."

"…and at the last second I ripped off his head –"

"Uh-huh…"

"Maybe you shouldn't tackle with your left shoulder, man; it's always the same thing…"

"If I feed the ducks at the pond, will they follow me home?"

"And _all_ these kids can sing and dance?" Russell frowned, looking worriedly at Finn Hudson trying to get the wheelchair kid on the bus.

"Yes, Daddy. You'll be impressed."

"We can take you in the car, you know." Judy was looking disapprovingly at the bus driver, who had apparently _misplaced_ the keys and was looking frantically everywhere, now laying flat on the concrete and looking under the bus.

"It's part of the experience." Quinn shrugged. "We'll probably sing and have fun."

"You can't run in the hall if the bus is moving, Dear –"

"I can't barely run at all, don't worry."

"Then how on Earth will you dance?" Russell frowned. "I think this is a bad idea, they can find someone else –"

"Dad! Please, I'm not completely useless…" Quinn whined.

"That's not what he meant, Sweetheart." Judy patted her hair, throwing a warning look at her husband.

"Yes, that's not what I meant. I'm just worried…"

"Thank you, but really, I'm okay."

"You've gotten overprotective." Hiram appeared next to them, chuckling and carrying Rachel's duffel bag.

Leroy patted him on the shoulder, pressing his lips together and shaking his head in mock-concern. Russell smiled uncomfortably until Rachel appeared to distend the situation, as always.

"Finn says he remembers the steps _'okay'_." She sounded frantic and everyone frowned.

"Okay is good." Judy supplied tentatively.

"Okay will not get us to win! We need _perfect_."

Quinn rested a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

"We'll tell Britt to go over the steps with him again once we get there." She said softly.

Huffing, Rachel crossed her arms and shook her head.

"He can't even _dance_."

"She doesn't exactly like him in Glee Club." Quinn supplied to the adults, who looked puzzled.

"I thought you said he was a nice boy." Leroy frowned at his daughter.

"Well, I _had_ to say that when he dated Quinn." She explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But now Mr. Schuester, unsurprisingly, wants him to sing every lead with me when Noah's voice –"

"…Is the voice of the angels." Puck grinned, throwing his arm around her shoulders.

Ms. Puckerman appeared next to him as well and smiled tightly at everyone.

"Are you whining about Finn again?" Puck smirked.

"He sings poorly, can barely dance…" Rachel said though gritted teeth.

"Well, once we win this, I'll tell Mr. Schue I want to sing at Regionals. You know how he won't be able to deny my enthusiasm and willingness to participate or some lame sh –thing like that."

His mother narrowed her eyes at him.

"Thank you, Noah!" Rachel grinned.

"Why don't you take your things to the bus?" Ms. Puckerman said, a little sternly. "And Quinn's."

"And mine, while you're at it." Rachel beamed.

Russell smirked discreetly.

"Thanks." Quinn mumbled when Puck took the bag resting between her and her dad.

Puck winked and brushed his hand lightly across her belly before walking away, and Quinn tried not to make a face.

"Time to get in, everybody!" Mr. Schuester screamed once Artie was successfully inside the bus.

"We'll be right behind you!" Judy screamed at Quinn, who was already walking away with Rachel.

"They're being weird." She scrunched up her face.

"They're just worried." Rachel smiled, letting Quinn get in first.

"It's just a bus ride."

"Get in, Tubbers! Rachel's checking out your butt!"

Santana's face peeked from behind one of the seats when Quinn looked down the aisle and rolled her eyes with a blush.

"Shut up." She muttered.

"I was not!" Rachel frowned from behind Quinn, grabbing her waist to make her walk forward.

"You totally were." Brittany grinned next to Santana on the window seat.

"You couldn't even see me, Brit." Rachel rolled her eyes. "As a matter of fact, neither could you, Santana."

Santana shrugged with an amused smile.

"You're too easy to make fun of."

"Brittany, when we get there could you and Mike maybe go over the steps with Finn once more? I don't think –"

"If it makes you feel better, sure, but I don't think I can get any more from him." Brittany shrugged.

"Which is not saying much." Santana smirked.

Rachel leaned back in her seat with a sigh and dropped her head to Quinn's shoulder.

"She should count as out twelfth member." She said tiredly, resting a hand atop Quinn's stomach. Quinn chuckled. "I bet she's already a better dancer than Finn."

Quinn hummed, turning her head to kiss her forehead.

"It'll be okay." Rachel grumbled. "Right. We'll be perfect, I promise."

* * *

"This is a disaster!" Rachel screamed as she threw open the green room's doors and stomped inside.

"Someone leaked our song list!"

"I'm going to have a serious talk with Sue later –"

"Later it won't matter, Mr. Schue!"

"It had to be you!" Mercedes growled, pointing at Santana. "You're Sue's minions. I always thought it was so sketchy, you being with us losers."

"Hey." Santana stood up with a growl. "I'm here because of my friends, okay? And I'll kill you if you tell anybody, but I like being in Glee club! It's like the best part of my day." She shrugged nonchalantly. "We didn't do it."

"Um, actually…" Brittany frowned. "I did."

Santana turned around to look at her, mouth hanging open.

"What?" Quinn asked quietly.

"I didn't know what she wanted it for!" Brittany shrugged.

"You're such a –"

"Watch it." Santana narrowed her eyes at Finn, and he cowered even if she was two heads shorter than him.

"We're screwed." Puck threw himself onto one of the couches and banged his head against the top of the backrest.

"I'm so sorry." Brittany turned to Rachel with pleading eyes.

Rachel smiled sadly and shook her head, and Quinn saw the tears gathering in her eyes.

"Wait, we're not giving up." She frowned. "We can still perform."

"N-not with t-t-those songs." Tina argued, and Quinn's eyes narrowed for a second at the fake stutter.

"Then we'll sing other songs." She shrugged.

Rachel turned her head sharply to look at her. Puck stood up from the couch and nodded.

"Right, there are other songs we've rehearsed a million times."

"Mike and I could arrange a simple choreography." Brittany supplied meekly.

"Is there another song you could sing?" Rachel asked Mercedes, who shook her head.

"You have to do it, Rachel."

"But you–"

"There's no other way we could win now."

"There _is_ a song I've been preparing since I was four…" Rachel said tentatively and Quinn grinned.

Mike and Brittany, along with Santana and Matt made a circle in the middle of the room once everyone decided on the new songs.

"It'll be okay." Quinn said quietly. "Perfect, even."

Rachel smiled, turning her hand to grasp Quinn's and squeeze.

"Thank you for this."

"It's not just me, it's all of us. Right?" Rachel nodded. "What are you going to sing?"

"You'll see." Rachel smiled mysteriously.

"All right, let's go over the group songs at least once." Mr. Schue clapped his hands.

Santana rolled her eyes at Rachel.

"As if he came up with the solution."

Chuckling, Rachel grabbed Brittany's arm and walked to the rest with her, squeezing softly. Brittany kissed her cheek before they started singing.

Quinn closed her eyes when the music started playing, somehow looking at the curtain made her dizzy with nerves and anticipation. But then Rachel's voice traveled through the walls and her eyes snapped open, her entire body erupted with goosebumps and she shuddered. All this time, every time she'd heard her sing, it had never sounded like that. It was the first time she truly heard Rachel perform, perform to _win_. It almost made her lose her breath. She recognized the song immediately, not being able to count how many times Rachel had made her watch _Funny Girl_. She even knew some parts of the movie by heart (although Rachel knew the entire thing). Yet somehow it felt like a different song, like it was the first time she heard it. The baby was moving and kicking and all she could think was _I know_. She couldn't believe Rachel was _hers_, in any sense of the word. She smiled at the thought of Hiram and Leroy on the other side, of her parents' surely astounded faces, of _everybody's_ faces. If that voice didn't get them victory, nothing would.

Santana had to nudge her shoulder when it was their cue to get in position, and she had to fight the urge to run to Rachel and kiss her senseless when the curtain opened and Rachel announced them. The entire performance was a rush of colors and noise, which got even louder when the curtain closed to deafening applause. Everyone was so excited Rachel even hugged Finn, although she made a face when he held on for a second too long. Brittany wrapped her in her arms and Quinn squeezed as much as she could, but really her mind was somewhere else. She didn't need to know who it was when a smaller, warm hand took hers and pulled. Grinning from ear to ear, Quinn walked as fast as she could behind Rachel until they entered a room with costumes and props.

"That was –_you_ were –"Quinn stammered before Rachel cut her off with a breathtaking kiss.

She backed into the door and held Rachel's face delicately as she pressed their bodies together as much as she could.

"We're going to win." Rachel said breathlessly, and Quinn nodded with her hands still tangled in her hair.

"Again." She mumbled before joining their lips more softly this time. Rachel's hands stroked the back of her neck and tugged at the knot of the red ribbon on her head until it loosened and she slid it off.

"Someone's excited." Rachel smiled softly, moving her hands down Quinn's arms to her belly.

"She hasn't stopped since you started singing."

"Good taste." Rachel beamed, spreading kisses along Quinn's cheeks and nose until their foreheads knocked softly together.

"Are you girls here?" Kurt's voice sounded from the other side of the door.

Rachel unwrapped her arms from around Quinn's shoulders and took one of her hands, tugging her forward and moving her away from the door.

"Yeah, come out!" Santana snickered.

"You first." Rachel smirked.

Kurt watched them, mouth hanging open.

"What were you guys doing there?" Finn frowned.

"Painting their toenails." Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"Come on, they're announcing in five minutes, y'all!" Artie said excitedly.

"Did you all five had to come and get us?" Quinn frowned.

"I came with missy here." Santana pointed back with her thumb to Kurt. "The rest just followed."

"But why would you paint your toenails just now?" Finn asked confusedly. No one answered.

Rachel could see her dads waving frantically in the audience as she held Quinn's right hand and Brittany's left. She smiled nervously at them and tried to pay attention to the judge, but all she heard was the blood on her ears, which made her slightly dizzy. She didn't realize they had won until Brittany was hugging her waist and lifting her up, spinning and making her legs fly in the air.

* * *

The bus ride back home was full of cheering and singing. Mercedes sang the song she couldn't perform on stage and they took off from there, Puck with his guitar and Finn banging the seats with his palms and fists. Mr. Schue stopped trying to calm them after ten minutes, realizing their buzz from wining would be impossible to turn off at least until they got home. No one noticed Quinn and Rachel hadn't participated in the madness, and didn't see them sitting quietly on the back of the bus.

Quinn's legs were stretched out on Rachel's lap and her arms were around neck, resting her back against the window. For a while Rachel was content to just rest her ear on Quinn's chest and listen to the sound of her heart beating steady, but she couldn't help herself from breaking the silence.

"Tell me a secret." She mumbled against Quinn's cheek before kissing it.

Quinn turned her head subconsciously to give her more room, but Rachel rested the bridge of her nose lightly on her jaw line and waited. Quinn frowned while she mulled over the request.

"I want to kiss you."

"That's not a secret." Rachel smiled amusedly.

"Please." Quinn mumbled with a small smile.

Sighing exaggeratedly, Rachel lifted her head and offered Quinn her cheek. Quinn pressed her lips there and lingered, feeling the muscles tighten when Rachel smiled and then smiling herself when the brunette turned her head to join their lips together.

"Tell me a secret." Rachel mumbled again.

"I don't know any."

"An old secret, then."

"Hmm." Quinn narrowed her eyes. When she bit her lip, Rachel knew she was thinking of something.

"There it is." She smiled and Quinn blushed.

Quinn grabbed one of Rachel's hands to play with her fingers while she spoke.

"At Puck's party, when we were on the hammock, I… y-you were very warm." Rachel raised an eyebrow expectantly. "And you smelled like strawberries." She blushed. "I couldn't help myself." She whispered.

"Is that the secret?" Rachel asked thickly. Quinn bit her lip and shook her head.

"Had we been somewhere else, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself." Quinn thought Rachel's look might set her on fire, but just then the bus stopped and Mercedes appeared next to them, retrieving her bag from the shelf above the seats.

Quinn gently extricated herself from Rachel's arms and set her feet on the ground, giving Mercedes a smile, which the girl returned conspiratorially.

Rachel grabbed her duffel bag and walked silently behind Quinn, and they walked to their parents, who were already waiting for them on the school's parking lot.

"I hope it's no problem if I stay over at your house." Rachel said politely to Mr. Fabray.

Quinn looked at her in surprise, but didn't say anything.

"It's alright, since you won." Russell grinned.

"Then we'll see you tomorrow, big star." Leroy kissed Rachel's forehead and Hiram hugged her, then they both got into the car.

"So what's next?" Judy asked them from the passenger seat.

Quinn sat next to a window behind her and Rachel next to the other window behind Russell, their bags between them and their hands clasped on their laps.

"Regionals." Rachel answered excitedly. "We have to start practicing as soon as we can. I know Mr. Schue can be a little sidetracked sometimes with his unnecessary custom of teaching us life lessons, but –"

"He does what?"Russell frowned, still looking at the road.

"He thinks he needs to give us life lessons through songs." Quinn explained. "Like, when Finn threatened to leave Glee because of Puck and me, he made us sing _Beatles_ songs."

"I'm afraid I don't see his point."

"Neither did we, Mom." Quinn chuckled.

"We should have seen what kind of people taught in that school before we enrolled you."

"Yeah, well…" Judy trailed off.

Rachel smiled amusedly at Quinn, but blushed and ducked her head when their eyes met. When the bus had stopped before she only wished the trip home could have been a little longer, and the seats a little more private. Now her body was just humming and her chest was full of tingles and all she wanted was to be out of the car and away from Mr. and Mrs. Fabray.

"Would you like celebratory ice-cream?" Judy beamed at them when they got inside the house.

"I think I'd rather go to sleep." Rachel yawned exaggeratedly, and Russell frowned a little.

"Are you sure? You know there are always vegan things for you to eat here."

"It's okay, really." She shook her head with just a little apprehension.

"I'm not hungry." Quinn smiled tightly, already heading for the stairs.

"Not hungry?" Judy mumbled like it was foreign language.

Russell opened his mouth to speak, but Rachel and Quinn were already walking up the stairs.

"You would think they'd be hungry and exited after they won." Judy frowned.

"It was definitely odd." He nodded, but then shrugged. "More ice-cream for us?"

"And adult drinks." Judy beamed, and he followed after her with a smile.

"I'll go brush my teeth." Quinn mumbled as soon as she walked into her room.

Rachel nodded even if no one was looking and quietly closed the door behind her. She left her duffel bag by the door and crouched down to grab some pajamas. Then she straightened up, bit her lip and waited for Lucy to come out. Her heart was beating fast against her ribcage and she didn't need to think why. It hadn't calmed fifteen minutes later when she was laying down next to Quinn, looking up at the ceiling.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked quietly in the darkness.

"Yeah."

"Are you still thinking about it?"

"Yes."

"I can tell."

Rachel smiled and rolled to her side, propping herself above Quinn with a hand against the mattress.

"I couldn't help myself on New Year's Eve because you looked so cute in that dress."

"I wanted to kiss you that time Brittany made us watch _Imagine me and you_."

"That was totally on purpose." Rachel smiled. Quinn nodded. "Last fourth of July… when we shared a blanket on my backyard."

"I wanted to kiss you then, too." Quinn said quietly.

"So that's four kisses you owe me." Rachel bit her lip.

"Five, if you count right now."

"Oh, I'm counting." Rachel mumbled before pressing their lips together.

Her breath was already scarce since the bus ride; somehow her breathing hadn't completely calmed and neither had the beating of her heart. Kissing Lucy was never the same than the last time; her taste always amazed her, her warm breath always made her dizzy and their tongues brushing made her head spin. She clutched to the sheet beneath her palm when Lucy's hands traveled up her back and tangled in her hair, and she had to pull away to take a deep breath. But lips were on her throat and she knew she would never get it back. Warmth traveled up her back and to her face, but somehow it made her shiver, and the last of her breath slipped away from her when a tongue brushed her collarbone. She didn't know how she was still alive without breathing, but she knew she would be as long as the arms around her stayed there.

"What about the day you sat on my lap on Mr. Pierce's car because we wouldn't fit otherwise?" Quinn asked breathlessly on her ear, and it took almost a minute for Rachel to know what she was talking about.

"Take off your shirt." She mumbled. When she opened her eyes, Quinn was looking at her with her mouth open. "I-I mean… I would –if you –we…"

"You would?" Quinn smiled a little, like she was trying to refrain. Rachel blinked, then nodded. "You first."

Rachel bit her lip, eyes wide. Quinn smiled softly and pushed her to lie on her back.

"We don't have to do anything." She mumbled against her mouth before kissing it, and then kissing her cheek.

Rachel arched her back and turned her head to find Quinn's lips, sliding her hands underneath Quinn's shirt and resting her palms fully against the skin of her back.

"You do it." She mumbled.

Quinn pulled away to look at her.

"Rachel…"

Rachel sat up and raised her arms above her head. Quinn bit her lip and clutched the hem of her pajama shirt, tugging it up, watching as inch by inch of flat stomach appeared, then a bra. Rachel's hair ruffled and some fell over her eyes when the shirt was off, and Quinn smiled while she brushed it away, kissing one of her blushing cheeks quickly before pulling away and lifting her arms.

Rachel raised herself on her knees and pressed their stomachs together, warm skin against warm skin. The soft skin of her forearms brushed her neck and her minty breath ghosted over her mouth.

"You're too soft." Quinn mumbled, breathing shallow.

Rachel smiled a little, kissing Quinn's cheek and down the side of her neck while her hands stroked down her spine and settled on her lower back when her lips reached the top of a breast.

"I can feel your heartbeat." She said before kissing the skin underneath her lips.

"It's yours."

* * *

This was supposed to be a happy day, Rachel was sure. Everyone was running around, mumbling to theirselves and chattering excitedly. Quinn was nowhere to be seen. Judy and Russell were supposed to leave early to arrange things with the church and the reception and the party, and Rachel knew Judy had her bags packed _a week ago_. Just yesterday, Quinn didn't know where she'd put her new shoes. Clearly, she wasn't as excited or happy as everyone else.

Rachel frowned when she slowly opened Quinn's bedroom door after knocking five times to see no one inside. Quinn wasn't in her parents' bedroom or in neither of the guestrooms nor the bathrooms. Rachel stomped her bare foot on the grass when she didn't spot Quinn on the backyard, and was stomping inside when she heard muffled music from Russell's study. He was upstairs showering, and Judy was making phone calls in the kitchen, so Rachel's frown turned into a little smile when she pushed the door open and saw Lucy sitting on the old pleather armchair, big headphones on connected to the record player and the vinyl cover making precarious equilibrium on her stomach.

Pressing her lips together to contain her smile, Rachel walked inside and in front of Quinn, facing her. It took a few seconds for Quinn to open her eyes and spot her, lowering herself in the seat and covering her face with a _The Supremes_ cover. Laughing silently, Rachel shook her head and bit her lip, moving forward to crouch in front of the blonde and gently taking the earphones off of her hears to hang around her neck.

"What are you doing?"

"Running a marathon." Quinn grumbled. Rachel chuckled.

"_Seriously_."

"I'm just listening to music." Quinn frowned, rubbing a hand down her stomach.

"Really, really seriously, Lu. What are you doing?"

Quinn sighed and slumped back into the armchair.

"I'm hiding."

"From your Mom?" Rachel asked amusedly.

"Maybe."

"Remember when Frannie used to say she had _Godzilla wrath_?"

It was a comment meant to make her smile, but Quinn bit her lip and looked down.

"You were never excited about this wedding." Rachel said dejectedly, resting herself on her knees and tucking some stray hair behind Quinn's ear, moving her hand down to stroke her cheek.

"I know I'm selfish." Quinn grumbled. "I can't help it. I _want_ to be happy for her and instead I think about me."

"What do you mean?" Rachel frowned.

"I just… don't want to be at that party. I feel like everyone is going to be judging us."

"Us?" Rachel squeaked.

Quinn smiled for a moment, letting out a breathy chuckle.

"I meant me… and the baby."

"Oh." Rachel frowned, looking down at Quinn's bare knees. "But… no, Quinn."

"You know the nice side of my family." Quinn sighed, moving to the left to leave space for Rachel to sit next to her. She took one of her hands once she was settled and kissed it, leaving it to rest below her hand on her stomach. "Aunt Elaine isn't happy, I heard my mom talk to my dad about it. And I haven't really spoken to Frannie, you know… I just –" She sighed. "I just don't want to _be_ there."

"No one is going to judge you. They already know and they love you." Rachel ducked her head to meet Quinn's eyes. "And Aunt Elaine won't think about you as long as there's alcohol, as sad as that is."

Quinn smiled ruefully and moved forward to kiss Rachel's lips softly, hand trailing up and fingers tangling in the soft little hairs at the back of her neck.

"I'll be there with you, if it's any consolation." Rachel breathed out.

"It's a lot, actually." Quinn hummed, bringing Rachel's head closer to kiss her again.

"Where are you, girls? It's nearly time to go!" Judy's frantic yells got to them countless minutes later.

Sighing, Rachel kissed Lucy's lips for the last time and got up, offering her hands for Lucy to stand up as well.

"I'll go get my dress and stuff from my room." Quinn said quietly before letting go of her hand and walking up the stairs.

"There you are." Judy said breathlessly.

"Quinn is just going to get her bag." Rachel smiled.

"Where were you?" Judy asked distractedly as she moved things inside her purse. "I looked everywhere for Lucy all day."

"We were listening to music."

"_Here_ are your keys." Russell appeared from the kitchen, holding up some car keys for everyone to see.

"Oh, thank goodness gracious." Judy breathed out, taking them roughly from her husband's hand.

Russell raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything. Rachel was looking at him and smiling and so he winked.

"Where is my daughter?"

"Upstairs." Judy answered, exasperated. "She's been awfully absent this week."

Rachel looked down at the floor with a little frown.

"Rachel?" Russell asked, and she sighed.

"She's… she heard you saying that Aunt Elaine wasn't happy about the baby and now she thinks everybody is going to judge her."

Judy ran a hand down her face with a sigh and Russell pursed his lips.

"We just have to make sure she has a nice time." Rachel shrugged one shoulder.

"I should talk to her." Judy nodded.

"No!" Rachel lowered her hand and cleared her throat. "I mean, she'd be mad if she knows I told you. She already feels bad about it."

"Okay." Russell nodded. "A nice time. It's guaranteed."

"What are you doing?" Quinn asked with a raised eyebrow as she walked down the stairs.

"Waiting for you, dear. Chop chop!"

Quinn smiled lightly when Russell took her bag from her shoulder and they walked outside and into the car. Since it was five hours until the wedding, Rachel and Quinn would stay and get ready at the Berry home and drive to the church with Rachel's dads.

Quinn was happy to be rid of her family for a little while, having to confront the whole lot later at the reception and party. They drank hot vegan chocolate in the kitchen with Hiram while he went over some late paperwork and then helped Leroy combine his tie with his suit before getting ready themselves. Quinn walked out of the downstairs bathroom to find Leroy and Hiram ready and waiting for Rachel and her.

"You look lovely, Quinn." Hiram beamed as soon as he saw her. "You know you're not supposed to overshadow the bride, right?"

Quinn smiled shyly and blushed, ducking her head and leaning into Leroy's embrace. It was actually something that scared her, that everyone would be busy talking about the pregnant teenager instead of paying attention to her sister. Maybe she was being paranoid, but it was what enduring whispers and stares every day at school made her be.

It was a sight to behold when Rachel appeared at the top of the stairs with her light blue dress on and black ballet flats. Quinn opened her mouth and found she couldn't close it again. Her heart sped up and her face grew hot, and she suddenly felt like she was waiting for Rachel to get ready for Prom, and like she should have a gorgeous corsage to put on her wrist. Rachel was smiling, and looked at her for a second before looking away. It was the wise thing to do, who knew how many nanoseconds it would take the two Berry men to realize all their feelings when they looked at each other like they wanted to right now?

She felt like her traitorous pounding heart was beating everywhere inside her and was thankful when Leroy took his arm away to pretend to shield his eyes from something bright.

"You're _incandescent_, my darling." He said with a fake English accent.

Rachel laughed boisterously and Quinn couldn't help but beam, the tension momentarily leaving her at the sound of that laugh.

"Yes, positively glowing." Hiram added, walking towards the bottom of the stairs to take Rachel's hand as if to help her walk down, and bowing elegantly with a flourish of his right arm.

"Stop it!" Rachel laughed.

"You look very pretty." Quinn said quietly, trying desperately to minimize the worshipful tone of her voice.

Rachel smiled widely, but refrained from saying anything.

"We should get going." Hiram announced, picking up his keys from the key hanger next to the door. "If we're a _minute_ late…" He trailed off, running his index finger alongside his throat.

"Right." Leroy nodded with a little smile. "We'll meet you in the car, girls."

Rachel walked to the kitchen and Quinn frowned, following her with her eyes and thrown between going to the car and following her.

"Quinn!" Rachel called, and so her decision was made.

"Where are you going?" Quinn asked as she walked into the kitchen, looking for Rachel.

"Just here." Rachel beamed next to the door, stretching her arm and taking Quinn's hand, pulling her in and wrapping her arm around her waist and back. "_God_, you look…" She shook her head.

"You look like everyone is going to realize how I feel by the end of the night." Quinn mumbled, rubbing her cheek lightly against Rachel's. "How am I supposed to contain myself when you look like this?" She trailed kisses from her cheek to below her ear, lightly smiling at Rachel's breathing against her ear.

"Quinn…" Rachel trailed off, turning her head in search for her lips.

Quinn brushed their lips together to feel Rachel's warm breath against her lips before pressing them together. She didn't want to make it too long or there would be evidence of their different lipsticks on each other's faces, but that thought was left forgotten when Rachel cupped her cheek and her tongue brushed against her lower lip. There was a swirling in her stomach as they kissed, and dread crept up her spine at the thought of being caught, but that somehow made the kiss even more exhilarating. She dug her fingers lightly into Rachel's nape and couldn't help the noise that left her throat.

"We're late!" Leroy's near-shriek pulled them apart like an electric shock. "Come on, little girls!"

Rachel ran her hands down the skirt of her dress before throwing a playful smile at Quinn, gesturing for her to leave first.

"Sorry." Quinn said embarrassedly, not daring to look at Leroy in the face as she walked past him and to the car.

Rachel cleared her throat and let out a big breath before leaving the kitchen. Leroy was standing next to the door, keeping it open with the side of his shoe. He rested a hand on her arm as she walked past him and Rachel tried to keep a cool face. With a little smile, her dad ran the pad of his thumb down the corner of her lip. Rachel opened her eyes wide.

"We're late, Honey." He said quietly and smiled. "Go, go." He said more enthusiastically, slapping her but as she walked away, and Rachel hurried to the car without a word.

The shock got her to be still and quiet the entire ride, which turned out to be good because Quinn still had a mild case of the blues. Rachel sat sideways in the back seat, with her back against the secured door, and Lucy lay with her back against Rachel's front, two pair of hands tangled inextricably on top of the big swell of her belly. There was some rustling in there at some point, making them slightly more awake for the last of the ride, because they'd been dozing off, their heads knock against each other's during the bumps in the road.

Rachel fixed Quinn's slightly ruffled hair with a smile on the last three blocks, and Quinn said that Rachel was just as pristine as she had been when she walked down the stairs.

"We're here, girls." Hiram smiled as he parked the car.

Leroy got up first to open Quinn's side of the door.

"I'm going to take you to Prom some day, Rachel." Quinn whispered quietly in Rachel's ear before exiting the car.

Rachel took her father's hand with a dazzled, silly look on her face as she stood on the sidewalk. Her first two steps were a little unsteady until Quinn's arm rounded her waist as she laughed, making her walk forward. Rachel ducked her head, protected by Quinn's arm, and slapped Quinn's shoulder playfully with a blush. Her dads walked calmly in front of them, hands slightly brushing, which made her smile a little bigger and rest the back of her head on Quinn's collarbone.

They heard a little shriek from a block ahead where Frannie's limo was parked behind the church, waiting for everyone to arrive and for Chris to be in position. She had half of her body leaning away from the window, waving excitedly at them with a veil dangling from her left hand and dark sunglasses on. It was so Frannie that they had to smile and hurry up. Frannie got an amused little expression on her face, slightly covered by her sunglasses, when she saw them walking quickly but not running at her. It was a little different that when they were kids, and she wouldn't be able to pick her little sister up and twirl her around, at least not this _year; _although the thought of having a tiny new Lulu to pick up and twirl around was more and more pleasant every day. It hadn't been at first, but her heart had been warmed up slowly with pictures of sonograms and ultrasounds and tales of how she'd started moving.

She threw the door open and jumped outside the car despite her mother's protests and bit her lip as she stared at her little sister's slightly flushed face and shy smile. Frannie felt like her face would be split in half by her smile, and she wrapped her arms around Lucy's shoulders carefully and smelled the warm perfume she'd always had.

"I've missed you so much, Lulu." Frannie murmured, pulling away to look at her sister's face. "You look stunning."

"You're the one who's wearing a _wedding dress_." Quinn said beamed softly, looking down shyly.

"Hm." Frannie nodded. "I'm definitely the prettiest today. You can be second." She grinned.

"Deal." Quinn grinned.

"And _you_!" Frannie said, pulling away from Quinn and pointing at Rachel. "_Look_ at you."

Rachel beamed and laughed silently, waiting for Frannie to step away from Quinn to hug her.

"Congratulations." She smiled when they pulled away.

"And congratulations to our maker for making you!"

"_Frannie_!" Judy chided from inside the car.

"Relax, I didn't mean to sound creepy." She rolled her eyes.

"Are you excited?" Rachel raised her eyebrows happily, pulling away to stand next to Quinn.

"Am I excited? Think along the lines of meeting Barbra and Patti at the same time _while_ you're winning a Tony."

"Wow."

"I know." Frannie nodded, throwing a playful look at Quinn.

"Get inside, Frannie! Girls, go with Leroy and Hiram!"

"_Yes_, Mother." Frannie said through gritted teeth, and then stomped inside the car exaggeratedly.

"And _that one's_ getting married?" Hiram said playfully.

The benches inside the church were already crowded, but Quinn was supposed to be on the first row with her parents and grandfather and Rachel behind her on the second with her dads and Aunt Elaine and her husband. Everyone was smiling softly while Judy was crying, and Frannie hugged her Mom before walking down the aisle with Chris.

At the reception Quinn felt nothing but nauseous and a little dizzy, so she was thankful that all the relatives that were coming to hug her and speak to her were keeping her mind away from the smell of the food. So far no one had made her feel bad or disapproving, Aunt Elaine didn't congratulate her but she asked if everything was well and if it was either a boy or a girl. Grandpop Rhett, once he ended his always lengthy conversation with Rachel, stuck to her side for the rest of the hour, with a surprisingly strong arm around her waist and talking about every nonsense he could come up with.

The party was only two blocks away, so mostly everyone walked there in a little crowd, except Frannie and Chris and Quinn, at Judy's insistence, who rode in the front of the limousine next to the driver for an awkward minute and a half. By the end of the night, her face was flushed and her body was warm and she was a little breathless from all the laughing and a little overexcited from all the dancing. Her stomach didn't hurt in spite of all the eating, but her lips were a little (a lot) sore from making out with Rachel in one of the bathrooms for half an hour while everyone had dessert. The last hour of the party was spent sitting tiredly at one of the tables with Rachel and Chris' younger sister Cady, who had bright blue hair.

When her mother told her it was almost time to go, Quinn got up in search of Frannie, who was on Chris' lap, nearly dozing off.

"Hey." She pressed her lips together while she stood in front of her sister.

"Baby, are you leaving?" She asked tiredly.

"Yeah. Could we –May I –"

"What's wrong? Where's Sneezy?"

"She's –Rachel's with her dads, I just… wanted to talk to you."

"Sure." Frannie nodded.

Quinn stood quietly in front of her for a few seconds.

"She means the two of you alone, baby doll." Chris mumbled.

Quinn tried to contain herself from making a face at the nickname, which turned into her face making a funny gesture as she Frannie stood up.

"Shut up." She mumbled while she took her sister's hand and walked to an empty table. "Are you feeling okay?" She asked when they sat down.

"I'm perfect." Quinn shook her head, looking down with a little frown. "I've been wanting to tell you something for a while…" She looked up to her sister's expectant face. "No one actually knows, but you –I thought maybe you should."

"Okay…" Frannie trailed off, nodding.

"It's… you know Noah, right?"

Frannie nodded with a frown.

"Well not in person, but –"

"Yeah, and we're –he's not my boyfriend, right?"

"Are you asking me?"

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"What I mean is…" She sighed. "I'm… Rachel and I –"She looked down with a little smile. "I'm in love with Rachel, Fran." She finally said, looking up to fully meet her sister's eyes.

Frannie opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

"And –and she's in love with me. We're in love." Quinn finished, biting her lip but with a strong expression on her eyes.

"_Really_?" Frannie breathed out.

Quinn licked her lips and nodded.

"Well… I actually did see this coming until a few months ago –you know… with the…" She gestured down to Quinn's stomach.

"The baby." Quinn said firmly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I assumed." She shook her head; eyes still a little wide in surprise.

"I –I –I just wanted you to know."

"Lucy, hey." Frannie ducked her head, resting a hand on her sister's shoulder. "I'm happy for you guys. I kinda always knew, I don't know." She shrugged. "Like soulmates, you know?"

Quinn beamed, looking down shyly.

"At least you figured it out now, before it was too late."

"Too late?" Quinn frowned.

"You know, with college and all." Frannie pursed her lips. "Mom's waving at you." She said after.

Quinn turned around, still a little dumbfounded, and saw Judy waving at her that it was time to go.

"Frannie…"

"Go, and take care of yourself." Frannie said softly, kissing her forehead. "Listen to Mom and Dad and don't break Rachel's heart!" She said a little louder while she pushed her away.

Quinn walked with a blush to her parent's car and sat in the backseat next to Rachel. Her mom and dad were more permissive when it came to Rachel, mostly because they knew her from a very long time and she was practically family. Quinn didn't go out as much as she used to now, but she was almost always allowed to go to Rachel's and Rachel was always invited to her home. Frannie's comment was still swimming around in her head, and yet, there was no more comforting thought that knowing she would be hugging Rachel in bed as they slept while she was snuggled into Rachel's side in the backseat of her parent's car, feeling tired and boneless.

It was a little exhausting having to be fully awake and get out of the car just to go up and sleep again. Judy's make up was a little smudged and Russell's tie was loose, and the first button of his shirt was unbuttoned. Rachel's simple up-do was a little messy, with strands of hair loose and making her twitch her face as Quinn smiled softly and brushed them away. She didn't realize how close their faces were and how intimately they were looking at each other until her dad stopped the car in her driveway and the car's lights turned on.

They said goodbye quietly in the upstairs hallway, but Rachel grabbed Quinn's arms before she opened her bedroom door.

"I made something for you, just in case…" She mumbled.

Quinn frowned a little amusedly before opening the door and turning on the light. Her jaw dropped when she saw her bed, with a sheet hanged from the wall, and the record player on her bedside table.

"Our spaceship." She breathed out.

Rachel bit her lower lip with a smile.

"If you were sad tonight, I thought this would help." She shrugged.

"Don't worry, my _nice time_ was_ guaranteed_, right?" She smiled widely as she tugged Rachel inside by the hand and closed the door.

"You heard?" Rachel shrieked.

Quinn nodded absently, looking down at her lips.

"Thank you for doing this for me." She mumbled.

"Noah helped; I gave him specific instructions including how to climb up your window and what I would do to him if he ever did it again."

Quinn laughed breathlessly, looping her arms loosely around Rachel's waist.

"I told Frannie about us."

Rachel opened and closed her mouth.

"What did she say?"

"That she's happy for us." She shrugged. "That we're soulmates."

Rachel inhaled sharply before smiling and moving forward, stealing Quinn's lips.

"That was a really nice thing to say." She mumbled between kisses.

"Thank you, Rachel." Quinn said, pulling away from the kiss to take a deep breath.

"You had a nice time." Rachel smiled.

"I still needed this." Quinn mumbled with her cheek pressed against Rachel's and wrapping her arms around her.

They stood there quietly, Rachel stroking Quinn's hair and lightly holding her up. She stroked her hands on her neck and down her shoulders to her back.

"Take it off." Quinn mumbled when Rachel's hands moved up and down her back.

Knowing the order had been an innocent one, Rachel carefully tugged the short back zipper down and pulled the straps down Quinn's shoulders. Quinn stepped away to take her dress off and draped it over the back of her chair, waiting for Rachel to take off her dress and taking her hand to lay down on the bed under the protection of the sheet. She was ashamed of changing clothes in front of the Glee girls when they were back stage and even in front of her mother, afraid they would look at her stretch marks or would stare too much at her stomach, but those thoughts never appeared when she was with Rachel. She always treated her stomach like another part of Quinn and not like a ticking time-bomb that would explode at the slightest pressure like Puck did, and the small amount of times they had been shirtless with each other, she never thought she would enjoy Rachel's kisses to her belly as much as she did.

They were tired and sleepy, but unable to fall asleep yet because they had to get up from the car and that had woke them up, so they lay down on the bed and traded slow kisses while their hands roamed carefully, and Rachel was the first to fall asleep. Quinn watched her for a few minutes before following, Frannie's comment far away from her mind.

* * *

Quinn got up at nine in the morning to open the door for a freshly showered, fully awake Rachel. Quinn's hair was messy, strands were coming out of her low braid and she was pretty sure the left side of her face had pillow marks. Rachel kissed her cheek as she walked into her home and took her hand, leading them to the kitchen. Quinn moved noiselessly to the toaster and Rachel towards the oranges, and they made breakfast in silence.

Today was the day when they would transform the guest bedroom next to Quinn's room into a nursery. Already there were cans of paint on the hall and a disassembled crib on the backyard. Her parents had been up since six in the morning, only God knows why, and they were left to have breakfast alone. Quinn was leaning her head sleepily on Rachel's shoulder as she ate a toast, Rachel's arm supporting her around her waist when Russell walked into the kitchen for his mid-morning dose of coffee. He rested a hand on her big belly and kissed the top of her head in a good morning greeting before walking away, and Quinn smiled shyly at him. Rachel ducked her head with a little smile; Russell was more affectionate these days, and it seemed to be just what Lucy needed.

The house smelled a little like paint and bleach a few hours later, and Quinn covered her nose with her shirt as she walked from her bedroom to the kitchen downstairs. She could hear rough instructions and bangs and curses from the backyard where her Dad, Puck and Santana were trying to put together her old crib. She grabbed ginger ale from the fridge and sat on one of the kitchen stools, closing her eyes in a vain attempt to stop her head from hurting. Upstairs, her Mom, Rachel and Brittany were painting the walls yellow and some furniture white, and Quinn felt too irritated to help either of the groups. And anyway, she couldn't do any actual force with her arms and she couldn't be breathing all that paint in her room, so there was nothing else she could do but go sit in the living room next to the coffee table, folding and unfolding tiny sweet scented baby clothes. Someone occasionally sat next to her for a few minutes, sweaty and panting and drinking cold water before going again. Rachel looked more than cute with her overalls and braided hair and paint-smudged face. Quinn had to steal a few kisses from her before letting her go.

"I hate you both so much." Santana said as soon as she slumped next to Quinn on the couch, running a hand across her forehead. "You and your stupid crib."

Quinn chuckled.

"I have chocolate cookies." She offered, lifting the bag in front of her face.

"Saved." Santana eyed her, still a little annoyed.

"No one is forcing you to be here."

"Uh, yeah. Your girlfriend practically is."

Quinn smiled and looked down.

"This is pretty." Santana smiled, picking up white polka-dotted footie pajamas. She stretched them over Quinn's stomach and tilted her head, pressed her lips and nodded, eyes twinkling up at Quinn.

"You know your dad and the Smurfette's are handling my parents' divorce, right?"

"What?" Quinn asked wide-eyed, completely thrown off from the sudden change of subject.

"Yeah. I heard they're taking everything step by step so they won't fight and have everything blow up." Santana said quietly.

"I –I didn't know."

"I talked to Rachel about it months ago, but it wasn't her story to tell, you know?"

Quinn nodded.

"Yeah, that's alright."

"Anyway…" Santana shrugged dismissively. "I should go back."

Quinn nodded, stretching her legs and resting her head against the top of the couch, and suddenly the room was darker and Rachel was waking her up.

"Hey sleepyhead."

"Oh." Quinn mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "I think I fell asleep."

"I think you did." Rachel smiled. "Come on." She offered her hands.

"Where?" Quinn groaned, still taking Rachel's hands and standing up.

"Upstairs." Rachel urged, walking in front of Quinn with a hand firmly on her own.

Brittany, Santana and Puck were standing on one side of the closed door and her parents were on the other.

"You finished?" Quinn asked, wide-eyed.

Judy nodded.

"We put everything like we talked about, but we can move it again if you want."

Shaking her head lightly, Quinn pushed the door open.

The walls were a soft yellow and the furniture was painted white, just like her old crib, which had been previously her sister's. She still hadn't finished buying everything, but a fluffy teddy bear was resting on the crib's empty wooden slats.

"What's this?" She picked it up with a smile.

"It's from your grandfather." Russell smiled.

"Guys, this is perfect." Quinn beamed.

"He brought your grandmother's old chair as well." Judy pointed at the far corner of the room to a wooden rocking chair.

Quinn felt tears gather in her eyes, but stopped herself from crying.

"Thank you." She smiled instead, and hugged everyone one by one.

Rachel knew Quinn had been very attached to her grandmother when she was a baby, and that she'd died when she was five. Even now, every time she talked about her she got tears in her eyes, except when she proudly repeated things her grandmother used to say to her. So Rachel squeezed Quinn's shoulders when it was her time for a hug and kissed the skin of her neck that was right at her reach so no one would tell.

Everyone went home after they ate celebratory pizza, and Quinn waited until the light in her parents' bedroom was off to get up from bed. She could hear her father's snores in the quietness of the house and the wood floor creaking a little under her footsteps. She couldn't fall asleep thinking about that room and the quiet time she had with Rachel after everyone had left, folding tiny clothing and putting it inside the dresser. She sat in her grandmother's chair, the open window blowing inside a cool breeze and the moonlight illuminating the room. She tried to imagine herself here at three in the morning, holding her baby and trying to make her go to sleep. It was as dreadful as it was exciting. At this time of the night everything seemed possible and a little magical, so Quinn rocked herself back and forth in the chair, running circles on her stomach and thinking about warm little bodies, pink cheeks, soft arms and chubby hands. Sweeping her gaze over the room, she stopped at the empty shelf of the dresser and smiled. Getting up from the chair, she went back to her room, wincing every time the floor creaked but grateful her dad's snores didn't stop, and took a picture frame from her desk. She left it on top of the dresser back in the baby's room and went back to bed, a satisfied smile on her face and a feeling of warmth inside her chest.

* * *

Rachel tried to stop her leg from bouncing so much as Mr. Schue announced they were about to arrive. She was confident in all the time they spent practicing for the past two months once they decided on their songs, but it didn't stop her nerves. It was _Regionals_. But she couldn't lie, Lucy was eight months pregnant and she was worried about that, too. She had her head on her shoulder right now, soft blonde hairs tickling her cheek. She couldn't see her face to know if she was asleep or just looking out the window, so she didn't speak. Either way, she didn't think Quinn would appreciate being asked for a tenth time if she was feeling okay.

The bus stopped and everyone got up loudly, swinging their bags around and leaving the bus clumsily. It'd been a few days since Rachel had to start offering her arm for Quinn to hold on to while she gracefully but carefully got up instead of just having to tug her up more easily. Rachel was a little worried, but Lucy insisted she was okay to dance. The wait inside was unbearable, but at least Rachel was happy she didn't have to follow up Vocal Adrenaline, who were the best show choir of Ohio. No one moved once they sat down, still like statues with frowns on their faces or bitten lips, until it was their turn to head backstage and get ready.

Quinn squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek before Rachel walked to stand behind the curtain with Puck. He'd shown interest to participate, like he promised, and Mr. Schuester was more than happy to give him the male lead once he saw he had everyone's approval.

"Break a leg, Noah."

"Uh… thanks?"

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"It means good luck."

"Oh." Puck grinned. "Then break 'em both."

Rachel only had time to laugh before the lights behind the curtain were dimmed and the music started playing. She took a deep breath and her heartbeat stabilized, she held her head high and put on a big smile once it was time to walk ahead. She saw her dads as she walked towards the stage and sang, and Mr. and Mrs. Fabray once she stood next to all the New Directions members. She felt everything from goose bumps to a little dizziness, but they were all good things. There was no better feeling than being on a stage doing what she loved with the people she loved in the audience and even performing with her. It had never felt so better, so _right_, so like home. Suddenly she didn't care if they won or lost.

Everyone shrieked and hugged when the performance was over, and she felt hands patting her back and arms around her shoulders and even screamed a little when Brittany picked her up from the ground.

Quinn was panting and beaming when their eyes met, and she stretched her arms, inviting Rachel into them.

"You were amazing, Honey." She breathed in her ear.

"You were spectacular, and so beautiful." Rachel couldn't help but smile and kiss Quinn's cheek hard, so much so that she felt her smile.

"Was it everything you wanted?"

"Yes." Rachel nodded, grinning and pulling back a little to look at Quinn's face. "And it was more, too."

"Good." Quinn swallowed. "Because I'm about to give birth."

Rachel's eyes widened and her smile contorted into a strange open-mouthed expression.

"I have contractions." Quinn breathed out, her expression also morphing, but into slight panic.

Rachel took both of her hands and squeezed, suddenly very serious. She turned her upper body to the left.

"Noah!"

Quinn winced a little at the scream and saw as Puck hurried to them with a huge smile on his face.

"What's up?"

"You need to go find Quinn's parents and my parents and tell them we have to go to the hospital."

"What?" He frowned. "Q, are you –"

"She's having contractions, now go!" Rachel shrieked.

Everyone turned around once Puck left running.

"Are you okay, Quinn?" Mercedes frowned.

Santana and Brittany walked to stand next to them and Santana put a protective arm around Quinn's waist.

"Let's go, Q."

Rachel walked hurriedly in the lead with Quinn's hand on her own, Quinn, Santana and Brittany behind her and the rest of the glee club behind.

"Guys, what's going on?" Mr. Schuester asked, wide-eyed, when he saw all of them walking away.

"We're going to the hospital, Mr. Schue!" Kurt shrieked in a slightly frightened voice. "Quinn's having the baby!"

Rachel's heartbeat increased even more, if possible, at that sentence, and then she was yanked to a stop as Quinn grabbed her stomach and moaned.

"Is that a contortion?" Brittany gasped.

"Oh, yes." Quinn hissed.

"Come on." Mike walked ahead, opening his arms to Quinn.

"What are you doing?" Rachel hissed.

"Trust me, Quinn. I'll carry you." He looked at her very seriously.

Wordlessly, Quinn nodded, and their pace increased considerably once he carried her to the parking lot.

"Get in here!" Judy shrieked once she spotted them.

Russell was on the driver seat, clutching at the steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip.

Mike let Quinn down next to the passenger side and she got inside, Rachel following behind. Puck opened the other side of the car and Judy got into the passenger seat in the front.

"We'll meet you in the hospital!" Santana screamed over the sound of the car starting.

"How will you get there?" Rachel frowned.

"Are you kidding? We have a whole bus!" Santana grinned, getting smaller and out of sight as they drove away.

"Get away!" Quinn moaned, leaning away from Puck.

"I'm sorry, I can't!" He moaned dreadfully.

"Open the windows." Rachel said distractedly, looking at Quinn and frowning in fright.

Quinn moaned and hunched over again, pressing the side of her face against Rachel's right shoulder.

"It's okay, Lucy, we're almost there!" Judy said encouragingly from the passenger seat.

Rachel felt Quinn's sharp breathing against the exposed skin of her shoulder and chest and ducked her head to speak in her ear.

"It's okay, Baby, we'll be there soon, and everything will be alright. Okay?" She whispered. Quinn clutched to the skirt of Rachel's dress and nodded sharply. "We'll be okay, I promise." She kissed her ear, and Quinn moaned from another contraction, twisting Rachel's dress in her fist. "You'll have your baby in your arms by the end of this." Rachel whispered.

"I –"

"We're here!" Judy shrieked.

"I'll get a wheelchair!" Puck screamed, perhaps glad of being able to get out of the car and also doing something useful.

Russell and Judy got out of the car and opened Rachel's side of the door.

"I love you." Quinn cried.

"I love you too." Rachel kissed her cheek and cupped the other with her left hand. They breathed each other in for a few seconds before Puck came back running with the wheelchair.

Everything was a blur of frantic yells and calmed nurses after that. They weren't in Lima and Quinn's OB was too far to call at this instance, but she shook her head and said she didn't care as long as she had a doctor with a diploma and an epidural.

The glee kids showed up as Quinn was being changed into a hospital gown and Judy and Russell gave their information at the reception.

"Where is she?" Brittany gasped, a little out of breath like everyone else next to her.

"She's changing while her parents check her in." Puck answered anxiously.

"What's this? What are you all doing here?" A nurse came up to them, trying to usher them away.

"Our friend is giving birth!" Santana protested.

"Well you can't stay here, go to the waiting room!"

"I –I have to be there." Rachel stuttered, alarmed.

"Are you family?"

"She's her Birthing Advocate." Judy appeared next to them, grabbing Rachel's arm and tugging her along.

"And who –"

"I'm the patient's mother, now move along and do your job!" Judy shrieked.

"I'm her what?" Rachel frowned, nearly running to keep up with Judy.

"Nevermind."

"Wait!" Puck yelled from behind them, running to catch up.

"What are you doing here?" Quinn shrieked as she held her stomach with a grimace.

Judy, Puck and Rachel stood at the room's threshold, wide-eyed.

"You!" Quinn pointed at Puck. "Go away!"

"B-but…"

"You did this to me!" She shrieked. "OUT!"

Rachel grabbed Puck by his biceps and turned him around almost mechanically as Judy opened the door, and Puck stumbled out of the room without further protest. Quinn moaned in pain again and they hurried to stand on each side of her.

"My water broke, Mom." She cried. "It hurts more now."

"I'm so sorry, Honey."

"The obstetrician will be here very soon." A nurse announced as she walked into the room. "My name is –"

Rachel didn't hear anything else as Quinn turned her head to face her with her eyes clenched shut and a pained frown. She blindly reached for Quinn's hand and clutched it in her own.

"I could break it." Quinn warned, and Rachel smiled when she saw the upward curl of her lips.

"As long as you don't hit my nose…" Rachel trailed off.

It was nearly four hours later and the eighth time the doctor said _almost there_ when they heard it, a high pitched cry from obviously very strong and healthy lungs.

"It's a girl!" The doctor announced.

Quinn slumped back against the bed with a breathless, dazed smile, only for a few seconds before she stretched her neck to try and see her baby.

"Wait –"She reached out weakly, but the baby was held up for her to see and then handed to four nurses in the corner of the room.

"They're cleaning her up, remember?" Rachel hurried to say.

"Go see!" Quinn ordered frantically, and Rachel nodded, hovering over the nurses as best as she could while they cleaned the baby and checked her.

Quinn was crying in her mother's arms when she turned around for a second.

"She's gorgeous." Rachel said loudly for them to hear.

Quinn's shoulders shook and Judy smiled softly while she rubbed her daughter's back.

"Are you her sister?" One of the nurses asked.

"S-something like that." Rachel stuttered, not daring to say what she really was in the same room as Judy.

"Would you like to take the baby to her?" The nurse smiled.

Rachel gaped, wide-eyed, taking a few seconds to nod. The nurse placed the baby, carefully wrapped in a pink blanket, in her arms and Rachel slowly walked towards Quinn's bed. Quinn beamed in awe when she saw them approach and stretched her arms to take the baby.

"Hi." She whispered once she was in her arms.

"I'll go tell the news." Rachel smiled.

"No." Quinn looked up sharply, carefully extracting one arm from under the baby and taking Rachel's hand.

"I'll go, sweetie." Judy smiled softly, looking at the baby for a few seconds more before kissing the top of Quinn's head and walking out.

"She's beautiful." Quinn breathed out.

"She is." Rachel nodded, running her finger delicately down the baby's little nose.

"Did you count her fingers and her toes?" Quinn asked seriously.

"I'm sure there's ten of each." Rachel smiled, leaning down to kiss Quinn's temple.

"Hey Rach." Quinn whispered, still looking down at her daughter.

"Hmm?"

"Look at what I did." Quinn grinned, turning her head to look at her.

"Good job." Rachel smiled warmly, leaning down to touch her lips to Quinn's.

"I'm the father!" Puck said to someone behind his back as he entered the room, rolling his eyes before looking ahead and halting, mouth open.

"She's here." Quinn smiled.

Puck walked dazedly towards them wearing scrubs but with the hat clutched tightly in his left hand.

"We did that?" He blurted out, and Quinn's body shook a little with laughter.

"Would you like to hold her?" She said gently.

"Uh, she seems comfortable." He smiled, running a finger down the baby's cheek.

"I'll leave you…" Rachel trailed off.

"What?" Puck frowned, looking up.

"Why?" Quinn frowned.

"I… if you want to be alone…"

Puck's expression deepened into more confusion, but Quinn took Rachel's hand softly and tugged.

"I thought it'd be a good idea to name her Beth, because of the song Noah singed to me."

"Really?" He smiled incredulously.

"It's better than the name Finn suggested once on Spanish class."

Rachel snorted softly.

"What was that?" Puck asked.

"Drizzle."

"No way, dude." He shook his head seriously.

"It suits her." Rachel smiled, looking down at the baby. "Hello, Beth." She grinned, running her fingers down the baby's arm to her little dimpled hand which opened and closed around one of her fingers. Rachel gasped and squeezed Quinn's hand still in her own.

"She's smart." Puck said proudly.

"She's… "Quinn trailed off. "Unreal."

Beth's tongue poked out for a second, then, and the three of them chuckled, smiling when she frowned, and frowning when she grimaced. They looked at her in awe, and she had them hooked.


	12. The Spell

_I realize this is not very long, but it's something. Still counts? I hope so._

_Anyway, I spent a lovely birthday with my baby and I think this can be my gift to myself, two weeks late ;)_

* * *

"Just tell her how you feel."

"Like she doesn't already know."

"Tell her that you'd very much like to go steady."

"Go steady? Who even says that anymore?"

"Watch it."

"Yeah, watch it."

"But I don't want to go steady, I like starting slow and then when she's making that little–"

"An expression! It's an expression!"

"Yeah, that thing she does with her eyes, they kinda roll back –"

"Don't!"

"Do!"

Rachel rolled her eyes at Puck, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Look, Brit, Santana is scared about her feelings, you know how she is." Quinn said softly, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"I know." Brittany ducked her head, gently moving her trapped finger side to side.

Quinn ran a hand slowly over Beth's messy brown hair when she made a little noise. It sounded like agreement to her.

"She loves you, you know that."

"I do." Brittany smiled.

"Tell her you want to be exclusive."

"It just doesn't feel right to kiss other people anymore."

"Tell her that, too."

"You should be just a little more considerate about people's feelings and stop making everything about your libido and sexual fan –"

"Whoa!" Puck held up his hands. "Don't say the S word in front of the baby!"

"You are the one who wanted Brittany to keep telling you about her –"

"You _need_ to stop arguing." Quinn warned.

"Babies are like puppies, they pick up on your stress and your fear." Brittany nodded.

Puck frowned at her.

"But I'm always horny, what if she –"

"Okay!" Quinn sat up straighter with her eyes wide. "You need to go get diapers, Noah."

"But –"

"This is girl talk, we really don't need you."

"I can give romantic advice, you know." He frowned, still getting up and rummaging through his bag for his wallet.

"We know." Rachel smiled, resting her palm on his arm. "Now get out."

"Fine." He grumbled.

"So, Britt." Quinn ducked her head to meet her friend's eye. "What are you going to do?"

Brittany took a big breath.

"I'll tell Santana I don't want to have sex with anyone else and we can do it steady if she wants it like that."

"Okay, close enough." Rachel smiled.

"You guys are awesome." Brittany beamed, getting up from the couch carefully and gently placing Beth on Quinn's arms.

"We know." Rachel grinned.

"I'll let you know!" Brittany threw over her shoulder as she walked away.

Rachel and Quinn looked at each other for a few seconds, listening to the door open, then close.

"I thought they'd never leave." Quinn exhaled as Rachel leaned over the coffee table to press their lips together. "Come here." Quinn scooted to one side of the couch.

Grinning, Rachel nearly plummeted against the cushions, but sat down gently, mindful of the baby. Of course they were just getting comfortable to kiss more in front of her, but the tingles in her chest were unstoppable.

"Do you think –"Quinn pulled away slightly. "They were right about the horny thing?"

"Rachel!" Quinn pulled away with a laugh, cheeks tinted pink.

"Sorry." Rachel bit her lip shyly.

"I –I –"Quinn opened and closed her mouth. "You –making me stutter. God, I hate you."

"No you don't."

"No, I don't."

Rachel rested a hand on Beth's dark hair while she pecked Quinn's lips.

"Someone smells funky." She mumbled.

Quinn sighed and nodded.

"I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow." She said softly once they were upstairs changing diapers.

"It's going to be okay." Rachel said warmly from her spot on the rocking chair. "And your Mom will take care of her for a few hours, then you'll be back –"

"What if she misses me?" Quinn turned around with a frown, cradling Beth's head against her shoulder. "Or if she thinks I've a-abandoned her." She sniffled.

"She won't." Rachel smiled, getting up to stand toe to toe with them and taking one of Beth's chubby hands on her own.

"She'll turn three months old and I'll be at school all day." Quinn pouted.

"You just want to whine a little, don't you?" Rachel murmured before kissing her. "Have some of my effective comfort kisses?"

"Maybe." Quinn smiled. "Fifty-fifty?"

Beth made a small babbling noise.

"She says seventy-thirty." Rachel grinned. "Right?"

Quinn chuckled as Rachel took the baby from her arms and gently spun her around, cradling her against her chest.

"She holds her head up, did you see?"

"Of course." Quinn smiled warmly.

"What?" Rachel frowned with a little smile at Quinn's warm stare. "You're going to burn a hole through us."

Quinn smiled, watching Beth suckle her hand.

"I just love you." She shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.

Rachel grinned, raising her eyebrows playfully while she sat on the rocking chair again.

"Aren't you Mommy McCharming Pants." She cooed down at Beth.

"What?" Quinn snorted, covering her mouth while she laughed.

"You know you are." Rachel smiled, tongue caught between her teeth.

"I'm not Mc _anything_."

"She's trying to be humble, but she's really an expert smooth talker." Rachel whispered down at Beth, who answered with a gurgle.

"Stop it." Quinn smiled, resting a hand on the arm of the chair to lean over and kiss Rachel's lips.

"See?" Rachel mumbled.

"Shut up." Quinn caught her lower lip between her teeth gently.

There was a thud behind them and Quinn stood back straight, turning around with wide eyes to find Russell covering his eyes with both hands, a bag of diapers at his feet.

"Daddy…" Quinn whispered.

Russell's hands fell to his sides, his lips pressed together and his eyes narrowed.

"I'll be downstairs." He said before turning around and walking away.

Quinn looked down at Rachel with wide eyes, and Rachel was looking at the empty doorway with her mouth open.

"We should…"

"Yeah."

Russell was downstairs in the living room when they entered, sitting on his usual spot with a glass of dark red liquid in his hand.

"Daddy, it's four o'clock." Quinn mumbled.

"It's apple juice, Lucy." He raised his eyebrows. "Sit down, girls."

They obliged, Quinn laying down Beth on the stroller beside the couch.

"Daddy –"

"Were you ever planning on telling us?" He asked.

"We –we were." Quinn nodded. "It's just –"

"With Beth…" Rachel shrugged. "We didn't know what you'd…"

"We've known each other for a very long time, Rachel." She nodded. "You –and your fathers, are family to us."

"You're family to us, too." Rachel bit her lip.

"I thought we, as a family, wouldn't keep secrets from each other." He said seriously, and Quinn closed her eyes tightly for a second.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head. "I was scared. I didn't know how you'd react, with… Noah and Beth a-and Rachel…"

"I understand." He nodded. "There's something I'd like to tell you, especially you." He looked at Rachel.

"Okay." She nodded.

"You know how… my father has taken a strong liking to you." Rachel nodded. "Us, the Fabrays, we come from a strong line of intolerant people. My father always tried to raise me different, to stray us from those roots. You know why?"

"No." Rachel shook her head, posture relaxing a little when Quinn's hand rested above her own.

"When my father was young, his older brother was kicked out of the house by my grandparents. They didn't… approve his lifestyle, and didn't want him to be a part of the family anymore. It took years for my father to realize his brother wasn't coming back, to be… brave enough to start looking for him. When he did find him twenty years later, my uncle's partner was dying in the hospital, and he wasn't allowed inside to see him. To…" He took a deep breath. "To say goodbye. My father and uncle slept for three days straight in the hospital, without showering or shaving, and doing everything they could to be able to take the body, and give him a proper burial." He shook his head. "They didn't have luck."

"That's awful." Rachel whispered, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes.

"My father taught me that family is what matters the most." He said more firmly. "Your love for your family must be unconditional, equal to your love for God Himself. I'm teaching you this now." He looked at both of them in the eye. "Is that understood?"

"Yes." They said at the same time, nodding.

"The Lord preaches love and acceptance." Russell said a little more softly. "Souls are inside bodies, and God created those souls. If they match, it's God's work."

Quinn nodded, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"Now, I've known you two were special since the moment we all met. Perhaps I didn't expect this; it doesn't mean I don't understand." He laughed as Quinn threw herself in his arms.

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you, too." Rachel said, still sitting in front of them.

Russell laughed even harder.

"You're not saving yourselves from keeping the door open at all times."

Quinn gasped.

* * *

"…and then he told us _'no funny business in front of the baby'_"

Santana doubled over in laughter, and Puck wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.

"That's awesome, man."

"I don't see the awesomeness of it." Rachel grumbled. "What could we possibly do? We already _have_ a baby!"

They all raised their eyebrows at her, except Quinn, who hid her face in Rachel's arm with a silly smile.

"You never know." Brittany frowned seriously.

"That doesn't make any sense." Rachel narrowed her eyes at her and she shrugged.

"Time to go inside." Quinn announced with gloom.

They all looked dauntingly at McKinley's front doors.

"Think they'll welcome us with a slushie?" Rachel asked apprehensively.

"Not us." Santana grinned, hooking her pinky finger with Brittany's and walking ahead.

"Not me if they don't want to be punched in the face." Puck growled, hitting his left palm with his right fist.

Rachel and Quinn looked at each other.

"We got your back." Santana walked back and hooked her arm around Quinn's.

"Yeah, what were you thinking?" Puck scoffed, offering his arm to Rachel.

"Things far away from here." Quinn mumbled.

By lunch time Santana had to glare at a few people and Puck threatened a couple more, and Rachel knew it was only time until they found either of them alone or forgot about them completely. Being an outcast the previous years had sucked, but she knew her friends got her back, and it was alright. But having to worry about Lucy being slushied as well was completely different, especially when she knew what bad memories it brought. What was possibly worst was seeing her girl wearing a constant frown and knowing what she was thinking about, who she was missing.

Rachel walked down the hallway to Quinn's locker and leaned casually against the one next to the blonde.

"I have a surprise for you."

"What?" Quinn eyed her skeptically.

"It's not a surprise if I tell you, right?"

"Okay..." Quinn bit her lip around a smile and waited as Rachel touched buttons on her cellphone.

"Now… I spoke to your Mom yesterday." Rachel smiled. "And the day before that, and the day before _that_…" She frowned. "Until she got it." She beamed. "So…"

It took a few seconds until the screen was bright and Judy spoke from the other side.

"Quinnie!" She said excitedly. "This is so modern, I feel like a cavewoman… how did I do that thing with the thingy, Rachel?"

Quinn opened her mouth in shock as the walls and cabinets of her kitchen flew by on the screen until her mother's face filled it.

"Oh, there!"

"Mom?" Quinn whispered in awe.

"Hi, baby! How is the first day of school, girls? Are you having fun? I hope you're also learning, though…"

"Mom!"

"Oh, yes, right. Hi, dear." Judy beamed. "Rachel and I were talking because you were feeling a little sad…"

"Doesn't surprise me." Quinn narrowed her eyes at Rachel without any real malice.

"So she taught me how to do this… _Skipy_ thing…"

Quinn frowned.

"She means _Skype_." Rachel whispered.

"…at first, but it doesn't seem too complicated now." Judy went on. "So, anyway… wait a second, Honey."

Quinn watched as her mom walked across the kitchen to the hallway and into her father's study, heart beating wildly against her chest.

"Now shush…" Judy whispered.

The camera turned around, flashing the bookcases in the wall, to Russell, who was lying back in his chair behind his desk, completely asleep with Beth held securely in his arms and against his torso and chest.

"He gave her a bottle and they were like this when I came to check on them an hour ago." Judy whispered from behind the camera.

Quinn smiled, reaching blindly but assertively for Rachel's hand and interlacing their fingers.

"It's okay, Mom. Let them sleep."

"So are you okay?" Judy's face appeared a few seconds later once she left the office and closed the door.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Quinn swallowed thickly. "Thank you. Um… we should…"

"Yes, go study, Honey. We'll be waiting for you."

"Bye Mom."

"Bye girls!"

The call disconnected and Quinn took a deep breath, turning her misty eyes to Rachel.

"I –I knew you'd miss her… and quite frankly I did as well… so I thought –"

Quinn pressed their lips together, her right hand sneaking around Rachel's waist to press her closer. It felt like her heart was bursting inside her chest, trying to squeeze its way up her throat and land at Rachel's feet.

"I love you." She whispered against her lips.

"I l-love _that_ –y-you." Rachel gasped out.

Quinn pressed their foreheads together and giggled.

"Way to make the job harder for us." Santana said with a sly smile, leaning against the lockers next to them.

Rachel looked around to find the few students in the hall looking at them, some with their mouths open, others frowning, and all of them whispering with each other.

"Oops."

* * *

"Remember when I was ten and daddy told me that if you loved someone you screamed it out loud?" Rachel murmured.

The room was quiet and still. The blinds were shut, but a little light came in between the slits. If she tried hard enough, she could hear Beth's even breathing on her crib. She could see her belly rise and fall with every breath from where she was laying, if she pressed her right ear against Quinn's stomach, where she was lying and kissing.

"We screamed I love you to each other for a week." Quinn grinned, stroking her hands down Rachel's long hair.

"And Frannie visited and always looked at us funny when we did it." Rachel remembered after a few minutes of exploring Quinn's skin.

Of course she was tempted, both of them were. But they were also so, so tired. They had even stayed home alone without the baby a few weeks before, and _fallen asleep_ _on the couch_.

Russell and Judy had found them sleeping there a few hours later, fully clothed and with the TV on. They must've thought them such good kids.

Perhaps they weren't. They were just tired.

Otherwise they'd be…

"Until Mom explained, yes." Quinn mumbled amusedly at Rachel, who was wearing the strangest expression on her face.

Rachel shut her eyes tight and closed her mouth, inhaling deeply. The smell of Quinn's skin, much like Beth's own, filled her head.

"And then you screamed I love you to your Mom and everyone laughed." Rachel murmured distractedly.

Quinn made a little embarrassment noise that made Rachel smile. She bit her lip.

"Should I start screaming it more often?"

"You would wake up the baby." Quinn frowned with a smile, glancing at Beth's crib warmly.

"Okay, on the streets then." Rachel nodded and grinned. "Even better."

"No, Rachel." Quinn tried to contain her laughter, tangling her fingers on Rachel's hair. "Please don't do it."

"But it's a marvelous idea." Rachel grinned. Quinn could see in her eyes that she meant it.

"Okay, just –when we're alone together and the baby is awake, okay?" She smiled shyly.

"It's a deal."

* * *

Rachel and Quinn were running around the house, doing chores for Judy with Beth wrapped around their backs at turns. It was Beth's first birthday and Grandpop Rhett would be coming to visit again. Judy was trying to make everything perfect, even if they had never seen Grandpop say anything bad about the house.

Frannie had come alone, but as always decided to skip her Mom's wrath and ditched. She offered to take Beth, and did, but had to bring her back because she wouldn't stop crying.

Quinn ran around cleaning the house until four o'clock, because Beth was getting grumpy and she didn't want her baby to spend her birthday like that. Rachel stayed helping Judy with a smile and Quinn took Beth to the park, texting Frannie to meet her there. They rocked Beth on the swing and took turns sliding down the slide with the baby on their arms. While Beth fell asleep they sat against a tree under the sun and talked about silly things.

Quinn wanted to ask her what she thought about her relationship with Rachel now, but couldn't find the courage. Still, it felt like an underlying tension, a ghost that lingered during the entire time they were alone. Frannie didn't say anything, and Quinn couldn't bring herself to do anything.

And anyway, it seemed pointless to worry about those things on a sunny afternoon, on her daughter's first birthday.

When they returned with a widely awake and eager baby, Rachel and Grandpop Rhett were already drinking hot cocoa and laughing their heads off at the kitchen island.

He practically jumped out of his stool when they came in with Beth. She smiled widely at him and stretched her arms, so Quinn gave her straight to him and kissed Rachel on the lips. Rachel still blushed every time she did that in front of their family, but no one ever said anything, and oftentimes they smiled.

Beth saw only wonderful things in it, for she unfortunately caught on on the I love you thing and always babbled it loudly at them when they kissed. It was a very cute thing, but unfortunate when they were trying to sneak around.

Grandpop nearly screamed with laugher when she screamed it as soon as he took her in his arms, but didn't realize that Quinn and Rachel were kissing behind his back.

Frannie just covered her eyes while she laughed, trying to cover it up a little for her Grandpa.

He knew they kissed, but they always tried to do it behind his back because it was a little embarrassing. But of course that, by the end of the afternoon, Grandpop caught on with what it meant but tried to keep it to himself, and only smiled widely when Beth did it.

Beth was passed delightfully from arms to arms around the entire families and was showered with little presents. Only at two in the morning was Quinn able to take her to bed, rocking her while reading her a story and listening to Rachel sing when the story didn't work. She placed the teddy bear on her baby's arms when she frowned as Quinn laid her in her crib.

They walked quietly down the hallway. Frannie was on one of the guest rooms and Grandpop on the other, so it was everyone's knowledge that Rachel and Quinn were sleeping in the same room.

Rachel blushed at the thought of what their families thought, but the truth was that they still hadn't had sex with each other. Taking care of a baby was exhausting, and they were never really alone. Sometimes every little touch sent a warm tingle down her belly, and sometimes they would sneak around at any chance they could find to make out, even getting inside the wardrobe once; but it was okay. Rachel wasn't planning on going anywhere, she had patience.

The sheets were cool once she got inside them and lay down next to Quinn. She was warm, always, and Rachel took her chance to snuggle and pressed her nose under her girlfriend's ear.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Quinn turned her head around with a little smile, catching Rachel's lips in a sweet, short kiss.

"Will you go to Prom with me?" She whispered.

Rachel opened her eyes at that, and her mouth opened and closed. She sat up abruptly.

"Are you serious?" She grinned.

"You weren't expecting this?" Quinn frowned with a smile. "With whom did you think I'd go with? Finn?" She snorted.

"I… I just –" Rachel shook her head.

"Well?" Quinn raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"Yes!" Rachel threw herself and Quinn and knocked her down on the bed, kissing her lips hard.

"Hmm, good." Quinn mumbled, wrapping her arms around Rachel's back and deepening the kiss.

She was suddenly not so sleepy.

* * *

Puck's house seemed to be vibrating. The floor, the walls, _the curtains_.

There were plastic cups on every surface inside the house and the backyard, smell of alcohol and sweat and strange smokes.

Rachel had never been in a party like that, with kids practically having sex on the dance floor and smoking weed on the backyard, and getting drunk off their asses at the kitchen. It was mostly excitement from Prom a couple of hours ago, although she was sure some people weren't aware of what day it was anymore.

Mike and Tina were making out against one of the big speakers and Brittany was already doing a striptease for Santana and everyone else watching by default.

But those things were far away from her mind now.

Now, Quinn's mouth was attached to her pulse point and her hands were running down her legs as far as she could reach. Rachel moaned into the kiss and grabbed onto Quinn's hair, head colliding against the door she was leaning to and hips canting up. She could feel Quinn's warm, deep breath against her neck and it made warmth pool between her legs. She opened them to fit Quinn better and hook a leg around her waist. Quinn's hands trailed up under her shirt to her bra and snuck beneath, palms dragging against her nipples.

Rachel hissed, tugging at Quinn's hair and smashing their lips together. Quinn's hips canting forward between her legs made all thought flee from her mind; it was fogged with pink and arousal. There were uncontrollable sounds coming out from her mouth and she was pretty sure the alcohol was at least _a little_ to blame. But she'd wanted this for a very long time.

She let go of Quinn's hair and sneaked her hands beneath her shirt at her back, hugging her shoulder blades and pressing their bodies together.

Quinn kept her lips pressed against Rachel's cheek as her right hand unbuttoned Rachel's jeans. She sneaked it inside her jeans and dragged her palm along Rachel's underwear.

Rachel made a deep noise and hid her face in the crook of Quinn's neck.

Quinn breathed in the scent of her hair as she felt Rachel's slight tremble and heard the muffled music from downstairs.

"I don't want it to happen like this." She mumbled.

Rachel nodded, even if her hips were still pressing down against Quinn's hand.

"I know." She smiled, dragging her fingernails lightly down Quinn's back and outside her shirt, moving blonde hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ears.

Quinn bit her lip and looked down at her hand inside Rachel's jeans, watching it as she moved it out and behind to Rachel's lower back.

"I want to." Rachel whispered earnestly, palming Quinn's cheeks and bringing her head up to meet her eyes. "I really do."

"Me too." Quinn smiled and pecked her lips. "Just not… like this." She frowned.

"It's okay." Rachel pressed their foreheads together. "I can wait… I'll wait for you, as long as it takes."

"Hopefully not _very_ long." Quinn smiled playfully, meeting Rachel's eye as her hands moved down to Rachel's butt. "In the mean time…"

Rachel giggled before meeting her lips.

* * *

_This was supposed to be the last chapter, but I split it in two because I haven't updated in a while. I'm sorry. I hate it too. I won't promise to update next week, but I will finish this._

_Hope it soothed the itch. (And that it's not a strange thing to say :P)_


End file.
